ex suddenly wants to exercise his rights!

FBaby

popadom wrote: »

"Almost Any Man Can Be A Father It Takes Someone Extremely Special To Be A Dad"

If this guy is more of a dad to her, (dosnt flit in and out of her life/upset her ect like her "father") then there maybe a time when the real dad finally walks out and leaves the girl . i think its nice that this other guy will take her on as his own, not many people will do that.

I would totally agree with you in the instance of a biological dad who has completely disappear from the child's life, and a step dad who has been there for years and acted like a dad. In this case, the biological dad is in the picture. It sounds like he wasn't always around, but OP does say that he did see her regularly at some stage and now see her once a month. More importantly, here is a biological dad who WANTS to be more involved. As for the 'other' dad, OP acknowledge that he is a new partner, so who can say what dad he really is. It is easy to be keen to start with, can be quite a different picture after a few year.

A good mum should do everything to encourage the relationship between her child and his/her father if she cares about what is best for her child rather then what is best for her. If despite all her efforts the dad still acts like a loser and show no interest, then fair enough, but all I can read here is a mum who, if she had magic powers would choose to make the dad disappear to replace him with her new partner.

popadom

FBaby wrote: »

I would totally agree with you in the instance of a biological dad who has completely disappear from the child's life, and a step dad who has been there for years and acted like a dad. In this case, the biological dad is in the picture. It sounds like he wasn't always around, but OP does say that he did see her regularly at some stage and now see her once a month. More importantly, here is a biological dad who WANTS to be more involved. As for the 'other' dad, OP acknowledge that he is a new partner, so who can say what dad he really is. It is easy to be keen to start with, can be quite a different picture after a few year.

A good mum should do everything to encourage the relationship between her child and his/her father if she cares about what is best for her child rather then what is best for her. If despite all her efforts the dad still acts like a loser and show no interest, then fair enough, but all I can read here is a mum who, if she had magic powers would choose to make the dad disappear to replace him with her new partner.

The only worry is it seems he comes and goes.My worry would be when he gets bored of playing happy families with his new girlfriend. But youd have to give him a chance to prove himself.If the new partner and op married/lived long term i dont see as big of an issue as the chances are hed stick around, but if its a new realationship, maybe not so wise.

popadom

DitaVonTee wrote: »

Yes he still has to pay child support and has done since the day she was born.


What we have done is, kept every reciept of the money spent fighting to see her, kept all the social services reports, solicitors letters etc So, if by some day she does come knocking (and I feel she may well do as we only live locally) we can show her, that we did try etc it was just made extremely difficult for us. He always remembers her on her birthday and Christmas too without fail whether those cards and presents get to her remains to be seen, but again, every reciept for everything weve purchased over the years for her is contained in a folder along with all the legal paperwork/reciepts pertained to the fight we put up just to see her two hours a week.

I agree that if a father cannot see his children because the mother is making things extremely difficult, they shouldn't have to pay anything. It's wrong.

I think keeping everything is a good idea. If this woman posions her daugther then you can atleast show you tried. It is wrong. If he pays maintance he should be allowed to see his child. If he didnt keep paying i bet all hell would break loose and hed be labled as a bad dad. Part of me would want to tell the woman no, i wont pay, but then the half of me would want the kid to have a decent life-this beats the other option every time.

Its sad when a dad like your husband is a good dad but cant get anyhelp from the law. Its disgusting. I do hope this woman changes her mind and lets access.Any reason why she wont let him see her?

newcook

I think ex should be involved in schooling – if your DD is going to stay overnight she can take her homework and they can do it together. It also helps him see how she is developing with reading and writing etc.

Im kind of torn with ‘daddy’ – with the fact that you and OH haven’t been together long it doesn’t sit right that she is calling him this (how long have you been together?!)
The reason I am torn is because my friends DD calls her boyfriend daddy but they have been together since DD was 6 weeks old (she is 5 now and has always seen her natural dad regularly). At first they did try and encourage her not to (ex didn’t like it) but when my friend and her boyfriend had a child together (she fell pregnant when DD was 8 or 9 weeks old) and DS started talking, DD felt different because DS was being encouraged to say daddy but DD wasn’t so she decided to copy her brother and call him daddy. However, she will tell you quite proudly that she is a very special girl as she has 2 daddys.

DitaVonTee

popadom wrote: »

I think keeping everything is a good idea. If this woman posions her daugther then you can atleast show you tried. It is wrong. If he pays maintance he should be allowed to see his child. If he didnt keep paying i bet all hell would break loose and hed be labled as a bad dad. Part of me would want to tell the woman no, i wont pay, but then the half of me would want the kid to have a decent life-this beats the other option every time.

Its sad when a dad like your husband is a good dad but cant get anyhelp from the law. Its disgusting. I do hope this woman changes her mind and lets access.Any reason why she wont let him see her?

No real reasons were given, it's just she didn't and never has wanted him to be part of their daughters life.:(
All I can say she is everything wrong with certain parts of society today, she hadn't known him long before becoming pregnant (roughly 3 months) living in a flat at the time with her other child, hubby now firmly believes she became pregnant (certain things she'd mentioned etc while she was with him, won't go into detail here) to enable her to get a house, she got that house, once she'd managed that, she did everything she could to erase him from their daughters life.

There isn't a day goes by that he thinks about his daughter, how she's growing up and what ethics and morals she's being raised with, he worries about her, genuine worry. He's never missed any CSA payments, never threatened to stop paying.

Of course his life has no moved on and he still thinks about her, occasionally see's her in town with her mother etc from a distance there's only one real looser in all this at the end of the day and that's their daughter as she has an extended family she don't know but love her very much (hubby, his mother, father & brothers and sisters) she also has brothers and sisters here she's never met or seen which is a great shame

I'm confident hubby's day will come as eventually she is going to want to know her father, that is only a matter of time she's a long time growing up