2nd baby - age gaps

evi3000

4 years and 4 months. Timed perfectly for when my eldest started full time school. He adores his baby sister. I love the age gap between my 2 "babies". Eldest was at school and I could dedicate myself full time to my youngest. I've personally never seen the point of rushing through the baby and toddler stage - it's the best bit. I have and will continue to make the most of the individual time I have with both of mine (Eldest 6 tomorrow, youngest 2 at end of October)
Works for me but I suppose it depends what you needs and wants are as a family.

Gillyx

I always said I wanted small gaps between mines. My brother is 7 years older than me which was a bummer growing up, we were close but couldn't play together as such, my OH, gap between him and his brother is about 18 months and I would have liked it, but with this baby being unplanned I can't see me having another one in quick sucession :eek:

Tarzan

Mine are now 13, 12, 7 and 5.

There are 11&1/2 months between DS and oldest DD. They were really close until DD started nursery and DS was in reception. Now, as adolescents, they switch between being really giggly together and constantly insulting each other. I'm not sure which I find the most annoying

Youngest DDs have 2 years and 2 months between them and are really, really close. They do everything together and play with each other's friends too. They share a room and have no desire to have their own space.

DS-13 is a very caring older brother to the younger two.

DD-12 can be nasty to the DD-7 sometimes. She gets on really well with DD-5, but there is a bit of sibling rivalry between the 12 and 7 year old. The 7 year old idolises her older sister but the feeling is not mutual. DD-7 is a very girly girl and everybody comments on how pretty she is, so I'm sure it's jealousy.

DD-7 is very sweet and eager to please.

DD-5 is the family entertainer, she's very funny.

If I had to choose, I would say around 2 years age difference is the best for the children.

ciderwithrosie_2

17 months between my oldest two boys and it was OK actually, I either had the eldest in the buggy/the baby in a sling or the baby in the pram and the oldest sat in the end or in a backcarrier. The younger one was a really good sleeper luckily (still is at 19!) and was happy to be put down anywhere and get himself to sleep so it left me more time to give attention to my older one. DS2 walked at 9 months trying to keep up with his brother and more or less potty trained himself by copying too. They are really close as brothers although different characters, were only a school year apart and have a lot of the same friends, interests etc.

Tried for a 2 year age gap between 2nd and 3rd boys but it ended up that DS2 was nearly three and a half when DS3 turned up. He was a nightmare baby/toddler and the other 2 have never really included him that much as too big an age gap - so he has his own interests and friends entirely.

I am glad I had them all within 5 years though as I went back to work when DS3 was about to start school and have built my career up since then and have regained a social life.

donteatthat

fawd1 wrote: »

I have a sixteen month age gap between my two, they are currently 1 and 2 years old and to be honest, I wouldn't recommend it. My first sounds like yours, lovely easy baby, couldn't see what all the fuss was about and thought we had the whole parenting thing sussed, so we had another. Therein lay the giant shock. He never slept more than 2 hours at a time until he was 9 months old, including nights, cried if you ever put him down and was just a general nightmare for the first year of his life. Lovely now, but my lord it's hard work. Be prepared to not have a single seconds break, even when going to the loo, you will be interrupted! Maybe I'll be pleased in a couple of years when they're both a bit older and less demanding, but right now??? No way would I ever consider having another. To illustrate my point, this post has taken me over 15 minutes to write!!! And no2. baby is asleep!!

My biggest fear! I am expecting no.2 which will give 17 months between my 1st and 2nd. My first was 3 months prem and is now 10 months and @7.5 corrected to complicated things a little more. If this one is also as early it's likely to be a right headache! Despite his early arrival and the associated issues DS1 is pretty well behaved baby and everyone tells me how easy he is and how lucky I am. I am therefore expecting a little horror next time!

rachbc

8 years between mine - 18 months between me and my brother. I strongly suspect the later had an influence on my choices as we did not and still don't get on in the slightest

onlyroz

I have a 3.5 year gap between my two - timed so that I wouldn't be paying double-nursery fees for too long (in the end they were only at nursery together for about 3 months - it would have crippled us financially to have to put them both in at the same time for a long period).

Regarding your career - are you planning on putting your children into any kind of childcare, or are you going to wait until they're both of school age before returning?

mum2twinsx2

4years and two months between mine. Was ideal as they were in nursery 2 and half days a week so was gentle on me. By time summer holidays came round I was able to work the boys around the girls routine.
Also meant I didnt have to pay horrific nursery fees through the summer holidays as was on maternity leave.

busiscoming2

Mine are now 24, 21 and 14. Personally the smaller gap is much better. The eldest was a week off her third birthday when the second was born and they grew up together. My youngest was from a second marriage and so the gap couldn't be helped, but with hindsight I wish we had had another one after him as he has really grown up as an only child and although he has lots of friends and a good social circle, knowing the childhood closeness of the other two, I feel he has missed out.

horse76

My DD is 6 and DS is nearly 10 months, so about a 5 and a half year age gap. I didn't plan a big age gap, but we did alot of moving 3/4 years ago and then kept telling myself we couldn't afford another at the time. We decided to leave it until DD started school and I fell pregnant luckily fairly quickly, so DS was born 2 weeks after DD started in P2. DS will be starting P1 when DD goes into P7, so think that will be quite nice as she might get to be his buddy. She's been a great help and I'm sure DS will be running about the garden with her soon enough, which I know she can't wait for. In actual fact I now realise there is never a right time to have a baby, as when I kept saying we couldn't afford it a few years ago, we were better off then than we are now lol. I'm thinking I'd quite like one more, but we're not sure what's happening with DH's job yet so those plans are on hold for the moment.