Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

neverdespairgirl

fc123 wrote: »

I don't get it? Trainee 1 did the Pro bono (and it finished earlier so got to go home @ 6.30) and trainee 2 didn't but had to work longer on cash generating stuff but didn't mind? Which trainee did something wrong and what was it?

Trainee who was asked, "would you like to do X?" and said, "no" was in the wrong. Because theirs is not to question why, theirs is just to do or die.

misskool

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Trainee who was asked, "would you like to do X?" and said, "no" was in the wrong. Because theirs is not to question why, theirs is just to do or die.

Now if I could PhD students like that, it would be great.

Lost my voice and busy at work. the combination is not ideal. Now to see if a weekend rest will clear this stupid viral laryngitis.

Nikkster

Tonight I'm sat (looking at MSE) in a room in a Cambridge College - I'm here as a friend is getting married tomorrow I'm very excited about the day as I just know its going to be amazing.
I'm also trying to figure out how I can end up working here for a while as its so nice (not that my current set-up takes much beating).

fc123

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Trainee who was asked, "would you like to do X?" and said, "no" was in the wrong. Because theirs is not to question why, theirs is just to do or die.

I get it now

Nikkster wrote: »

Tonight I'm sat (looking at MSE) in a room in a Cambridge College - I'm here as a friend is getting married tomorrow I'm very excited about the day as I just know its going to be amazing.
I'm also trying to figure out how I can end up working here for a while as its so nice (not that my current set-up takes much beating).

Just apply and it will go one of 2 ways. You get it or you don't. The bonus being that if you get it, then wow and if you don't, well things just stay as they are for a while. Nothing ventured and all that.....:)

Enjoy the wedding tomo hopefully weather will be good.

Nikkster

fc123 wrote: »

I get it now


Just apply and it will go one of 2 ways. You get it or you don't. The bonus being that if you get it, then wow and if you don't, well things just stay as they are for a while. Nothing ventured and all that.....:)

Enjoy the wedding tomo hopefully weather will be good.

Sounds like a plan

Have a couple of things I need to sort out first...

1. Finish PhD
2. Get myself back into the frame of mind where I would just apply for something regardless of how unlikely it might be - I used to do it so surely its still there for me to rediscover?!

Not sure which will be hardest at the moment!

GDB2222

lostinrates wrote: »

DH is very gentle, and the trainee didn't get a dressing down or a punishment (other than having to work same hours as him) but the thing is...it will be remembered. He's not in a position to yell even if he wanted too, and he never would, but he is asked for feedback.

Curiously enough, I'd much rather have a boss who is not particularly gentle, says it how he sees it, and gets it out of his system. Thinking that you are doing okay, then getting a negative report, is far worse.

lostinrates

GDB2222 wrote: »

Curiously enough, I'd much rather have a boss who is not particularly gentle, says it how he sees it, and gets it out of his system. Thinking that you are doing okay, then getting a negative report, is far worse.

gentle doesn't mean false. He says what he thinks, but he doesn't go read in the face and scream it or refuse to let it die for the rest of the time someone is stuck with him. Trainee can be under little doubt that it goes on a report.....pretty much everything does during that period of time, so the first seat ending can be the only surprise...and for most of them its less bad than they think IME, especially the young ones, who get worried about really silly things. However, turning down work is not a silly thing, including pro bono. The employers have a strong social concsience, and also suggesting they aren't paid enough as trainees (they earn well abouve the national average and are infact are in a firm where they are in the top ten best paid in the City) shows a lack of understanding of their roles to learn everything they can during their two years training...which means doing everything they can, and their luck in being where they are.

lostinrates

remember when we ''did'' misheard lyrics. DH was telling me about some up itself place he went this week which had a track playing saying ''and it feels like Chelsea'' which made him cross because he thought it felt like the City........I said...was it will young..he said..probably. I explained its not chelsea but ''jealousy''.

tomterm8

Seems to me all three individuals were wrong. Your husband was in the wrong because he didn't understand his staff. People, including white people, come from all kinds of cultures. You can't assume that someone will know that "would you like to do X?" means "do X". It simply doesn't to me. My mother was a quaker, and I was brought up to believe people mean exactly what they say. (And I also get irritated if I'm asked if I want more food time after time, because "Yes" always means yes with me, and "No" always means no. ). If you want me to do X, just tell me to do X, and I may or may not do it (OK, I never said I was ideal corporate material).

The original trainee is also in the wrong because he didn't take all available opportunities to learn.

And the other trainee is in the wrong because he saw both his colleague and his boss working late into the night, and didn't volunteer to join them.

michaels

Interesting point re cultural norms TT8. Part of me says part of life is fitting in with the culture you are part of rather than expecting others to understand and fit in with your culture.

MY DW and I often have disagreements over 'what if' conversations - eg if I say 'Yes that person is in the wrong but imagine how you would be feeling if your close relative was suffering from x' she translates as me wishing x on to her relative. Any example I give is seen as likely to make whatever it is happen. Does anyone else see it that way?