Child Care is costing us the equivelent of a mortgage!

fannyanna

NEH wrote: »

I'll probably get flamed for saying this so i'll duck but having children is a CHOICE not a right....

Doesn't matter whether you're a SAHP or a working couple, finances should be thought about very carefully before you go and have children...If nursery fees are high then that is a consequence of choice and we all have them at some point...It's all very well moaning about how high nursery fees are but it was your decision to have children and your decision to work and with that comes the responsibility of providing for your children the best possible care. Yes sometimes it seems others are getting more than you in terms of help but unfortunately as grown up you know life isn't always fair.

I know from a personal view folks think we're mad because we're considering the financial aspect of having children before having them and we can't afford them at the moment. As with any major investment as it were you would do your research so why not with a child, i know it's sweet to think love alone will get you through but you have to take into consideration the financial aspect and to some extent medical aspects (but that's a whole other story)

I won't flame you

Hubby and I are currently trying for a baby. We've been wanting a baby for the past few years however I've been very adament that we need to be in a financial position to do so. I know you can make cutbacks and get baby things cheap however my main concern has aways been childcare. Where we live nursery fees are around £1,200. That's not the kind of money that you can just find lying around or make available by making some cutbacks. We've got ourself debt free (other than mortgage) and can now afford childcare. We just need the baby now :rotfl:

seven-day-weekend

NEH wrote: »

I'll probably get flamed for saying this so i'll duck but having children is a CHOICE not a right....

Doesn't matter whether you're a SAHP or a working couple, finances should be thought about very carefully before you go and have children...If nursery fees are high then that is a consequence of choice and we all have them at some point...It's all very well moaning about how high nursery fees are but it was your decision to have children and your decision to work and with that comes the responsibility of providing for your children the best possible care. Yes sometimes it seems others are getting more than you in terms of help but unfortunately as grown up you know life isn't always fair.

I know from a personal view folks think we're mad because we're considering the financial aspect of having children before having them and we can't afford them at the moment. As with any major investment as it were you would do your research so why not with a child, i know it's sweet to think love alone will get you through but you have to take into consideration the financial aspect and to some extent medical aspects (but that's a whole other story)

Personally I've seen relatives who put their children into nursery care and they're there from 7:30/8am to 6pm that's potentially 10 hours a day, 50 hours a week which in some cases is more hours than your average working soul. As Jo Frost said the average time people spend with their kids is 45 mins a day the same time we take to walk a dog, puts things in perspective....A lot of the children are fed completely by the nurseries and by the time they go home it's nearing bedtime and in essence it makes the parents weekend parents only. I just think it's very sad when you hear how tired the little ones are....

I also think these days a lot of folks have lost the sense of how much money is worth. When you go through finances with some folks they are adamant that they both have to work but when you go through the finances and what they spend, you know it is to fund a certain lifestyle and it's not one they want to sacrifice for the sake of having children. I'm not saying it is the case in every situation but in some cases folks don't know how to budget or how to do without things, or even the concept of buy what you can afford.

And those same people would not leave a dog in kennels all week.

FatVonD

I don't wish to join the argument on either side but in my case I sold a 4-bed house and bought a 2-bed flat so I didn't have to go back to work when my son was small. I stayed off until he went to school and then went back to work, if i had my time again I'd not even go back then. My career didn't suffer for my 4 years out but I'm certainly further down the housing ladder than I would have been

KiKi

Dynamax wrote: »

I'm staggered at the cost of child-care and have just been informed by Child Tax Credits that we don't qualify for any help towards our childcare costs.

Even more frustrating is the fact that others we know who choose not to work (or work a minimum of 16hrs each) get the majority of their child care costs paid and also recieving housing benefit! Spoungers!

I don't understand the difference between the 'spoungers' who get child care paid for - and you, who is complaining you won't get any help from the government because you expect it. How does that make you better?

I also don't understand why anyone chooses to have a child out of love (one hopes), then complains that the government won't pay - or contribute to - the costs.

I'm also surprised that you are 'staggered' by the cost of childcare. Not because it's not expensive, but because you didn't look at this prior to now.

KiKi

CH27

fannyanna wrote: »

I won't flame you

Hubby and I are currently trying for a baby. We've been wanting a baby for the past few years however I've been very adament that we need to be in a financial position to do so. I know you can make cutbacks and get baby things cheap however my main concern has aways been childcare. Where we live nursery fees are around £1,200. That's not the kind of money that you can just find lying around or make available by making some cutbacks. We've got ourself debt free (other than mortgage) and can now afford childcare. We just need the baby now :rotfl:

I hope you get him or her very soon:)

babyfruitella

Tropez wrote: »

Congratulations on completely missing the point! :T

Why would I put "scroungers" in inverted commas? Could it possibly be because I was suggesting that the people the OP was directing his anger towards may well not be scroungers at all? Perhaps there is an also element that the OP is the creator of his own situation and therefore complaining about other people doesn't benefit him now, does it?

I assume you also realise that you could have any amount in savings and still claim child benefit if you met the criteria? You can get housing benefit even with savings up to £16,000.

And what the hell is wrong with you if you believe that people who rely on the welfare system "shouldn't be doing anything"?

I sense sarcasm is lost on you.

Tropez

babyfruitella wrote: »

I sense sarcasm is lost on you.

And I sense that you haven't a valid counter-argument and have consequently resorted to the "sarcasm" defence.

babyfruitella

Tropez wrote: »

And I sense that you haven't a valid counter-argument and have consequently resorted to the "sarcasm" defence.

I dont need a defence thanks. I dont know you. You're a name on a computer screen.

Tropez

babyfruitella wrote: »

I dont need a defence thanks. I dont know you. You're a name on a computer screen.

One of them, eh?

Ah well, every forum has to have a few.

Spendless

I turned down the opportunity to apply for 2 f-time jobs last year, including 1 where I am temping part-time, as I didn't want to drop my kids off at breakfast club at 7.30am and pick them up from after school club at 5.30pm 5 days a week. No disrespect to anyone who has to do it, or who wants to do it but I don't. My kids already have 1 resident parent who is frequently absent from their lives due to work commitments, I have no desire to give them 2. I can't forsee my looking for f-time work till my youngest is at least Secondary school age and preferably not until she's in key stage 4.

OP- You need to look into childcare vouchers as already mentioned. Have you asked nursery if fees reduce once child is 2 (some of them do) and there's 15 hours funding term after their 3.