Child Care is costing us the equivelent of a mortgage!

suki1964

vroombroom wrote: »

£40k per year? I hope they have diamond encrusted gold spoons for their brekkie at that price:eek:

The poster means she has given up work to care for her child and thats at a cost of 40K in lost salary

NEH

I actually thought of this thread after posting here yesterday when i was at the local train station and one of the nurseries in the area was out and about with the little ones. They'd come to the beach on the train but my word it should have been cancelled

For most of the morning they were at the beach it was torrential rain (i am not exaggerating) . Even standing at the train station the nannies only had their work fleeces on and they were wet through, they hadn't put the little ones hoods up either....It was basic common sense that the nannies would need a coat in this awful weather and yet probably parents somewhere are thinking their kids are being looked after well...I felt really sorry for them, i wouldn't' have liked to be out in that amount of rain never mind when being that small and at least if i have to go out in that amount of rain i'm prepared for it.

donteatthat

I'm soon going to be paying for 2 to go to nursery for 3 days per week as will only have 15 months or so between my children.
I don't think it's right to be judgemental over those who stay at home, send theirs to nursery, get a nanny or use family as childminders although of course everyone has their own opinions on whats best and thats fine.
My OH put things very well the other night when we were discussing exactly this topic - "OMG how much is the childcare going to be when there are 2 of them"....and having 2 kids already from his first marriage he said that as a couple you essentially financially stagnate for a good few years. But once you get out of it (assuming your relationship hasn't gone belly up in the meantime!) things are so so much better!!
So chin up all! Be glad you have got your kids as many as not as fortunate as us

Raspberry_beret

property.advert wrote: »

It isn't just about looking after the child but educating them. Few stand ins or grandparents can do much of that in reality.

What a strange thing to say. My mum is a maths teacher and minister with 2 degrees, is incredibly active and in her late 50s and will be helping me with childcare (I will be working parttime from home and DH runs his own business from home so can do some childcare around that). She is also fabulous with children. I can say with absolute certainty that she could educate a child as well as anybody on earth and I'm sure there are many grandparents and other carers out there in exactly the same position.

anguk

vroombroom wrote: »

can I ask how people paid for childcare before tax credits and vouchers and stuff?

I'm in my 40s and when I had my kids there were no tax credits or childcare vouchers. In those days if you wanted to go back to work after having children you paid for all the childcare yourself or family helped out. If you had no family to help and it wasn't financially viable to pay childcare one parent stayed at home or you worked around each others shifts.

Back then there wasn't as many nurseries either, it was very hard to find decent childcare, more nurseries only really started appearing once tax credits were introduced.

I will say though that nursery fees were cheaper back then, the fees went up when tax credits were introduced. It's a vicious circle really, nurseries knew parents could now get tax credits and help towards childcare so they put their fees up, parents are now trapped claiming help because the fees are so high. It's ended up costing parents and the government a lot of money for childcare, the only people who seem to have benefited are the nursery owners.

Something similar has happened with employers. Many used to employ people full-time but when tax credits were introduced they employed part-time workers (at a much cheaper rate) because they knew the government would top up their wages.

I would be interested to know what the tax credit and childcare bill is for this country per year. People who don't work have a whole heap of scorn dumped on them, they get called benefit scroungers, we're constantly being told how much benefit claimants are costing etc etc yet I wouldn't be surprised if the tax credit/childcare bill was just as much.

Littlemiss-lotsofdebt

skintchick wrote: »

What is it with this assumption that parents who don't work (and yes I do know you mean people on benefits and not people like me) sit on the sofa all day? Do you not think they might be, er, PARENTING?

Even if people have chosen to be on benefits, which is not something I personally agree with, I am sure the benefits do not come with a live-in nanny, or some drug to give to your children so they never demand your attention or care.

I would imagine those people are, just like the rest of us, cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, wiping noses and bottoms, playing games and going to the park, none of which counts as 'sitting on their !!!!!! all day'.

Can we please stop with all the insulting comments? What about people who want to work but can't get a job in the current climate? Or people with disabilities?

