Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

vivatifosi

I really like Bill Bailey. He's on my must see list, so interesting info thanks jelly.

I went to see Charlie Boorman talk about his exploits travelling round the world on his motorbike last week. Also good fun. He would make a very good dinner guest. I was in the audience with lots of biker blokes so glad I didn't dress up.

Has anyone seen Rumer? I quite fancy catching her in concert.

silvercar

GDB2222 wrote: »

I didn't get that bit about the rear garden. What did your surveyor friend say was wrong? There were no photos of the rear garden in the particulars of sale.

On google street view you can see the back garden from the road behind, there is no house directly behind. The back garden has not been constructed properly and is being partly held up by the inadequate wall and the boarding (and the leylandai) that is supporting the wall. You can see that stretch of houses have all used various, different wall solutions, some better than others.

SingleSue

Davesnave wrote: »

I agree with this. DD2 wasn't very 'robust,' but we realised that we couldn't defend her 24/7. There were times when she just seemed pushed from pillar to post. Teaching her to be politely assertive was the most useful thing we did.

When she walked out of the unruly special needs dept and refused (politely!) to return, something happened. The school suddenly realised that they were not alone in controlling her education and she found new inner confidence.

Of course it wasn't all plain sailing after that, far from it. However, some of those who bullied later became friends, and as she got to know their home circumstances, DD began to understand the reasons behind much earlier aggravation. Bullies are usually victims too.

James was the one of mine who was bullied because he was different but 'normal' if you know what I mean (he has always been a deeper thinker and someone who is quite happy with his own company - at one point they wanted to label him as ASD too until I pointed out that he had a very vivid and orginial imagination). He is also a very gentle soul who abhors violence, so he would not retaliate.

He was also belittled by his teachers because of his dyslexia and basically classed as being slow by them.....it didn't help that his father didn't exactly instil confidence in any of them as he was so controlling and James was also struggling with his young carer role.

Things got so bad in primary school and early high school years that he took to hitting out....but not towards others, towards himself. He would throw himself at walls, punch himself and go into a frenzy of harming himself by throwing himself into objects, floors and walls. It freaked out the school and me and he had to see a counsellor for a while...it was during the later part of this time he came up with the idea for the work which would see him do very well in his creative writing part of the English GCSE - Suicide Diaries (although he didn't actually feel suicidal, he could relate to the feelings felt - although it scared the school the first time he handed in his rough work on it!).

Fast forward a few years and the excellent English teacher he had for his first year of GCSE, gave him confidence in himself, he suddenly realised that he wasn't stupid because of her efforts with working on his dyslexia and that being different was good. He now revels in his differentness (is that a word?), his independent thought and free thinking and is glad he is not a sheeple who believes everything everyone says.

One deputy head he always battled with in his earlier years of high school is now one of his main supporters because she knows that he is open to discussion and that what he has to say has some merit and that give him the chance and he will put 100% into a project. In the last year or so, she has used him to talk to younger students who are battling with their confidence, dyslexia or bullying and he has become a mentor to the younger students. She has also invited him to talk to whole year groups in assembly about his experiences when he was in their year and how he overcame his difficulties and how he accepted how he was different to most other students and how that is not always a bad thing.

After his recent bad result in his philsophy AS level, he was told he could not continue with the subject, he was disappointed but got on with things and chose a different subject to start...within 2 weeks, the teacher and students of his old class were pleading with him to come back, the teacher even went to bat with the head of 6th form because without James and his differentness, the discussions had become boring and samey...James always brought the alternative view (no matter what the alternative view was!) and could see the bigger picture, an arguement from all angles, a skill which the other students have not yet been able to develop and without James in the class, were finding it hard to develop because they all have the same views.

Although the two younger ones have special needs, they haven't really suffered from bullying, with middle son I think it is because he is built like a brick outhouse and a fair few have seen his capacity for violence in primary school and know if he hit them, they probably wouldn't get up again. A few have tried it but middle son never actually realises he is having bullying behaviour directed at him and it then dilutes the effect the bullies want and they give up. With youngest, they all seem to want to cuddle and protect him (especially the girls)...plus with middle son in the year above, they probably don't like to take their chances :rotfl:, middle son is particularly protective of him.

lemonjelly

vivatifosi wrote: »

I really like Bill Bailey. He's on my must see list, so interesting info thanks jelly.

I went to see Charlie Boorman talk about his exploits travelling round the world on his motorbike last week. Also good fun. He would make a very good dinner guest. I was in the audience with lots of biker blokes so glad I didn't dress up.

Has anyone seen Rumer? I quite fancy catching her in concert.

Friends are big fans of Charlie & the long way down/round exploits. Never quite got into it myself.

A friend who generally has impeccable music taste really rates Rumer highly. Only heard 1 track, but I did have my curiosity piqued. As a music lover, I'd say go anyway - may as well check out a live gig to find out. Live is better imo. If you likey, you can then go out & get a cd.

