Child Care is costing us the equivelent of a mortgage!

zcrat41

Wow, really interesting thread.

I really disagree with the idea that a woman (or man) has to earn 25k (or some such) and work 9 - 5.

I've just got married. Myself and my husband (I love saying that still!) see our marriage as a financial partnership. I'm clever, I had a good career. I have given that up to work in a lesser paid sector to give our relationship a chance. He is likely to be a much higher earner than I will ever be (and I was a degree educated professional) and I see it as my role to help and support him. I still do paid work but it complements our business. He would not be able to do the job he does or earn what he does without the support of me. (or his mum before I came along, got to give the woman some credit)

We have made all of these decisions so far based towards creating the family life we want - if we're lucky enough to have kids. If not, roll on on the holidays!

Skint_but_Optimistic

I think the bottom line has to be this, we make choices in life and for every choice there is something you give up.

When you marry, you give up your single lifestyle, and you gain your partnership.


with having children, youre financially, emotionally and legally responsible for them, it is emotive and it should be an emotive subject, but you have to accept there are sacrifices to be made for the privilige of being a parent.

I work and I could earn alot more, I used to work all over the country, I still need to work but now its three miles from home.

At the end of the day, if your child is happy, well adjusted and your family is blossoming you made the right choice for you.

If not, whats to stop people reviewing the situation? Downsizing the house, selling the car, staying at home? Nothing.

We have thought about it ourselves, but right now as a family, both of us working works for us.

FBaby

mishkanorman wrote: »

Well I'm one of those job-less scroungers you all love to hate on this thread !


I gave up work to have my eldest 8 years ago, had another child 2 years later and due to the childcare costs involved I've not returned to work. When we looked at jobs in my area (I dont drive, cant afford to) it roughly worked out that all my wages would be spent on the 6 weeks holiday + the several other half terms/end of terms through out the year. We get tax credits so my OH's 17k wage gets topped up to around 21k, we survive on that but are no means 'well-off'. For childcare it would work out to be around £300 per month for during term time and as much as £300-£400 per week for holidays.

Looking at the choices we felt ours to be the better for our family

Your choice made sense in light of the fact that the government supported it. However, the reality is that you could very well take on an evening or week-end job that suited around your husband's so you still wouldn't have to arrange childcare, but it would mean working to earn the £4K rather than enjoying nice evenings and weekends whilst the tax payers makes up for the difference.

FBaby

Skint_but_Optimistic wrote: »

I think the bottom line has to be this, we make choices in life and for every choice there is something you give up.

When you marry, you give up your single lifestyle, and you gain your partnership.


with having children, youre financially, emotionally and legally responsible for them, it is emotive and it should be an emotive subject, but you have to accept there are sacrifices to be made for the privilige of being a parent.

I work and I could earn alot more, I used to work all over the country, I still need to work but now its three miles from home.

At the end of the day, if your child is happy, well adjusted and your family is blossoming you made the right choice for you.

If not, whats to stop people reviewing the situation? Downsizing the house, selling the car, staying at home? Nothing.

We have thought about it ourselves, but right now as a family, both of us working works for us.

This is an excellent post

mishkanorman

FBaby wrote: »

Your choice made sense in light of the fact that the government supported it. However, the reality is that you could very well take on an evening or week-end job that suited around your husband's so you still wouldn't have to arrange childcare, but it would mean working to earn the £4K rather than enjoying nice evenings and weekends whilst the tax payers makes up for the difference.

Actually the reality is there are no evening jobs here that arent bar work, which I have done for the last 4 years every saturday night. The minimum wage meant £24 in my pocket.

I have been selling Usborne books for a year and getting childcare where i could, it didnt offer enough of a wage either.

We are also tax payers

FBaby

Aren't there any residential care homes? They are always looking for evening/week-end staff. Nothing wrong with bar jobs either. 4 evenings a week without having to pay for childcare would surely mean more than £24 income...

But again, why do it when you don't have to... I don't really blame you, it's the government that makes it possible...

mishkanorman

Its a small market town, there isnt much of anything. The care home requires qualifications I dont have. As Ive said, there is nothing wrong with bar work but there isnt any available shifts.

I dont feel guilty about having tax credits top us up, Ive paid into the system and it is now helping us. Would I rather my OH earned 25k + ? obviously !!

Dont forget, tax credits dont just help those with children !

**Patty**

Not everyone's OH works 9-5.

A vast amount of min.wage/lower paid jobs are shift work.....either rotating days/afternoons or days/afternoons/nights. How do you fit evening work round that?

Employers change contracts all the time......when my husband first started in his job he worked 6-2 days & the following week 2-10 afternoons..monday to friday.

He now works:

week 1: mon/tues/wed/thurs 6pm-6am nights.
week 2: mon/tues/wed 6-6 days...off thurs....fri/sat/sun 6-6 nights.
week 3: mon pm/tues/wed off......thurs/fri/sat/sun 6-6 nights.
week 4: under my feet as the European working time directive kicks in.


Thankfully....he earns enough so i don't HAVE to work for us to survive.

Sugar_Moon

I used to be a nursery nurse in various locations looking after babies and children aged 0-4 years full time whilst their mothers worked.

I have to say that when I eventually have children, they will not go to a day nursery. Why? Cos so much happens behind closed doors that they dont tell you about. Ive seen careless accidents covered up with a dopey story so they wouldnt get in trouble. ive seen nursery nurses encourage kids to fight. need i go on? Children arent always happy (even if the nursery nurse bluffs and says baby had a great day). Ive seen kids go hysterical when their mums leave, Ive seen kids whimper when theyre ill and want their mum, not a nursery nurse. I felt for them.
We had to give the impression that the place was well run, the kids were happy and all was rosy. I was a miserable 19 year old on £5 an hour looking after up to 18 3 year olds with just a student or unqualified nursery nurse to help me! I had no breaks and was treated badly by management because I was ten a penny. I suffered stress. I left, and worked at other nurseries and guess what? They were pretty much all the same.

I'll have to wait until my/oh parents have retired so they could look after my kids while I work. Or id find a damn good childminder.

Needless to say I gave up my career in day nurseries...wouldnt set foot in one now if you paid me

FBaby

mishkanorman wrote: »

I dont feel guilty about having tax credits top us up, Ive paid into the system and it is now helping us.

This statement is pointless. Most of the taxes you have paid towards will be paid towards your care when you are old and in real need of health and social care.

I can't debate whether there are or are not evening/week-end jobs for you, but I can't help but think that if tax credits were not so easy to get and people really needed that extra money, they would somehow manage much better to find something...