It is not actually necessary to be in paid employment to be a valuable contributing member of society.

I don't think I actually personalised that post to any particular group of people, but if you want to take offence than that is up to you. I still stand by my comments as do probably many other people who get sick to the back teeth of working their way up a career ladder, only to start a family and be penalised because they have a successful career, reasonable income and two parents. And yes, I have done the maths - if I kicked out OH and 'sat on my @ss' like our neighbour does, I'd be financially better off, how is that right??

Skint_but_Optimistic

Im in my 40s.
I have three kids, I had one when I was doing my degree aged 19, one when I was 30 and one last year.

With DD1, I was at uni three full days a week, and worked 2 full days on a weekend for money as we were newly married and had nothing. She was worth it, but I hated leaving her, I knew I had to finish my degree, and I was with her 2 days a week, just me and her. While I was doing my degree I used a creche in the university, it cost me £8 a day, it was subsidised and I could pop in and see her.

With DD2 I had a very successful job and sadly my marriage was on the rocks (I didnt realise it then). IN those days, you only got three months maternity leave. My ex husband was vehement that I could not reduce my hours, as I needed to pay my half of the mortgage (he earned 4 thousand more than me but it was all 50/50). My mother and father in law had DD2.

My marriage broke down when she was ten months old, and my ex husband wiped me out financially, he made up some !!!! and bull story about me having an affair (it was actually him who was having an affair) and MIL and FIL refused to have DD2 anymore for my benefit. I tried and failed to secure childcare, short notice. I had a breakdown and had to leave my job to look after DD2.

It was great but I had nothing, and a lot of debts to pay.

With DS I am remarried and happily so, but DH is significantly younger than me, and additionally I earn significantly more than he does.

DS has the best and most balanced childcare out of my three. The resulting money into childcare means there are more choices. Sadly though you need to get in fast to get the right one. Choose whats right for you etc. I have to sometimes travel with my job and my childminder can accomodate that.

I have him every evening and every weekend. I do go out with DH, once every 4 months.
He is with a fabulous childminder, three days a week. Today they are out at an adventure playground in a forest.
He goes to MIL on a Tuesday. Yesterday they were at a park and they did some messy play with sand and water.
He has daddy on a Friday, as daddy has given up working a Friday to mind him. They do general house things and playtimes.

This is the most costly out of my three children, but he is getting new experiences and meeting more people, also I cut my working day - I take a shorter lunch break to get in earlier - if I travel I take time off in lieu and spend it with him.

Ideally, I would want to be at home with my children. I love them and would have wanted that for all of them. All time we are together is quality time.
I just have to think of financial security and the big picture, and be realistic.

At the end of the day I still have 34 thousand worth of debt, a house to finish renovating etc.

So thats from me, who had a child a decade!

fannyanna

donteatthat wrote: »

So chin up all! Be glad you have got your kids as many as not as fortunate as us

Well said :T

I've got the money to put a child in childcare but just not the child yet

must_try_harder_2

fannyanna wrote: »

Well said :T

I've got the money to put a child in childcare but just not the child yet

Me too. We waited a long time after getting married to start trying for a child and so we can afford childcare but can't conceive the child! If/when we do I will never complain how much I am having to pay for childcare because I am making the choice to have kids and will accept full financial responsibility for them.

Incidentally I have looked into childcare and for one child it will cost twice what our mortgage is, and we have a fairly large mortgage. But I can't wait until I am lucky enough to be able to pay double my mortgage for childcare!

fannyanna

must_try_harder wrote: »

Me too. We waited a long time after getting married to start trying for a child and so we can afford childcare but can't conceive the child! If/when we do I will never complain how much I am having to pay for childcare because I am making the choice to have kids and will accept full financial responsibility for them.

Incidentally I have looked into childcare and for one child it will cost twice what our mortgage is, and we have a fairly large mortgage. But I can't wait until I am lucky enough to be able to pay double my mortgage for childcare!

I hope your time comes soon x