MSE News: Single mothers 'worst hit by cuts'

samantha625

lazer wrote: »

They are the worst hit, because they get the most in the first place so can afford to lose more.

It is also the case that young women choose to become single parents and live on benefits, hopefully these cuts will make it a less appealing prospect to be a young single mother living only on benefits, while still ensuring that they get enough to live and look after their children.

It is people like u that make my blood boil not every single mum chooses to b that way I didnt choose to lose my 43 yr old husband by a heart attack which has left me to bring up two boys 13 and 11 choose yr words wisely b4 writing your hurtfull comments and dont tar every single mother with the same brush angry mum

gillypkk

FBaby wrote: »

Here we go.... How do you come up with this figure of 99%? That would mean that 99% of single mums with children requiring childcare don't work.... I very much doubt that is the case thankfully.

If childminders are hard to come by in your area, change areas. If you didn't get all the support from the government and HAD to work, wouldn't you do so?

I too have an ex who I can't be relied on at all. He only had the kids saturday days until they could get up on their own and let him a lie in and he accepted to have them one overnight every 2 weeks. During the summer holidays, i am lucky if he has them 4 or 5 days out of the 6 weeks, and of course, I am left for organising all the childcare, he only is a dad for all the fun part of the role.

We don't live in an ideal world, we live in a world where most people accept its limits and try to work through them. Some just don't really try because they prefer to focus on all the reasons why they can't do something rather than on what they could actually do.

in my area 99% of the jobs wont cover childcare. ive discussed this with the job centre. i cant relocated as i dont have the money to move and start over again. if you want to give me the money to up and move then feel free to.

im so glad you have your ex to look after your kids. mine hasnt seen his in 2.5 years. i have no support. ive applied for jobs and been sucessful but when they tell me the hours that are literally impossible as there is no childcare for my kids what exactly am i meant to do? leave a 2 year old and 5 year old at home on their own? i dont think so!

ive been looking for work since my youngest was 6 months old and i got moved out of homeless accomodation into my house. the situation is the same all over the counrty where jobs are nigh on impossible to get so where exactly do you suggest i move? tell you what since you have fab support off your ex give me your job then and you can go back to my position and i guarantee you wont be so high and mighty then!

DaisyFlower

carpedieme wrote: »

It makes me mad when I read alot of the previous comments re tax credits going up or down childcare costs going up or down etc etc etc. I was a single parent for ten years ( Ex left, thought grass was greener elsewere, turnedout to be brown!! )I went from working a two day week tofulltime plus through absolute necessity to keepour heads above water. Ex did always pay maintenance on time religiously albeit a small amount, however I received no help from anywhere as I was just above the threshold for everything, also had topay for childcare at my house no family help. My job is within the NHS working three shifts and every weekend, I got off my not small XXXX and went to work whichiswhat a lot of people would be advised to doinstead of moaning what benefits have been cut, living within your means and not running up debts you cant afford also helps!

Thats exactly it, if every single parent had those morals then nobody would be "lumped together".

Sadly, many dont and thats how the stereotypes came about. Working and juggling family can be hard but no excuse not to work even if its for less than benefits pay.

Cutting benefits can only be a good thing, perhaps our work ethic will come back and people wont see having children as a way out of work. The sooner we have an even playing field the better, why should some mums get 9 months paid maternity whilst others stay home for many years at the states and other workers expense.

starchild1972

2 single parents...

Friend of mine, teacher, works full time, gets left with £10 a month after paying out for everything. Last time she had a holiday her mother paid. No sky TV, no mobile phone, manages to run a car for work and just about managed broadband, has to privately rent gets no HB or CTB. Father of kids total A******E who firstly deny paternity then go for custody(!) accusing her of wanting benefits. Takes her to court she agrees to access, never turns up, refuses to pay a penny. She finds out he has 6 other children including 2 by his WIFE. (Who he forgot to mention)

DH Ex, 4 children (not all his), never worked, wouldn't take money off DH "cos it like affects my benefit". Would get pregnant and kick out whichever bloke she was seeing at the time (not always father of child). Now whinging that due to last pregnancy complications she had to undergo emergency hysterectomy. Youngest hit 12 now on jobseekers. Went shoplifting and purposely got caught "cos like no one want someone with a police record so I will keep getting dole" Has council house with plenty of "uncles" for the kids. Been in contravention of court orders of allowing access so many times the judges are sick of the sight of her. Judge decided that DH should pay her no money without her proving it was spent for the children. She refused (Gods forbid she should forgo her designer clothes for the sake of the children, children are clothed in jumble sale clothes). Any gifts bought and sent to children appear on eBay within a week. Eldest daughter (18) phones DH up in tears after being kicked out by her mother because she refused to get pregnant. (she is living with boyfriend & parents now)

Marisco

DaisyFlower wrote: »

Thats exactly it, if every single parent had those morals then nobody would be "lumped together".

