Benbenandme's Next Installment ...

chevalier

benbenandme wrote: »

Ds asked for a cuddle tonight (very, very unusual), and he said "Can we still have cuddles even when I'm bigger?" and I said "yep, we can always have cuddles even when you're a big grown-up like daddy" and he said "I don't have a daddy anymore" :eek: I said "Of course you do, he'll always be your daddy and he always loves you, but he made a wrong choice and has to go away to do the consequence" and he said "I know that Mummy, but he's not my daddy anymore"

At least its some kind of a reaction I guess

Aw sorry to hear him say that. But the thing is if he thinks of it like that then he is protecting himself from having to feel anything about it. If he did feel like he still has a dad, then he would have to deal with the hurt, sorrow etc. So don't be surprised if this is just the lul before the storm

:eek::eek:to what the grand dad said. I am sure it wa sjust nerves that made him see so abrupt. But another stress you don't need.


Good luck with keeping it all together
chev

benbenandme

The ebay stuff finished on £55 :j :j add on the £4 from the bin the other day and thats a total of £59 with a few bits on bin still. So ds gets £20 towards his Hornby and I get £39 towards the holiday fund :T :T

Buffythedebtslayer

I am glad things are going well with your boy. bet you are relieved this bit is over at least, sorry I missed it all.

You do so well on e bay - am jealous!

hope the week goes well xxxx

benbenandme

Aaagghhh!!!! 2 more phone calls from ex's parents :mad: :mad: Wanting to know if I had told ds (they didn't agree that I should), how he took it etc ... then he has the nerve to say "Well we're all worried about ds, especially ex, but its just one of those things really isn't it" :eek: :eek: and that was it ... I lost it .... NO!!! ITS NOT "ONE OF THOSE THINGS!!" ITS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING AND ITS A SHAME HE WASN'T QUITE SO WORRIED ABOUT DS BEFORE HE NICKED £23K!!!

So, he's now been told not to call me (he said he'd call again in a couple of days to see how ds is), I will call them when I am ready, I don't want lots of contact and please leave us in peace

Buffythedebtslayer

Just one of those things? Are they nuts?

He has a son and his actions mean he can no longer see him. That is not one of those things. that is a !!!!ing choice HE MADE.

I would have told them bog right off too Benben. talk about different values.

xxx

dangers

Did you ask them how you were to explain his dads disappearance otherwise? Honestly, some people don't think straight, do they?

benbenandme

They think I should just say he's working away or on holiday ... I told them that the educational psychologist had told me this would be the worst thing I could do but they think they know best :cool: They don't esem to get that their advice is not needed or wanted. Maybe they should concentrate on how they brought up their own children before telling me how to do mine

Triciaxx

benbenandme wrote: »

Aaagghhh!!!! 2 more phone calls from ex's parents :mad: :mad: Wanting to know if I had told ds (they didn't agree that I should), how he took it etc ... then he has the nerve to say "Well we're all worried about ds, especially ex, but its just one of those things really isn't it" :eek: :eek: and that was it ... I lost it .... NO!!! ITS NOT "ONE OF THOSE THINGS!!" ITS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING AND ITS A SHAME HE WASN'T QUITE SO WORRIED ABOUT DS BEFORE HE NICKED £23K!!!

So, he's now been told not to call me (he said he'd call again in a couple of days to see how ds is), I will call them when I am ready, I don't want lots of contact and please leave us in peace

That's not losing it - it's telling it is like it is. Log these calls and tell the ed psychologist so you have back up if it comes up later. You could email the psychologist if you don't want to talk.

benbenandme

Evening all, another busy day here ... after school I went and posted 10 of the ebay parcels, 2 more to go tomorrow and one more who still hasn't paid yet.

Then we went to a kickboxing lesson, a teacher from school has started classes at the local leisure centre so we went along to see. Ds seemed to enjoy it, not sure whether it will be more popular than the skiing option but its another thing to consider

Tonight I've been looking at a bet and have found £90 in an account that I haven't used for a while, so hopefully when I check the finances later in the month I may find its extra that has been overlooked somewhere, and can be chucked into the holiday fund

Ds has gone to sleep in my bed tonight, he didn't want to go in his room on his own I didn't see his teacher tonight but am assuming everything went okay at school as I thought they would have told me if there were any issues.

Spends today = £1.40 on a drink for ds after kickboxing, £2 on some brown paper.

benbenandme

Scrap that last bit, I just checked and I did some bets there last week, so thats where the money has come from, really must keep a closer eye on what I'm doing