Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

Snaggles

Hi Stormybay, it must have been hard for you to take the valentines card to the cemetary, but it was a lovely thing for you to do. Your children sound so lovely.

I agree that the loss of a child must be the worst thing that can possibly happen, I would have no idea what to say to someone in that position. You handled it really well.

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Edit - sorry, nearlyrich beat me to it!

Dumyat

hi everyone.
glad to see you are all holding strong despite everything xx

jbatista

Hi Stormy and everyone else here on this forum, I have followed this thread since only knows when and I just want to say how humbled I feel to be able to read your thoughts and your feelings. I thought I was having it hard at Christmas when my husband was rushed into hospital suddenly - 47yrs old with kidney failure, he is thankfully over the worst and back home with me and our 4 boys. Its taken me a while to pluck up the courage to post here but now I have I want to say that I am thinking of you all. your all so courageous. Take care all of you and hugs and kisses on this dificult day.

AnW'sMum

Stormybay wrote:

Anyway, we have all survived the day and I had a lovely bunch of Roses off my eldest daughter and my son has just told me that all my children are taking me out for a meal (all paid for by them) on saturday night. How wonderful is that.

You said it they are the best medicine in the world, I hope you have a great time on Saturday.

There is a little boy near Ian who died 2 weeks short of his first birthday and like you say I cannot begin to imagine how his parents feel, to think that I feel cheated doesn't really compare.

Welcome jbatista it must have been a very scarey time for you but I am glad your hubby is back home. These sort of events really make you think about what life is all about.

Pull up a chair, have a glass of wine and a piece of cake (can't say how much longer it will last!)

Well done everyone on getting through the day, tomorrow we all take another step forward.

hugs to you all, night night

xxx

twink

oooh cake, i tried it in my breadmaker but it was only fit for the birds so i will join the gang coming over to you AnWsmum
jbatista glad dh is home and feeling better, everyone is welcome on here
stormy and everyone your children will be a great source of comfort and pride to you, enjoy your meal on saturday night, hugs to all xx

jbatista

Hi just dropping in to check all are ok?? This thread is so uplifting especially when I am feeling glum and gloomy, makes me cherish what I have even more. You are all an inspiration to me, wish I could hug you all. It will have to be a virtual one.:grouphug:
Take care ladies.

Stormybay

Hi there all and welcome to jbatista, it's lovely that you have joined us, I'm so glad your hubby is well now and at home. Don't forget to give him a BIG KISS.
I had a difficult day at work, I had to dismiss someone for gross misconduct and it was so awful as it wasn't personal, just that the guy didn't really have a clue that going on sex websites on the work internet in work time was not really on!!!
Anyhow, the positive thing I have done today is for the first time ever, I have done my grocery shopping on line..............I thought it would mean that I can spend more time at home with the children. I've probably spent quite a lot, but it's my first time, so I've forgiven myself.
I'm so pleased we have passed the ole Valentines Day without incident.
Off to bed now, as usual, I'm tired,especially after all that shopping...lol
Stormy
xxxxx

sarymclary

Stormybay wrote:

I thought to myself, there but the grace of God go I. I don't think there is anything worse than loosing a child

Hello again,

Well done Stormy for getting through another 'first'. I must say you're braver than I am, I find it so hard to visit the graveside of my DH, and then I feel guilty for not going. The children 'pop' by to see him regularly on their way to the village shop for sweets, or when they go to call for friends and say hello, or just have a quick chat. I feel DH is always with me though, so I chat to him whenever I feel the need, much like many of you.

Stormy's recount of seeing that poor lady at the cemetary made me think of a poor family I know, who's son committed suicide just over 2 weeks ago. He was only 16, and shot himself with one of his dad's guns (dad is a farmer, but they were locked away). It was all premeditated, and he was the most unlikely of kids to do it too. My eldest son is in the same class as the lad's younger brother (14), and we've all known each other since infants school. It's a close knit community round here, and the grammar school closed for the afternoon of the funeral and laid on a bus service to ferry any children wanting to attend back and forth. My eldest attended, and said it was very difficult because it didn't feel right to be at the funeral of someone so young. I was more worried that it might bring back memories of his dad's funeral, but it seems he felt OK about things.

Things like this happen and it does make you take stock, and to be grateful of what you still have. My neice died at 2 months, and I've never forgotten the sight of a tiny child's coffin - it's just wrong. I've made it quite clear to all my boys that there is nothing so bad that it can't be sorted out. No one is quite sure of the reasons for this boy's suicide, but a mutual friend of mine spoke to the father, and without going into details said that the note left by the boy contained an explanation, but there was nothing that they couldn't have helped him to sort out. I suppose life just seemed too difficult to cope with, but how awful to have to carry on afterwards as a parent, or sibling, for that matter.

So, I continue to try to see the positives in my own life, despite having some knocks along the way, and appreciate what I do have now. Losing a loved one means that life as we knew it has gone, but there is still a different kind of life ahead of us; it's just up to each of us to try to find the positives in it once again.

Stormy, you have a marvellous family around you, which I know you are terribly grateful for. I hope you have a lovely meal at the weekend. I'm off up to visit my children's godmother for the half term next week, and to look after my goddaughter for a day or two while she gets back out to work again, so a sort of busman's holiday for me!

Keeping a regular eye on this thread, despite not posting, and wishing all those who are dealing with not so good times best wishes and the strength to come through it. I'm almost 3 years down the line now, and I don't feel guilty when I laugh anymore, especially as DH loved to laugh anyway, so I doubt he'd begrudge me TBH. My life is moving on, which I didn't imagine it could at the time, but despite feeling like it ground to a halt when DH died, my world did start to turn again after a while. None of us are responsible for having lost our loved one, but our loved one is responsible for all the love they left behind in our hearts, which I for one am very grateful for.

Stay strong, warmest wishes and hugs to all who need them.

miggy

Hi Stormybay, sorry to hear about work... not an easy situation. We just have to hope he's learned his lesson and won't risk another job for the same thing.
I have wondered about shopping on line. It seems more expensive but then it's more expensive if I take the children with me, so maybe one cancels out the other. You won't get end-of-day discounts but on the other hand some special offers are Internet exclusives. I hope it does give you more time with the children.

anniestar

Hi friends, hope you are all safe and warm. Just a very quick hello, have a lovely evening and stay warm HUGE ((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))) to ALL. Speak soon Annie.XXXXXX