Sadly, many dont and thats how the stereotypes came about. Working and juggling family can be hard but no excuse not to work even if its for less than benefits pay.

Cutting benefits can only be a good thing, perhaps our work ethic will come back and people wont see having children as a way out of work. The sooner we have an even playing field the better, why should some mums get 9 months paid maternity whilst others stay home for many years at the states and other workers expense.

Not many will do that, and I don't blame them!! It's fine if there is scope for a better job/money, the short term pain will, in the long term be worth it. But if it's just for a NMW job, as opposed to career, then it wouldn't take long to get into debt, if the wage doesn't cover the outgoings. It does seem as if the childcare is the killer, and possibly moves should be made to bring the price of that down.

As my kids are adults, I don't have any experience of childcare costs, but from what I have read on the threads, the prices they charge is criminal IMO!!!! I really cannot see the point in going to work, if all your wages will be going in childcare costs!

FBaby

i cant relocated as i dont have the money to move and start over again

With the amount single mums are entitled to as being unravelled here, you should be able to put some money aside to relocate. In the two years since you've been looking for a job, surely you could have saved enough for relocation costs if you were really motivated.

im so glad you have your ex to look after your kids. mine hasnt seen his in 2.5 years. i have no support. ive applied for jobs and been sucessful but when they tell me the hours that are literally impossible as there is no childcare for my kids what exactly am i meant to do? leave a 2 year old and 5 year old at home on their own? i dont think so!

My ex doesn't give me support. 4 days in a 6 1/2 weeks holiday (and not even sure I will get this this summer) is not what allows me to work. He has never once taken an interest in childcare or schools. He hasn't even visited the new schools the kids will be starting at in September. Oh and no financial support from him, but if you want him as an ex, you are welcome to him if you think that means you would be able to get a job!

the situation is the same all over the counrty where jobs are nigh on impossible to get so where exactly do you suggest i move?

If it the same everywhere, how do you explain that there are many single mums who do work? And no, not all have support from their ex or family. As a matter of fact, most of my single parent colleagues don't at all and rely solely on childcare. Come my way, there are plenty of jobs available and good childcare.

if you want to give me the money to up and move then feel free to

tell you what since you have fab support off your ex give me your job then and you can go back to my position and i guarantee you wont be so high and mighty then!

I think the above statements say a lot. ia this how you consider job hunting, waiting for someone to give you the perfect position with the perfect salary, money to relocate and more? Well, yes, this is where the 99% might apply, with such attitude, it is indeed very unlikely to ever find yourself in employment.

gillypkk

starchild1972 wrote: »

2 single parents...

Friend of mine, teacher, works full time, gets left with £10 a month after paying out for everything. Last time she had a holiday her mother paid. No sky TV, no mobile phone, manages to run a car for work and just about managed broadband, has to privately rent gets no HB or CTB. Father of kids total A******E who firstly deny paternity then go for custody(!) accusing her of wanting benefits. Takes her to court she agrees to access, never turns up, refuses to pay a penny. She finds out he has 6 other children including 2 by his WIFE. (Who he forgot to mention)

DH Ex, 4 children (not all his), never worked, wouldn't take money off DH "cos it like affects my benefit". Would get pregnant and kick out whichever bloke she was seeing at the time (not always father of child). Now whinging that due to last pregnancy complications she had to undergo emergency hysterectomy. Youngest hit 12 now on jobseekers. Went shoplifting and purposely got caught "cos like no one want someone with a police record so I will keep getting dole" Has council house with plenty of "uncles" for the kids. Been in contravention of court orders of allowing access so many times the judges are sick of the sight of her. Judge decided that DH should pay her no money without her proving it was spent for the children. She refused (Gods forbid she should forgo her designer clothes for the sake of the children, children are clothed in jumble sale clothes). Any gifts bought and sent to children appear on eBay within a week. Eldest daughter (18) phones DH up in tears after being kicked out by her mother because she refused to get pregnant. (she is living with boyfriend & parents now)

wow she sounds like a right charmer!!!!

