Unreasonable, Me?????

always_poor_2

Hi,

I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not, so would appreciate your comments!!!

DH had a day off work yesterday to take his 2 kids to the cinema and out for lunch. Cost somewhere around £60 I would say.

Today he tells me that he'll be giving me £50 less this month out of his wages as he doesn't have any overtime being paid this month.

Now, we have a pretty tight budget in Always Poor Household, so I will have to economise on our £150 per month food budget (to feed 3) by £50 to get through the month.

It's not that I begrudge him spending time with his kids, but I'd love £50 to spend on a day out as a family with our DD but we juyst don't have it. I work hard, have 2 jobs and I thought we were both committed to sorting our debt problem.

Am I being unreasonable by feeling really annoyed???

globetraveller

Do you have money apart from the food budget? For instance, do you each have personal spend budgets? I would suggest that you economise on that. Its a bit of a shame that during the summer it has to be a cinema outing. What about a park and a packed lunch the next time?

seafarers_wife

heck no, i would be furious!

no idea how to deal with it though especially if finances are tight, can only suggest sitting down and going through the budget with him explaining how that treat to his kids has affected yourselves as a family.

flutterby_lil

I don't think you are being unreasonable. He should have thought about your family budget and what he pays you before he spent the money on lunch and cinema!

I too would have been a bit resentful and upset.

Did he not discuss it with you before he went?

Can he not cut his spending for the rest of the month and still give you what he should?

always_poor_2

Hi, thanks all - he has personal money, not much about £30 a month. I have the same but mine gets spent on DD's clothes, tumble tots, etc. I'm resentful as I feel he waited until after the event to mention that he'd be paying less into the household budget so that I couldn't object to him going x

red_devil

give him less food to eat then.

flutterby_lil

I completely understand, I would be the same.

Does he ever go to the pub for a pint and spend a good few hours there? If he does tell him he can stay at home and give you the money he would have spent to make up for the reduction.

Have to agree with a previous poster who said that given the weather yesterday, why couldn't he have gone to the park with a picnic?

flutterby_lil

lol red devil.

Why can't i say thanks to you, have you set your preferences different?

make_me_wise

I agree with the poster who suggested he could have had a lovely day with his kids at much less expense. Im not sure where you are in relation to the coast but a day on the beach with a picnic costs next to nothing. Even when you cost in parking and an ice cream treat. Or going to a park, heading off for a bike ride. My parents use to drive us to Epping Forest and we would go on an adventure, play hide and seek etc. I am a firm believer that children cost you as much as you want them to. It just takes a bit of imagination.

I dont blame you for feeling a bit peeved at this OP. Think you need to communicate your feelings to your dh and hopefully he will think things through a bit next time.

Kandboys

Beans on toast for him every night then!! As previous posters have said, you can have a really lovely cheap day out for next to nothing. If it has to be the cinema next time, tell him to go to the Vue Kids am viewing as it's only £1.25 per person!! Cineworld also do the cheap tickets I think.

Lotus-eater

always_poor wrote: »

Am I being unreasonable by feeling really annoyed???

No.

Explain he needs to have a good relationship with his kids, but it can't cost so much because you can't afford it.

Is he trying to keep up with the Mum, or impress the kids so they like him better, do you think?