A difficult situation

rachbc

The rules about informal fostering only apply if the child being cared for is not a close relative. In terms of custody then yes the will take the childs best interest as the main concern - but the immediate best interests need ot be balanced by the longer term interests of knowing her mum and having a chance to build a relationship. I imagine if the courts became involved they would suggest starting with writing letter, building up to visits etc to re establish a relationship between the child and mother so maybe your cousin could start with this. Also she should keep copies of letters as proof that she has attempted contact.

Sambucus_Nigra

ceridwen wrote: »

Which would seem to be the aunt from what OP says.

Wow. That's low. So from one line you deduce this?

Susan_Frost

Are you saying that the Grandmother has cut contact since the mum asked for the child back, or that she has never let mum have contact with the child.

Whatever - I cannot envisage a situation where the child would never be allowed to be with its mother just because they were apart for the first 3 yrs of it's life.

However, others will be more expert in how it should be handled.

Hope all goes well eventually

Zoetoes

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Wow. That's low. So from one line you deduce this?

I was thinking yeah what a great aunt looking after the baby and bringing her up but not so great that she did it by force and kept her from her mother, so is it in the best interests of the child?

ceridwen

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Wow. That's low. So from one line you deduce this?

I know you like rubbishing my posts (considering how often you seem to do so) - but where does it state that this child has ever seen the mother again since she was born? As far as we can see - this child has every reason to believe that the aunt is her mother.

So - unless OP comes back and tells us that the child HAS regularly seen the mother/knows that she is her mother/obviously wants to go back to her mother - then we have to presume otherwise.

I am stating the obvious - the childs welfare is the primary concern.

I would imagine that the aunt saw good cause for concern re the childs welfare in the first place to have taken over like this - ie besides the fact that, as I recall, the mother was only 16 at the time (ie too young to be a mother). For all we know - the mother was "up to all sorts" and the aunt didnt want to see this having an effect on the child. We havent been told what sort of lifestyle the mother was living at the time....

ceebeeby

How sad for all involved - a lot of confusing things going on in that family.

I agree with posters above, either CAB or solicitor or social services may be able to assist. However as the arrangement was always "informal" at best, I wonder if your cousin could write to your aunt explaining why she would now like to gradually take on more responsibility with whatever proposal that is (start once a week, then weekends, holidays etc.). I dont' think your cousin could reasonably expect the aunt to simply hand over the child without a backwards glance - that wouldn't be fair to the child or the aunt.

Who claims the child benefit?

newcook

do we know how old the child is?

pinksleepybear

I was wondering if Auntie has told the child that she is the mother, not grandmother and that's why she's refusing to let bio mum have any contact with child.

Gavin83

ceridwen wrote: »

I know you like rubbishing my posts (considering how often you seem to do so) - but where does it state that this child has ever seen the mother again since she was born? As far as we can see - this child has every reason to believe that the aunt is her mother.

So - unless OP comes back and tells us that the child HAS regularly seen the mother/knows that she is her mother/obviously wants to go back to her mother - then we have to presume otherwise.

I am stating the obvious - the childs welfare is the primary concern.

I would imagine that the aunt saw good cause for concern re the childs welfare in the first place to have taken over like this - ie besides the fact that, as I recall, the mother was only 16 at the time (ie too young to be a mother). For all we know - the mother was "up to all sorts" and the aunt didnt want to see this having an effect on the child. We havent been told what sort of lifestyle the mother was living at the time....

I really don't think thats the aunts decision to make. Ideally the mother should have gone down the appropriate routes at the time as Im fairly sure it must be illegal to deny a parent access to their own children, but I still don't think it's too late.

The aunt quite simply isn't going to give the child up. She may possibly allow access but even thats questionable. I really think if the mother wants the child back she should be contacting the appropriate authorities to get her child back but she may want to have a pretty watertight excuse as to why she hasn't done this already.

paddy's_mum

Can a woman, in effect, take 'ownership' of someone else's child even if she is its grandmother?

Something really doesn't smell right to me.