Plus, you deserve a nice night out!:)

lemonjelly

Its national stress awareness day, take a few minutes to read the following tips for a stress free life, I hope you find them useful.

1. Put yourself first - Eat and drink healthily, take regular exercise that you find enjoyable and manage your time effectively.

2. Prioritise your Tasks - Choose your top 3 most urgent tasks each morning and make them your priority. Try and delegate commitments that you don't have time to do yourself.

3. Relax and Unwind - It sounds obvious, but most of us don't do it. Take some time to learn breathing and relaxation exercises - they are proven to be of use in reducing stress and anxiety.

4. Empathise - Think about how your communication to others may be perceived - it's not always the way you intended. Take some time to listen to others.

5. Have some Fun! - Spend a few minutes each day appreciating what you have got and the good things in life. Try and take time out to enjoy yourself.

6. Be aware of your needs - Understand what is expected of you and what is reasonable. Try and take short breaks throughout the day and learn how to say 'no', politely, both at home and at work.

7. Review your Priorities - When you are under pressure or have a lot going on, staying focused can be a challenge. Don't be afraid to ask for help from colleagues or friends to help prioritise urgent, important and non-urgent tasks.

8. Have belief in yourself - The key to stress free living is to accept yourself for who you are. Don't dwell on past mistakes. Work on your own self-belief and confidence.

9. Find out what causes you stress - Take time to try and find out what is worrying you and try to change your behaviour to reduce it.

10. Avoid alcohol, nicotine and caffeine as coping mechanisms - long term these will actually make things worse. For example, caffeine is a stimulant and our body reacts to this with the stress response.

Given t'other place rantings (that I've not updated...sorry), having the above circulated at work feels like they're taking the wee-wee!

StevieJ

Who says the Germans have no sense of humour

Germany's finance ministry hinted that European partners and the International Monetary Fund may withhold the next 8 billion euro aid instalment to Athens, due this month, until after the referendum.
"The tranche has not yet been paid. That is the situation today. How things proceed is yet to be seen. But according to everything we hear from Greece, there is no urgent need for the payout until mid-December, more or less," finance ministry spokesman Martin Kotthaus said.

http://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/France-Germany-demand-Greek-reuters_molt-545467992.html?x=0

Pobby

Bit of a change of topic. Well I am like that. Anyone here knows or likes John Shuttleworth? Mrs. Pobby hates him and hollers at me when I start singing his songs. Me I just belly laugh at his songs but his movie "Southern Softies " was, to me, a let down.

Going to pop up a couple of links. Let me know what you think. Us older members may remember a time on Top of the Pops when he sang Gordon is a Moron.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuxaiaxkLQA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSkCy1MvICM&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8eh72REd_s&feature=related

vivatifosi

StevieJ wrote: »

Who says the Germans have no sense of humour

Sounds pretty reasonable to me. You try to help your neighbour by lending them £100 and knowing in your heart of hearts that you'll probably only see £40-50 of it. Only they go and decide to ask their hard partying family who suggest they borrow the money then stiff you on most of it. Does that sound about right?

On a more serious note one of my relatives once went bankrupt. The circumstances under which it happened were pretty unfortunate (they suddenly fell ill and were never able to recover), but it took them a long time to realise they couldn't live to the same standard for the rest of their life while running up a lot of debt. In the meantime the family lent what probably amounted to thousands, £20 up to a £100 at a time, in order to help. Sooner or later you all realise it all disappears into a black hole and that tough love is the order of the day, whether its at a family level or a country level. The sooner Sarkozy, Merkel and Papandreou realise that the better.

GDB2222

silvercar wrote: »

On google street view you can see the back garden from the road behind, there is no house directly behind. The back garden has not been constructed properly and is being partly held up by the inadequate wall and the boarding (and the leylandai) that is supporting the wall. You can see that stretch of houses have all used various, different wall solutions, some better than others.

Yes, I can see how people could ignore that and hope it will go away.

http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?rlz=1C1CHMB_en-GBGB306GB306&q=WD6+4NB&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=0x487615de4b32301f:0xf2815717648430c2,Borehamwood,+Hertfordshire+WD6+4NB&gl=uk&ei=Y32xToWjJoei8QOGwLirAQ&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CBwQ8gEwAA

It doesn't look as though the garden is just about to collapse into the roadway, but dealing with it properly could be expensive.

tomterm8

vivatifosi wrote: »

Sounds pretty reasonable to me. You try to help your neighbour by lending them £100 and knowing in your heart of hearts that you'll probably only see £40-50 of it. Only they go and decide to ask their hard partying family who suggest they borrow the money then stiff you on most of it. Does that sound about right?
.

Nah, not really. Most of the people lending the money were professional investors, no one lent billions of euro's out of generosity.

I feel a bit like I did when Lehmen bros went bust... if you invest money in a company, there is a risk it can fail.

You make a risk premium on your money because you might lose it. Anyone who thought Greece was risk free... well, that is head shaking stuff. Greece has been in default more than out most of last century.