I need a bit of help; I'm completely stuck

pebbles88

lostandworried wrote: »

I really, really want to learn to drive after I leave uni so I can help my mum a bit, so being in debt wont help.

lostandworried wrote: »

I've not really got the option of staying in halls again. I did it in 1st year, was bullied all year, the ceiling had a crack in it, the pipework was exposed in the bathroom and I had dried vomit stuck to my wall. Trust me, I would not ever stay there again. Not in a million years - I would rather drop out.

Plus, they will only offer certain rooms to people who aren't in first year - I'm away into my third. It would also be taking a step backward independence wise as my doctor, mum and pyschiatrist would like me to try living with friends as opposed to living in a halls/supported accomodation style situation.

It's not much of a choice to stay where I am - I need a) to be with someone I know so they can support me, and b) to be within my doctor's boundary - she's asked me to do that so they can carry on helping me sort my mental health out. Hence why I am staying where I am next year.

with respect, regardless of what the others think, your GP, your Mum & your Psychiatrist, unless they are going to help fund you, your options will be limited to what income you have.

by staying put to ensure that you continue to receive the help you are getting, you may be setting yourself up for more hardship by worrying how you will fund everything, which will in turn make your mental health issues a lot worse... catch 22 situation.

I don't know what health facilities are in your home area - or even if you could go home. but is it worth looking at? I know your course is important to you, but will it be worth all the extra stress & worry you are having now?

And I know about the driving, I probably need to ask my GP that too - have never tried it though so not sure. More than likely won't be able to though

This has alarm bells ringing! surely the subject will have come up at one point if you are as keen to learn as you said you are initially? either brought up by you or your GP?

netty179a

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

You can only claim ESA as a full time student if you are in receipt of DLA

This is incorrect, I am a full time student and receive ESA but not DLA.

However before anyone goes off complaining I am a mature 44 year old student who is recieving maximum LOANS and maintainance grant (which is not that much!) This all just covers my bills and rent leaving me with very little for food and a minimal social life 2 hours in the local once a month!!! I had a part time job to support myself and used my savings as a back up.
I have worked every day since leaving school, sometimes even doing 2 or 3 jobsto support myself. However in my second year I now find myself in the position of not being able to work due to slipped discs and osteoarthritis in my lower spine which believe you me is very painful!
The ESA helps me to cover my day to day living costs and covers transport. I don't intend to be on this forever however for now it is actually a great help.
And I will now step off my soap box haha xxx

bunny999

OP - what career are you hoping to pursue ?

lostandworried

OK...

Have had a good sleep and feeling a bit more refreshed.

Based on what a few of you have said, and a few chats with my mum, what I'm going to do is:

- Make an appointment with my disability advisor at Uni just to check I am getting the correct student loans and stuff, and if there's a better way of budgeting. I need, I think, to work out what all my incomings and outgoings are, and see if there's something I can change. I maybe need to plan exactly what I will buy, and not go over that. Meals out, nights out, and days out will have to become a thing of the past!

- Make an appointment with my GP just to talk things over, there is a lot (i.e. driving) that has never been discussed and she might be able to help me with things too. On top of that, I need to ask her things about DLA as it is. But I have been warned by *lots* of people that I probably can't drive - I'm just a bit stubborn

- Look into the rent - it's not owned by my friend, but by a private company who rent solely to students. It's high because it includes full furnishings (washing machine, dishwasher, bath), an intercom system, somebody cleaning every so often and all the essential bills are included too. I think anything else would work out the same after I paid my bills. Changing flat now, isn't realistically an option however it may be next year and that's something to look into. I know, it would be easier, and fairer if I could just change but... (and yes, I know that looks like I just want the fancy flat with my friends but seriously, that isnt the case)

- I've got a copy of two DLA forms and I'll see if Mum and I can do a draft one, see how we get on. My mum did once apply for me before, a long long time ago but it was refused - however it was done solely on the grounds of dyspraxia. Will see. Will maybe give the helpline for benefits a buzz. My mum certainly has a good understanding of what to do for these things, lot of practice at filling in DLA forms

- My mum has also said she will see if she can help me a bit, money wise - like by buying less food or something, and transferring that money to me. It is them I help, yes, quite a bit at the moment because noone else helps really. But we have just got a new social worker who was quite concerned about everything and thinks she can get someone into help - home is a bit of a mess really, without going into details. Not messy as in dirty, messy as in my mum is quite ill (uncontrolled, undiagnosed tonic clonic seizures) and trying to care for sister who's quite severely autistic and volatile - bites, punches, throws plates at mum etc. And dad is awkward as he only contacts by emailing me randomly, but they're like abusive emails and they've given me nightmares before, not nice.

- Stick in with new medication, hope home gets better, with a view to actually being able to get a part time job in the future to better support myself.

