2nd baby - age gaps

jakes-mum

There is 6 1/2 years between my 2, basically because after my horrible pregnancy with DS I swore blind i'd never have another one but when he turned 5 he started asking when I was going to have another baby, after about 6 months of saying 'Im not' I finally asked him why he kept asking, he said 'because I dont want to be lonely anymore' we started trying the next week.

I have to say since DD was born he has been brilliant, he absolutely dotes on her, he is 10 now she is 3, he plays with her, takes her out in the street to ride her bike, gets her drinks, I can fully see him being 18 and warning his mates to stay well away from his 11-12 year old sister on pain of death :rotfl:

What I do notice is that I had DS at 22 so didnt have a clue what I was doing, DD I was 29 and im alot more relaxed with her so the big age gap worked better for me as I would have been lost with 2 babys in my early 20's

nottslass_2

Angel11 wrote: »

I have a son of 21, daughter of 19 and expecting number 3 in September. So a 20yr gap. Very excited though with this unexpected arrival. Yes I may be more tired, but I'm older, wiser, more financially stable and so looking forward to having 9 months of work.

Lucy1973 wrote: »

Wow looks like you've beaten me:)(17 years for me).

Well,I can beat both of you

DS1 is 26 in October,DS2 is 9 and DS3 is 17 months,So 23.5 years between No1 & 3 !

Personally Its been great for me and I've really enjoyed "doing it all again", and as Angel said I'm older,wiser and more financially stable.

I find that I really don't get stressed about the unimportant things and just enjoy all the wonderfull things being a parent brings.



PS A large age gap also gives you the excuse to buy a nice shiny new pram for each baby, as obviously the the previous one is "years old".lol

OrkneyStar

evi3000 wrote: »

4 years and 4 months. Timed perfectly for when my eldest started full time school. He adores his baby sister. I love the age gap between my 2 "babies". Eldest was at school and I could dedicate myself full time to my youngest. I've personally never seen the point of rushing through the baby and toddler stage - it's the best bit. I have and will continue to make the most of the individual time I have with both of mine (Eldest 6 tomorrow, youngest 2 at end of October)
Works for me but I suppose it depends what you needs and wants are as a family.

I was born a month before my sister started school, I think she thought they were sending her away because I had arrived! So this might seem perfect but not always the case! Glad it worked for you though!

JodyBPM

I have 14 months between my two, and I found it very, very hard when they were little. My DD, who is the eldest was a really easy baby, and I thought I knew it all. Then when DS came along 14 months later, it turned my world upside down. He was probably still a fairly "easy" baby in the scheme of things, but compared to DD he was MUCH harder work. When they were toddlers, it was very, very hard indeed, I didn't have a minute to myself and I was completely exhausted. I also think that the "magic" was somehow taken out of the second pregnancy and second babyhood as I'd done it all before so recently, and I think I found it harder to bond with DS as a result. I simply didn't get the lovely contented 1:1 Mummy/Baby time with him that I had with my DD.

But fast forward a few years, and there are definitely benefits to having them so close together. They are both at school now, and only one school year apart, so I don't have many years of school runs to different schools to do. They are fairly close, and do often play very nicely together. They are at roughly the same developmental stage, so holidays, days out, activites etc are age appropriate for both of them, they have an overlap in their group of friends, and are often (although not always) invited to the same parties, playdates etc.

In hindsight, I would have left a bigger gap if I had known what I was letting myself in for! However, the nappies, bottles, buggies etc were all over and done with fairly quickly, and now with a 5 and 6 year old, I cannot fathom what it would be like to start with all the sleepless nights etc all over again! I sometimes wonder if I hadn't had them so close together whether I would ever have found a "right" time to have number 2...

DON79

I have a 14 month age gap too between ds1 and ds2 - although ds2 was unplanned, he was a very easy going baby after ds1. ds1 didn't sleep, fussy eater, not very content as a baby and ds2 was the exact opposite. The are 5 and nearly 4 now - they fight more than I would like, but then there are times when I love to see them playing together so happily which makes up for it. Although I found it harder to bond with ds1 and much easier with ds2. I think I felt really guilty about ds1 because he was only 6 months old when I found out was pregnant again and I felt a bit like I had robbed him of his own special mummy & daddy time when it was just meant to be him and us. I now have my daughter also who is 9 months old so there is a 3 year gap between ds2 and dd1.

faerie_girl

If all goes well with this pregnancy there will be 3 years between our children.
When I was pregnant with DS we were going to try for a 2 year age gap but when it came to it we wanted to dedicate time to DS whilst he was still developing the most.

This baby is due in February and DS might start nursery in the April if I can find a local nursery who does a Easter intake otherwise it will be September.

I think we'll be stopping at 2 though. It's a convient number when it comes to the parent:child ratio, for day trips, holidays etc.