Would you think this behaviour was perverted?

candygirl

We used to get our knickers pulled down and bums slapped by the teachers at primary school:mad::mad::mad:What I don't get is why he only did it to you and not your Sister:o:oSeems very inappropriate to me, as well as abusive:(:(:(

Person_one

make me wise makes a good point about periods. Mine started at 11 so that would have been 4 years when he might have been pulling down your pants to find a sanitary towel or tampon string!

Definitely definitely abuse.

If your dad is still alive I would talk to the police. Who knows he might have abused other girls or women and its never too late to call someone to account.

meritaten

I was brought up in late fifties and smacking was much more commonplace and accepted then. mum tended to give 'stingers' across the face or the back of the legs - dad never laid a finger on us. I witnessed friends getting a spanking though - and NEVER saw anyone spanked this way. even then it would have been considered out of order I think. it was usually just a couple of slaps to the bum while they were standing up as retribution tended to be swift.
Hun, the reason this is disturbing you is because deep down you KNOW your dad best and you know whether he enjoyed punishing you this way. please bear in mind that your actions at fifteen probably hit him like a bucket of icy water! he KNEW that if you complained to the police or social services he would be in deep trouble.
Have you asked him why he felt the need to do this? was this how he was punished as a child? he may well have just been continuing a cycle of abuse and not have known any other way. Doesnt make his actions right - but if its the not knowing his intent that is bothering you then ask him.

babymoo

For me the bit that stuck out most about your post was that it never happened again after you stopped him when you were 15, to me that suggests that you knew what he was doing was damn wrong and so did he! This is only my opinion based on what you have written but I think it would have creeped me out a hell of a lot too!!

Huge hugs xx

FATBALLZ

Sounds like a p@edo to me.

Sambucus_Nigra

Yes, I do think this behaviour was perverted.

But, you have cut him out of your life now. Are you thinking of doing anything about this or do you just want it confirmed that it was abusive and perverted? As it was.....

Does he have access to any female children now?

patchwork_cat

I reckon I am about 5 or 6 years older than you and my dad had a temper and would smack us, but I can only remember having my bare bum smacked as a littlie. My dad stopped smacking me when I was about 12 as I fought back.

Do I think your what you have said was perverse, yes.

Money_maker

How often did this happen, was it a daily occurrence? Not agreeing with his opinion on a tv programme would suggest he either was hugely controlling (held down, bare bottom, marks left) or just looking for an excuse to excercise this form of punishment (enjoyment by him).

I was smacked in the 70's but never spanked and tbh it never hurt me although I did learn to quit whilst I was ahead. 'Children should be seen but not heard' was a favourite expression but I would never have been smacked for disagreeing about a TV programme or getting out of bed for a nightmare.

There was something wrong with him and your other comments just confirm this.

Please try some more counselling.

Jinx

Sounds like your dad was an abuser to me. In my mind there is no other explanation as to why you would pin down someone you are supposed to love and protect and leave marks on them. The bare bottom thing along with the watching sounds to me like he had ulterior motives than to guide you and show you the 'error' of your ways. Not surprised you have cut him out your life.

ellies_angel

It made you feel uncomfortable and what is what is important. His behaviour was wrong and inappropriate. I relate very strongly to what you have written. I have spent years turning situations over in my head, trying to make some sense of it, but for my own piece of mind I had to lay it to rest. I can't change anything, it has happened and I although I haven't dealt with it, I am dealing with it. I never told anyone. I didn't think I would be believed. I went for an angel reading and the first thing she said to me as I walked in was, you had a terrible childhood, I can see what happened, I know what happened. That was a turning point for me. I didn't have any counselling, it was enough to know that someone knew and believed me. I have since trained as a counsellor. This training meant I had to look deep into myself which was hard but theraputic. I am a stronger person. Would I ever confront him, no, he is not worth it. Nothing he can say could change anything for me. for him it was a power thing, any kind of abuse is a power thing. Cutting all ties from him and excluding him from my life. I have taken over the power and I feel stronger