In the future I want to be a social worker, of all things. Because, I know what it's like to have family problems and I also know how frustrating it is when no-one wants to help you (meaing social workers and GPs) and I would like to make sure that other people don't have to go through the same things that my family have. It's a long road to getting that career though, I'm doing a degree in English literature right now (started off with primary teaching and then had to give up that up as I couldn't cope with the pressure and workload), then I'm going to try and do a postgrad in social work. If I do the postgrad, I would hope that by that point I would be able to work part time, I'd be more mature and able to cope by then and I'd really like to hope it would go alright. That's two years off though, as I'm only just entering 3rd year. Might even take a gap year and work for the year first - get a bit more money and experience.

Never did I think I would make it to uni though, as a child my ambition was to be a nursery nurse, go to college for a year and then spend my time looking after kids, thought that was all I could manage!

babymoo

Credit-Crunched wrote: »

And where does EMA come from, taxc payers, student loans are not dependent on financial situations etc so your argument about qualifying status is null and void

Yes EMA comes from the government but unfortunately not everyone is capable of studying full time and working to support themselves and they HAVE to live on something.

I have absolutely no idea how a student loan works as Ive never needed one so I don't really have any argument on that and never once said I did.

bunny999 wrote: »

I have diabetes, high blood pressure, knackered knees, a fibroid the size of melon, work full time (for over 30 years) and have never claimed a penny in benefits. I do have sympathy for those who can't work but I feel our benefits system is allowing people to take the !!!!. Why are there so many more sick and disabled people than there were 30 years ago ? I have no respect for those who have no self respect.

Maybe people are no longer afraid of being disabled and sick where as 30 years ago if you weren't perfectly abled you were a leper? I have no idea, I wasn't around 30 years ago.

Yes our benefits system does take the pi55, there is no denying that. If you are genuinely ill you have to jump through god only knows how many hoops to get any help what so ever. I am a big believer in that if you are ill you talk about the positive things you can do which makes it harder to claim anything as you try to forget everything you cant do, I know I do this.

If you are a lazy bum who cant be arsed to work then you will only ever talk about the bad and therefore the powers that be assume your as ill as you say you are.

I personally don't mind the yearly medicals and having to prove that I am ill, as stressful as they are I know I have nothing to hide and everything I say is always backed up. I hate that I live on benefits and can't afford to and am unable to go out with my mates every weekend and go on swanky holidays with them but thats a fact of life but at the same time i'm getting fed up of hearing that everyone on a disability benefit is taking the pi55, my benefits pay everything and luckily I still live with my mum so I dont need to claim housing benefit, I could claim council tax benefit because of my DLA but having done this in the past for the £2 they would knock off a month it is more trouble than it is worth. I don't have many luxuries but the few that I do have I relish in as they are very few and far between!!

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

According to the Aberdeen University website there are Halls available from £70 a week. According to the Rightmove website there are 2 bed flats available for less than £600 pcm.

You seem to be making things more difficult for yourself by choosing to live in more expensive accommodation.

Perhaps OP doesnt actually have the ability to understand this? Sorry no disrespect OP but if your dyspraxia is as bad as you say then you probably aren't aware that your life could be a lot easier and maybe you need a friend who doesnt just want your rent money to help you out to show you how to do things or indeed a social worker/care worker or the CAB?

I totally understand that due to your illness you have to live with someone you trust and who knows you and how to deal with your illness, ive been like that since I was 17 but perhaps the amount they are asking is a little too much, i'd expect to pay what theyre asking for a flat of my own, not a room in a house.

babymoo

lostandworried wrote: »

OK...

Have had a good sleep and feeling a bit more refreshed.

Based on what a few of you have said, and a few chats with my mum, what I'm going to do is:

- Make an appointment with my disability advisor at Uni just to check I am getting the correct student loans and stuff, and if there's a better way of budgeting. I need, I think, to work out what all my incomings and outgoings are, and see if there's something I can change. I maybe need to plan exactly what I will buy, and not go over that. Meals out, nights out, and days out will have to become a thing of the past!

- Make an appointment with my GP just to talk things over, there is a lot (i.e. driving) that has never been discussed and she might be able to help me with things too. On top of that, I need to ask her things about DLA as it is. But I have been warned by *lots* of people that I probably can't drive - I'm just a bit stubborn

- Look into the rent - it's not owned by my friend, but by a private company who rent solely to students. It's high because it includes full furnishings (washing machine, dishwasher, bath), an intercom system, somebody cleaning every so often and all the essential bills are included too. I think anything else would work out the same after I paid my bills. Changing flat now, isn't realistically an option however it may be next year and that's something to look into. I know, it would be easier, and fairer if I could just change but... (and yes, I know that looks like I just want the fancy flat with my friends but seriously, that isnt the case)

- I've got a copy of two DLA forms and I'll see if Mum and I can do a draft one, see how we get on. My mum did once apply for me before, a long long time ago but it was refused - however it was done solely on the grounds of dyspraxia. Will see. Will maybe give the helpline for benefits a buzz. My mum certainly has a good understanding of what to do for these things, lot of practice at filling in DLA forms

- My mum has also said she will see if she can help me a bit, money wise - like by buying less food or something, and transferring that money to me. It is them I help, yes, quite a bit at the moment because noone else helps really. But we have just got a new social worker who was quite concerned about everything and thinks she can get someone into help - home is a bit of a mess really, without going into details. Not messy as in dirty, messy as in my mum is quite ill (uncontrolled, undiagnosed tonic clonic seizures) and trying to care for sister who's quite severely autistic and volatile - bites, punches, throws plates at mum etc. And dad is awkward as he only contacts by emailing me randomly, but they're like abusive emails and they've given me nightmares before, not nice.

