Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

zagubov

Slightly off-topic (but so's the tightness test anyway), this thread's raised some good MSE points relevant even to at least some NPs I would think
And did any NPs get cheered up by the tune I posted?

zagubov

chewmylegoff wrote: »

Tbf I dont know a huge amount about schools and am mostly operating based on prejudice, but the London state schooling system does appear to be pretty horrendous as a whole, and it seems to me you are effectively forced to pay "school fees" by buying a ludicrously overprice house in the catchment area for a decent school which is still a bit of a lottery as siblings of older children already at the school get priority.

Seems easier just to pay school fees!

But unlike school fees you can resell the house later on!

chewmylegoff

zagubov wrote: »

But unlike school fees you can resell the house later on!

True, unless the catchment area changes or the govt changes the rules. You also can't get back the mortgage interest you paid on the extra £250k you had to borrow!

vivatifosi

zagubov wrote: »

And did any NPs get cheered up by the tune I posted?

Ah, missed it first time. It's bonkers. Whenever I play anything like that for real, I get told by DH to only play one tune at a time. And he's younger than me. Bah Humbug! Still, he's not here at the moment, so I cranked it up:p.

LydiaJ

chewmylegoff wrote: »

Yeah I know, you and Lydia are obviously right, and I've known I need to tackle it head on for some time now. There's never a right time though and in the end I decided to leave it until after NY to avoid ruining Christmas if it all goes horribly wrong! We need to move house early next year so I will talk to her before we start househunting.

That's a very gracious answer. Thank you for not resenting our interference. Choosing your timing so as not to ruin Christmas is an excellent idea. I'm sure lir would agree. We never meant "talk to her within the next 5 minutes"!

Schools are a difficult choice, and it's fascinating how people who seem very similar make totally different choices. Take my brothers and me. We grew up in Bristol and were all sent to independent schools. My eldest brother has sent his to an independent school too. His wife has strong views about the importance of the right peer group for black boys in particular - she's black, my brothers and I are white and my nephews are mixed race (of course). My 2nd brother has a wife who believes very strongly that everyone should go to their local school, so their kids do. Their local secondary is quite rough, so my SIL tells me (and she's taught supply there, so she should know), but she just says it'll be good for her kids to toughen up a bit when they get there. My 3rd brother lives in France and is sending his kid to an international school there, although I think he's planning to return to this country before his son reaches secondary school age. I'm the fourth and final one, and as a single parent working part time I can't possibly afford school fees, so I've spent late-nearly-ex's life insurance money buying a house in the catchment for a really good state school. And yes, there was quite a premium on the house price because of the catchment, but no, I'm not in London, so it's not a as ridiculous as it would be if I were.

misskool

chewmylegoff wrote: »

Tbf I dont know a huge amount about schools and am mostly operating based on prejudice, but the London state schooling system does appear to be pretty horrendous as a whole, and it seems to me you are effectively forced to pay "school fees" by buying a ludicrously overprice house in the catchment area for a decent school which is still a bit of a lottery as siblings of older children already at the school get priority.

Seems easier just to pay school fees!

That assumes you have a child bright enough to fully appreciate having school fees paid for.

Lots of choices to be made for different people. Being in my career means I have 24 months before I'm unemployed again. Short term contracts are not the most conducive for starting a family and HE is changing so much I'm almost never going to get a full time post anywhere. So there is never a right time to start a family much less the wonderful choice of having to find a school catchment area!

Changing the subject, I am 52% tight

chewmylegoff

misskool wrote: »

That assumes you have a child bright enough to fully appreciate having school fees paid for.

It's not really just about whether they're academically gifted. For me it would be more about ensuring that they are in a decent school environment (although some of the oiks you get at expensive private schools are probably just as bad as some kid who thinks he's a gangsta) and had access to a wide range of extracurricular stuff.

Doozergirl

misskool wrote: »

That assumes you have a child bright enough to fully appreciate having school fees paid for.

All children will appreciate a good education.

Fee paying schools aren't all selective, some have excellent facilities for children with learning difficulties. What they do often have is sporting, music and drama facilities etc as well as a broader range of subjects taught which gives children proper opportunity to find what they are good at, feel good about themselves and give them a natural confidence, given the right nurturing environment.

Expectations are higher for everyone and competition does still exist, making children want to strive.

You can find that in state schools but I think in general the aim is to get all children to a certain standard dictated by the National Curriculum; meaning that there are levels of child who might need and get additional help to help them achieve that, and a top level of children who just 'get it' and will succeed no matter what. There is a huge tranche of children in the middle who could do better, or don't get to find what they're good at, who would given the right environment. I think it's those children, if parents can afford it, that get the best value from a paid for education.

michaels

Just out of interest if you had had the choice between good state and independent which would you have chosen?

AS you know despite my DW sharing characteristics with your eldest brother's wife I very strongly agree with brother no 2's wife but luckily we have reached a compromise using your strategy - I guess locally you pay about 20% extra to be be excellent as opposed to above average catchment but you could pay 50% less within 10 miles if you really didn't care but then if you went private you would still have the neighbours to think about.

LydiaJ wrote: »

That's a very gracious answer. Thank you for not resenting our interference. Choosing your timing so as not to ruin Christmas is an excellent idea. I'm sure lir would agree. We never meant "talk to her within the next 5 minutes"!

Schools are a difficult choice, and it's fascinating how people who seem very similar make totally different choices. Take my brothers and me. We grew up in Bristol and were all sent to independent schools. My eldest brother has sent his to an independent school too. His wife has strong views about the importance of the right peer group for black boys in particular - she's black, my brothers and I are white and my nephews are mixed race (of course). My 2nd brother has a wife who believes very strongly that everyone should go to their local school, so their kids do. Their local secondary is quite rough, so my SIL tells me (and she's taught supply there, so she should know), but she just says it'll be good for her kids to toughen up a bit when they get there. My 3rd brother lives in France and is sending his kid to an international school there, although I think he's planning to return to this country before his son reaches secondary school age. I'm the fourth and final one, and as a single parent working part time I can't possibly afford school fees, so I've spent late-nearly-ex's life insurance money buying a house in the catchment for a really good state school. And yes, there was quite a premium on the house price because of the catchment, but no, I'm not in London, so it's not a as ridiculous as it would be if I were.

zagubov

chewmylegoff wrote: »

True, unless the catchment area changes or the govt changes the rules. You also can't get back the mortgage interest you paid on the extra £250k you had to borrow!

Good point although if offset mortgages (your OH will know abojut them being from Oz) are still available you can cut down on the intererst by investing the money saved on school fees in capital repayments IYSWIM.

You'll spot when you go househunting that homes in good schools catchment areas always have a uniform hanging up or a photo of the kids in uniform prominently displayed.

It also pays to be a voter and let the govt (local and national) know where you stand - I take it that all NPs vote regularly? Or is that a dividing issue?