Marisco wrote: »

Not many will do that, and I don't blame them!! It's fine if there is scope for a better job/money, the short term pain will, in the long term be worth it. But if it's just for a NMW job, as opposed to career, then it wouldn't take long to get into debt, if the wage doesn't cover the outgoings. It does seem as if the childcare is the killer, and possibly moves should be made to bring the price of that down.

As my kids are adults, I don't have any experience of childcare costs, but from what I have read on the threads, the prices they charge is criminal IMO!!!! I really cannot see the point in going to work, if all your wages will be going in childcare costs!

the whole short term pain - long term gain is what im trying to focus on right now but even NMW jobs are hard to come by. the point of working is to make a better life for your family not make it worse. you are in effect palming off your children onto someone else to raise instead of doing your first and formost job of raising your kids yourself so you really ought to be able to say at the end of the day "this is why you work kids so that once a month we can go out for the day and do something special as a family and maybe if we save hard next year we can go away for a little holiday" rather than "sorry kids i cant afford to do something special with you coz your childminder costs way too much and if we go out i cant afford to buy food next week"

FBaby

Marisco wrote: »

As my kids are adults, I don't have any experience of childcare costs, but from what I have read on the threads, the prices they charge is criminal IMO!!!! I really cannot see the point in going to work, if all your wages will be going in childcare costs!

Tax credits will pay 70% of that to single working mums (unless they earn very well), so it is usually still affordable to work and use childcare.

I received financial help with childcare when my two were little and I am massively grateful for that, but I consider it was a good investment as it only lasted 3 years and have long paid it all back with the high tax I am now contributing and will continue to do so for a number of years. I have no issue whatsoever for taxes to go towards supporting anyone working full-time who needs help with childcare, but I don't see why I should support those who claim they can't work, or those who only work a few hours because they get the most benefits this way.

gillypkk

FBaby wrote: »

With the amount single mums are entitled to as being unravelled here, you should be able to put some money aside to relocate. In the two years since you've been looking for a job, surely you could have saved enough for relocation costs if you were really motivated.



My ex doesn't give me support. 4 days in a 6 1/2 weeks holiday (and not even sure I will get this this summer) is not what allows me to work. He has never once taken an interest in childcare or schools. He hasn't even visited the new schools the kids will be starting at in September. Oh and no financial support from him, but if you want him as an ex, you are welcome to him if you think that means you would be able to get a job!



If it the same everywhere, how do you explain that there are many single mums who do work? And no, not all have support from their ex or family. As a matter of fact, most of my single parent colleagues don't at all and rely solely on childcare. Come my way, there are plenty of jobs available and good childcare.





I think the above statements say a lot. ia this how you consider job hunting, waiting for someone to give you the perfect position with the perfect salary, money to relocate and more? Well, yes, this is where the 99% might apply, with such attitude, it is indeed very unlikely to ever find yourself in employment.

with such an attitude? is that why i am doing voluntary shop work every week jsut for the experience and a recent refrence?

ive had been given a council house that was literallhy falling apart and ive had to save up to get it repaired as the council refused to make it safe and i couldnt go back into homeless accomodation as i would have been classed as making myself intentionally homeless.

ive already moved across the country to get away from my ex. im not disrupting the kids again and removing them from the only family they have left when i dont need to!!

stop being so judgmental. you are in a very priviledged position stop looking down on those of us who are not so fortunate. you dont know my full story so get off your high horse and take a look around. its not all sunny and rosy for us all.

FBaby

So why did you move somewhere where there is supposedly no childcare available at all?

It has nothing to do with being fortunate or priviledge. I was in the same position once, had to decide whether to work my bum off and believe me, I had many nights crying my eyes out from exhaustion and frustration at not being able to enjoy any of my money because all of it just went to pay the bills, but I made that choice and now it has paid off.

I am not judging on who you are or your history, I am judging on what you are writing, about how you can't work because there is no childcare where you are and you can't relocate because you can't afford it. I don't consider these good reasons for not working. If your past is such that indeed there are issues making it impossible for you to work, then I might see the situation differently. I have total sympathy for those with disabled children who trully can't find childcare, benefits are there for a very good reason and I would never support this to be scrapped, but I don't believe that benefits are justified just because of lack of childcare in one area or lack of funds to move somewhere where there is.