Benbenandme's Next Installment ...

Smart_Mart

Popping my head above the parapet, being a bloke and all that...

Firstly, I'd suggest the guilty plea sounds like the last move of a control freak - if he'd waited until the judge/jury decided, it would have been out of his control.

Secondly, I'd agree with whoever said to write everything down. It was a valuable piece of advice for me once upon a time.

Thirdly, is there any way somebody neutral could go with you tomorrow? Only I can see him making out you were saying stuff you weren't if you two were to meet alone... if you see what I mean.

Fourthly, good luck. You're a great mum to that lad and never forget it.

Take care

Martin

benbenandme

Pinklady; because he irritated me today and I can't be doing anymore with men that mess me about

Smartmart; thankyou, I did think about taking someone with me but decided to meet in a public place instead. If he does decide to make out I said stuff that I didn't well then I'll tell the truth, and lets face it, I'm not the one with a conviction and therefore a liar

So, after not much sleep again last night I'm up and wide awake, my stomach is in knots wondering what bombshells he may drop today :cool: So far he has told me it all started about a year before he left me, so god knows what memories I have are about to get shattered yet again as a different version of our relationship comes to light

I will report back later, have a good day everyone. Oh, other news for yesterday, spends were £4.20 on some chips we ate for lunch at the harbour, and £12 on a top that was delivered from the Next sale that I love

hypno06

I missed the news both here and on fb yesterday - how crap am I!!?!?!

Anyway, glad that things are going to start getting sorted - yes, there is still fighting and uncertainty, and yes, things are bound to get worse, and potentially more muddled before they get better and clearer, but it is happening.

I would, however, urge you to have someone with you today. Someone as neutral as can be - regardless of whether he has already been proved to be a liar, you really cannot afford to take chances at this stage, and presumably his solicitor/probation officer etc etc etc will all be working on the "wants to be a good father" element....so it is more than just his word against yours if anything blows up from this.

good luck today, however you choose to play it.

Keeping_Motivated

Benben perhaps you could set the voice recorder on your phone if you don't want to tAke anyone with you. Good luck

girlatplay

Benben I think I have caught up on what has happened. That's great that he pleaded guilty! Hopefully you will be able to put that part behind you now.

Regarding the access, mine is a completely different situation from yours but it still comes down to the same thing - people lie. I had no idea just how much people could lie until Little Miss Gap's dad and I split up. He told his lawyer so many lies about me and I just couldn't believe it. I knew it was all nonsense but really, who do you believe when it is one person's word against anothers. I knew I was telling the truth but no one else did (well actually, I have amazing family and friends and they knew I was telling the truth). My advice would be stand your ground, fight all the way to the end and document EVERTHING - with dates! It would have been better if you could have taken someone with you today but I realise that that is not always as easy as it seems to others. Just make sure you write down as much as you remember about your conversation. Also, just make sure you tell the truth at all times, even if it's not great. If you haven't lied, you won't slip up and you will have a clear conscience (I'm not suggesting that you would lie )

Good luck! I hope everything works out the way you want. I am glued to your diary now

Gap x

Daisy78

Belated birthday wishes. Hope today has gone better than you thought it would. Big hugs x

benbenandme

Well .... today went a million times better than I could ever have expected ... we managed to talk for nearly 3 hours, he was very open and answered all questions in a lot of detail; it was the best conversation we've had since we were together The upshot of it all is that he has told me exactly what he did and why, what he plans to do next etc etc. We talked about ds a lot and how this affects him, and we have agreed to try to repair our parenting relationship. I came away pleasantly surprised and hopeful that we can now slowly somehow begin to rebuild things re. ds

We have agreed for him to have ds on monday, but not overnight at his, and he's okay with that. We also agreed to meet again at some point in the next fortnight to build on things. We'll see how it goes but overall I am feeling quite settled about stuff again tonight so am quite happy.

gilligansyle

Hi Benben
sorry I missed this too! Glad you seem to have been able to have an amicable, adult conversation. It is important that you sort access arrangements out, and I can understand that you don't want him to have more access than he currently does, but it is at least a way forward. Maybe he's finally grown up!

LouiseJ

Haven't been around much lately but didnt want to read and run.

I am really pleased that today went better than expected perhaps he is starting to realise the damage he has caused?

Alisonpennypincher

Great news BB, Have been eagerly awaiting news today - in the hope that it was positive.

I still think it might be an idea to document as much as you can...just in case, it never hurts to have backup!

Hope it slightly cooler where you are at the seaside than it is in land. As we are about as far as you can get from the coast in any direction the humidity here today has been unbearable, the sort of weather that makes you feel ill just moving from one room to another. They have forecast rain for tomorrow though so fingers crossed!