younger sister just attacked my mother..

gorgeouslatinrose

No idea- this is what I have been told - ive been at university so not very clued up on it all - only been told this is what the doctor said

Allegra

gorgeouslatinrose wrote: »

No idea- this is what I have been told - ive been at university so not very clued up on it all - only been told this is what the doctor said

If that was a reply to my question about AS, Rose, don't worry, the question was not directed at you

make_me_wise

gorgeouslatinrose wrote: »

just got off the phone - social services apparently can do nothing as we are not beating her up.....not really sure where to go now ....

I would phone social services back. Your mum has every right to feel safe in her own home. This situation with your sister needs to be addressed or she may attack and cause harm to others.

My friends son used to attack her. Started off with him slapping her, then punching her. His aggression and violence escalated and then one day he held a knife to her throat. Took a while for social services to want to be involved with them too.

hob

my brother(has mental disabilty) was placeed with me in a emrgancey a few years ago was not ment to stay long but ...x ....y ...z any way hes 32 now so 30 at the time and 6'2 and much stronger and bigger then me. he got upset one night (his psp wast working) and attacked me . any way called the out of hours socail serves and explaned what happened they can get place ur sister in a pinch u just have to get ur mom tp say whats probalbly gonna be very hard. and say she wont have your sister in the house. they have ppl who can provide restbite (even at 3am) yes i know ur sister is a child and my borther is a adult but basicaly the same rules apply. the police dont have to be called they are very good at there jobs but dot have the training that a socail worker has they may not understand your sisters condtion. pls if your worried about ur sisters behaver and u think she will put your mum at risk call them and say you need her out now. the people my brother went to were very understanding of his needs and didnt juge me for saying i give up. they are there to help please know they are there i tryed for months before he attacked me to get him replaced but i was to willing to try and he got left with me say you cant and wont have her in the home if you must , people on this site may even rember me panicing over everything.

blue_monkey_2

Speak to Parent Partnership, they will guide you in the right direction, they have been really useful and will also go with your mum to see the doctor if she needs it.

What the OP descibes is what many of us that have children with ASD live with day in/day out. We cannot just 'rehome them' because it gets too much, can we? Shove the problem onto someone else? OP, it is hard for you because your mum has lived with this for so many years before getting help and yes, everyone gets to their 'no more' point, she is only human and she should not feel bad for thinking that.

Social Services will not really help unless they think other children in the family are at risk, if they are then they could have the other children removed so please, please be wary of this. A mum at our local support group had a massive fight with SS because they wanted to remove her NT child because her son had (undiagnosed) Aspergers (was confirmed in a later appointment) and they said her other child was at risk from him.

See if your mum can find a support group locally - where do you live - I'll see if I can help find one for her, they will be of the most support and will direct her to the specialist support she needs.

For those of you saying to call the police - you cannot call the police every single time they have meltdowns, you would be on the phone every day. Our children have not matured mentally like your have and it is like having a toddler, not a teenager and it is hard when you seen a teenager on the outside and yet they do thinks a 3 year old would do. Do you call the police each time your 3 year old has a tantrum?? It is learning how to deal with those meltdowns and letting the child have an outlet for their anger because that anger still needs to be released. OP, it is aimed at younger children but see if you mum can get a book called 'The Red Beast' as it will help explain why she has these outbursts and a lot of children find it helps them understand why they feel like that. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Red-Beast-Controlling-Children-Aspergers/dp/1843109433/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1308841452&sr=8-1

And, it is time to make sure that all knives, scissors and screwdrivers are locked away where your sister cannot get to them. It gets to this point for a lot of the parents at our support group. Better to be safe than sorry.

And to the poster who said 'my child has Aspergers and does not do this', as you must know the spectrum is huge and anger is just one of the many issues we have to deal with. Many, many children with Aspergers have Anger issues and outbursts like this daily and we live with this daily, so think yourself very lucky that you do not have this aspect of the condition to deal with on top of everything else - it is not nice at all. There are books specifically aimed at the Anger issues children with the condition have.

hob

thats a very good point blue monkey. it depends on how much you can take before u need a brake or how bad the attack was, but if your dad is home and you know he could deal with her if needed. then maybe you shouldnt act as rash as i did. i needed him moved to a better place that could help him for more then just him attacking me. i think i would still kick up a fuss so you can get help on how to deal with her if she starts hurting someone again. and how to deal with her anger maybe if i just knew more about what to do and what not to do it wouldnt of been so bad.

Quackers

scooby088 wrote: »

There is no excuse for putting your hands on another person, assault is assault and no matter what condition they have the police need to be informed. Speaking personally i would defend myself and have the daughter out of the house, with the police involved you can also get social services involved and get something sorted out for your sister.

Lol, I've lost count of the amount of times my daughter attacked me.

Thankfully (!?), at 16 she had neurosurgery and as well as her epilepsy it also stopped her terrible mood swings. The surgeon and her consultant told me this would happen - I didn't believe it...

I'm not sure there were enough hours in my day during her teenage years to call the police every time she attacked me.

When she went she had no control over what she was doing and had the strength of 10 men...

Calling the police never once entered my mind.

I'm thinking that you have no experience what so ever of young adults with learning disabilities - from the OP's description of her sister I think this is what is being described here.

Good Luck OP. After being involved with social services over the past 3 years with my ex partner and his children I am not surprised at all that they have no interest. I have lost faith in our local social services dept.

You could try for a referral to your local CAHMs dept? They may be able to offer some support.

blue_monkey_2

I think it is so hard to deal with at the best of times - more so when an attack is unprovoked too.

You did not act rash hob, I have just seen your other post, you was poorly too and you would not have been able to cope with your brother. It would have been too much for you but at least you can say that you did try, you was going to make yourself more ill over your brother so you needed help. Sometimes we do, there is absolutely no shame in asking for help. The problem is getting the help. I am glad that you did hob but I do think it is getting increasinly difficult. My call to them last week they fobbed me off and told me to talk to someone else, they did not want to know.

scooby088

Allegra wrote: »

Do you actually know what Asperger's Syndrome is ?

doesn't really matter if he knows, if assault is a by product then this needs to be sorted and the police are good at doing that. Like i said i would not suffer it if a child of mine did it.

hob

i dont want to highjack this thread but his social worker was told about my ...problems and my doctor wrote him a letter saying that i hadnt been well. i was better but only just (about a month of living like a normal person ) so i know its hard to get help, ad maybe im wrong for thinking this but if u dont yell and spit your dummy out of the pram so to speak they will just leave you to struggle. im not sure if there are just to few or if there is red tape making there job to hard... hopefully that picked there jobs coz they want to help...