Turnips and Truffles

boredofbeingathome

Just because they make me laugh and i hope to put a smile on a few faces today.:D

I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition:

"A figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."

"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list..

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

boredofbeingathome

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'A DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

boredofbeingathome

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

boredofbeingathome

23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be and it never was.

25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Adding a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila helps too.

30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.


Words of Wisdom
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
~ Jon Hammond

GunJack

:wave: @ bob hope you haven't got a hangover 'smorning

catch ya later

boredofbeingathome

GunJack wrote: »

:wave: @ bob hope you haven't got a hangover 'smorning

catch ya later

I am one of those folk who never get hangovers GJ- not even in the days when i could put it away with the best of them. Don't know why that is but it was a blessing on the rare occasions when we went out and one of us had to get up with the children...or maybe it wasn't a blessing but at least i never flinched when ds used to put his siren car on full blast:D:rotfl:

boredofbeingathome

A pretty productive day today.

Cleared the washing just have to iron and put away.

I did a bit of gardening but it became too hot, so went and sat in neighbours garden with a convivial cool drink.:D:beer:

Came back and shredded the paperwork..need to get back to shredding myself though, as in the dreaded shred:D:eek:

Checked banking and all okish there. Mr.B's paperwork came for the new bank account and unfortunately they won't match his overdraft- which i didn't think they would. So having a play with the snowball to see the best way to approach it all. Theoretically his debt can be cleared in two years even quicker if he gets bonuses and such. He has no room for a card shuffle, but has some shares he can cash in. It would be a great motivator to get this overdraft cleared and save interest charges as well. I need to have a think and put ideas to him..he can then decide.:D

Lovely tea from freezer, salmon fillets and veg some of which from the garden-well the green beans are.

That is about it- looking forward to a nice walk now it is become cooler.

boredofbeingathome

Monday dawns and it has been another busy day.

Tutoring most of the day brings in some welcome dosh- i also did a skills swap, as one music tutor will tutor DD2 whilst i tutor her daughter:D:money::money:

No spends today which is even better:D
Have been busy form filling in and have sent off letters for Mr.B.

So all moving forwards.

mark55man

well done bob

not quite so productive as you - but got the garden started, sorted out some techie stuff at home, worked out the my mobile straetgy for the kids and looked at winding a part time line of work that was going nowhere

well done on tutoring sounds like you are well up on the day

boredofbeingathome

Progress is progress Mark- the garden is one of those things that is always a work in progress

The tutoring has just evolved really i am surprised by how much it has taken off- word is spreading and i haven't had to advertise




Just thinking about you yesterday as we talked about the punk festival. Do you have any plans this year?
Edit to say it is GJ i think who went to Punk festival.