Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

Exocet

2%. Fell down badly on the two for one pizza deal.

Not really.

Generali

JonnyBravo wrote: »

Yep, did it a few days ago. Very similar, I'm 32% tight. Interesting to see Martin is tighter than us..... despite his millions. Fe ckin tightwad.

I got 77%!!!!

RenovationMan

I'm 37% tight. 'A little belt tightening wouldn't hurt', apparently.

chewmylegoff

lostinrates wrote: »

IMO your best bet is to not wait for her to raise it but to say all this to her yourself. at the same age women and men can but don't always feel very differently about this. I have times where however hard I try not to I get very interrested in our options for kids whereas dh still hasn't realised WE are no longer kids

it doesn't have to end in tears playing it by ear and skirting the issues, but its more likely too if she's feeling frustrated and bottled up.

fwiw, my parents simply didn't take me twice a year to visit family, and not did dh visit his family twice a year within europe....your partner/gf may have to gain some perspective on that herself if she wants to buy a house and have kids with YOU.

Yeah I know, you and Lydia are obviously right, and I've known I need to tackle it head on for some time now. There's never a right time though and in the end I decided to leave it until after NY to avoid ruining Christmas if it all goes horribly wrong! We need to move house early next year so I will talk to her before we start househunting.

PasturesNew

chewmylegoff wrote: »

Yeah I know, you and Lydia are obviously right, and I've known I need to tackle it head on for some time now. There's never a right time though and in the end I decided to leave it until after NY to avoid ruining Christmas if it all goes horribly wrong! We need to move house early next year so I will talk to her before we start househunting.

If she's "the one" you'd know by now.... so don't be backed into a corner.... if she walks then you might find she was "the one" and probably still be able to go back and grovel a lot and at least know you've made your mind up.

chewmylegoff

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

While some parents do utterly change their lifestyles, you don't have to change everything.

Of course some things do alter. But it's not essential for everything to be different, honest.

I was 27, and OH 26, when the Snow Frog showed up. Slightly earlier than we wholly intended. Well, entirely unintended.

Small children can be very adaptable. Isaac's sat and coloured pictures in a wide variety of restaurants and pub gardens, and we've dragged him all over the place. He'll happily sleep anywhere, so long as he knows we're within earshot.

We still live in central London, have friends dropping by, etc. You don't have to move to the suburbs and buy a volvo.

It's fine...if you can afford it. I'm likely to ceiling at about £100k in about 2-3 years. On one salary it's going to really be a push to bring up more than one kid because there is no way any child of mine is going through the London state school system - so that means moving significantly further out, or private school (plus you need to save a serious wedge for university).

chewmylegoff

PasturesNew wrote: »

If she's "the one" you'd know by now.... so don't be backed into a corner.... if she walks then you might find she was "the one" and probably still be able to go back and grovel a lot and at least know you've made your mind up.

I don't believe in that "the one" stuff, for me it's more about finding someone who doesn't want to kill me after being left in the same room as me for 10 minutes.

zagubov

57% tight!

The standard of schooling varies from area to area, chewey. Some London boroughs are reknowned for doing it better than others- ask around the other threads. You're West/SW London IIRC so you probably already have an idea.
DD went to good grammar school, DS, more complicated because of ASD- educated outside state sector.

Hence, spending too much time on MSE looking for frugal tips(well at least I'm not wasting money at the sales!)

chewmylegoff

31% tight, although would be more like 0% if I excluded all the tight things I did at university.

chewmylegoff

zagubov wrote: »

57% tight!

The standard of schooling varies from area to area, chewey. Some London boroughs are reknowned for doing it better than others- ask around the other threads. You're West/SW London IIRC so you probably already have an idea.
DD went to good grammar school, DS, more complicated because of ASD- educated outside state sector.

Hence, spending too much time on MSE looking for frugal tips(well at least I'm not wasting money at the sales!)

Tbf I dont know a huge amount about schools and am mostly operating based on prejudice, but the London state schooling system does appear to be pretty horrendous as a whole, and it seems to me you are effectively forced to pay "school fees" by buying a ludicrously overprice house in the catchment area for a decent school which is still a bit of a lottery as siblings of older children already at the school get priority.

Seems easier just to pay school fees!