2nd baby - age gaps

euronorris

Sally42 wrote: »

My oldest son is 21, I had him when I was 20. Next in line is my 10 y.o. DS, I was 31 when he came along. And last (but not least) I have my youngest DS ~ just coming up for 6 months, I was 41 when he was born. Different things work for different people; there's lot to be said for all options. The best thing to do is look at the positives in whatever situation you find yourself in!

Absolutely.

I'm the youngest of 5, and my eldest sibling is 12 years older than me and he (and my other brother, and eldest sister) kinda took me under their wing a bit, and looked after me at times, were able to help Mum out etc etc. Whereas my other sister is only 3 or 4 (depending on the time of year! lol) years older than me, which meant that we fought like cat and dog when we were younger (as did the eldest three when they were younger), but we're great friends now.

We're all great friends, but I love the fact that I have older brothers and sisters with a wealth of knowledge and experience that I don't yet have. They are usually the ones to give me the most level headed advice, and also point out when I'm being an idiot! :rotfl:

I just wanted to give the OP the perspective of a child and I hope it's helpful. But Sally is right, there are pros and cons to big gaps and little gaps, so best to have another when you feel ready and then focus on the positives.

starnight_2

I think just go for what you want, there's 8 yrs between my nephew and niece, sis said that was the biggest gap she would have. It seems to work for them. Though there is only 10 mths between my sister and me, we fought the bit out growing up, but I think that would have happened anyway and we do love each other XD

My mum didn't plan it that way, but it worked out for her, the most difficult bit was moving us around, she used a twin buggie.

Gorgeestwo

There is 20mths between our two children and I love it, they're now 4.5 and 6 and are the best of friends and always have been really, if we had, had more children I definately would have tried for a similar or even smaller age gap, it was nice to be able to get all the 'baby' stuff done and out of the way pretty quickly

clairelou44

My daughter is just 2 and a half and my son is 6 months and while the first few months were hard work it is a lovely age gap, they get on very well now and I am sure they will play well together over the coming years. As I only want 2 children it is lovely to know the sleepless nights are over and done with and I can just look forward to the fun times with 2 toddlers.

Evansangel

I have a 14 Month age gap, its hard but it will be worth it when they are both older and all the nappys are done.

Spendless

I have 3 years between my 2, which was not far off the maximum gap I wanted. Financial,housing and health reasons got in the way of a smaller gap. Whilst it was ideal when they were little, DS had my undivided attention till he was 3, and when DD was 18 months her brother went to f-time school, now they are older I do feel as though I'm playing a waiting game of 'catch up' with the youngest.

Something you may wish to consider is how the school years fall? Depending on where you are and when birthdays fall and when you are planning to start TTC you may find you just miss a school year for the youngest and are still waiting that extra year, alternatively you could find consecutive school years with almost a 2 year gap.

clairec79

I had 15.5 months between the first two, as far as I remember it was pretty easy I was still in 'baby' mode - I do get big arguments between the pair of them now due to borrowing each others stuff

Then 22 months between 2 and 3, quite a nice gap really

Then almost 7 years between 3 and 4.

I'd take the small age gap any day. Don't get me wrong the others love the baby to pieces and always want to help (he's 8 months so the novelty hasn't worn off yet) but I could have tape recorded 'let the baby sleep' and played it non stop from his birth. Also when he gets a little older they will have grown out of soft play etc, whereas when they were little they all loved it and did the same activities

[Deleted User]

I have 15months between my two and although it was unplanned i now love the fact they are so close in age and they do get on really well. They spend all their time together and one looks for the other around the house. DS starts school in september and i think DD will really miss her brother as even their nursery days are the same. I have also found having a small gap meant they are into the same things at the same time and my DD learned things quicker and faster to keep up with DS. I dont regret our age gap at all, so glad of our accident!

however its not for everyone and sometimes life doesn't always follow your plan.

Good luck OP.

Angel11_2

I have a son of 21, daughter of 19 and expecting number 3 in September. So a 20yr gap. Very excited though with this unexpected arrival. Yes I may be more tired, but I'm older, wiser, more financially stable and so looking forward to having 9 months of work.

Lucy1973

Angel11 wrote: »

I have a son of 21, daughter of 19 and expecting number 3 in September. So a 20yr gap. Very excited though with this unexpected arrival. Yes I may be more tired, but I'm older, wiser, more financially stable and so looking forward to having 9 months of work.

Wow looks like you've beaten me:)(17 years for me).