- Stick in with new medication, hope home gets better, with a view to actually being able to get a part time job in the future to better support myself.

In the future I want to be a social worker, of all things. Because, I know what it's like to have family problems and I also know how frustrating it is when no-one wants to help you (meaing social workers and GPs) and I would like to make sure that other people don't have to go through the same things that my family have. It's a long road to getting that career though, I'm doing a degree in English literature right now (started off with primary teaching and then had to give up that up as I couldn't cope with the pressure and workload), then I'm going to try and do a postgrad in social work. If I do the postgrad, I would hope that by that point I would be able to work part time, I'd be more mature and able to cope by then and I'd really like to hope it would go alright. That's two years off though, as I'm only just entering 3rd year. Might even take a gap year and work for the year first - get a bit more money and experience.

Never did I think I would make it to uni though, as a child my ambition was to be a nursery nurse, go to college for a year and then spend my time looking after kids, thought that was all I could manage!

For everything you have been through and despite the fact that you may be making things hard for yourself, maybe not only you are in that situation, you should be damn proud of yourself for not giving up and "accepting" that you "can't do anything" and actually wanting to better yourself and to go somewhere in life despite the knowledge that it will be more difficult for you to go into your chosen career than most.

I wish you all the luck in the world

RAS

Have you ever applied for a disabled student grant? If not you really should get hold of your University Student Disability Advisor and Student Finance people urgently and find out what help you can get? It sounds like you should be eligible for something?

Oldernotwiser

lostandworried wrote: »

In the future I want to be a social worker, of all things. Because, I know what it's like to have family problems and I also know how frustrating it is when no-one wants to help you (meaing social workers and GPs) and I would like to make sure that other people don't have to go through the same things that my family have. It's a long road to getting that career though, I'm doing a degree in English literature right now (started off with primary teaching and then had to give up that up as I couldn't cope with the pressure and workload), then I'm going to try and do a postgrad in social work. If I do the postgrad, I would hope that by that point I would be able to work part time, I'd be more mature and able to cope by then and I'd really like to hope it would go alright. That's two years off though, as I'm only just entering 3rd year. Might even take a gap year and work for the year first - get a bit more money and experience.

Congratulations on having some positive thoughts on how you're going to approach your situation.

I feel bad having to say something negative but it would be remiss of me not to. If you couldn't cope with the "stress and workload" of primary teaching, I really feel that you may to reconsider social work as a career. It obviously doesn't matter for a year or so but I'd look at having an alternative plan to fall back on. Being a social worker is one of the most stressful jobs going, workloads are immense and you'll have problems working without being a driver. Sorry.

Credit-Crunched

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Congratulations on having some positive thoughts on how you're going to approach your situation.

I feel bad having to say something negative but it would be remiss of me not to. If you couldn't cope with the "stress and workload" of primary teaching, I really feel that you may to reconsider social work as a career. It obviously doesn't matter for a year or so but I'd look at having an alternative plan to fall back on. Being a social worker is one of the most stressful jobs going, workloads are immense and you'll have problems working without being a driver. Sorry.

I agree with that, school teacher is a walk in the park compared to a social worker, both mentally and physically. Also due to the amount of court appearances the paper work is extreme to say the least and the consequences of getting it wrong are huge to the people you are protecting

System

netty179a wrote: »

This is incorrect, I am a full time student and receive ESA but not DLA.

However before anyone goes off complaining I am a mature 44 year old student who is recieving maximum LOANS and maintainance grant (which is not that much!) This all just covers my bills and rent leaving me with very little for food and a minimal social life 2 hours in the local once a month!!! I had a part time job to support myself and used my savings as a back up.
I have worked every day since leaving school, sometimes even doing 2 or 3 jobsto support myself. However in my second year I now find myself in the position of not being able to work due to slipped discs and osteoarthritis in my lower spine which believe you me is very painful!
The ESA helps me to cover my day to day living costs and covers transport. I don't intend to be on this forever however for now it is actually a great help.
And I will now step off my soap box haha xxx

Sorry i should have made it clear that to get income related esa you have to claim dla

For income-related ESA, the starting point is that full-time students cannot claim, with one exception - for full-time students on disability living allowance (DLA) - either component, any rate

http://www.cpag.org.uk/cro/wrb/wrb206/students.htm