Frugal Frump to Fab/Winter Solstice

Molly41

sophistica wrote: »

Where is everyone? I had to post as there was nothing to view. Loved the Advanced Style blog. I now have confidence for outrageous outfits. I have been dressed to the nines for the last two days. Just about to get out of pjs and run to a third day. Still on my parents refurb. I tell everyone...take MASSIVE action. I learned this from the guru Anthony Robbins. Forget about pacing yourself, this is all nonsense, if you want something, move heaven and earth until you get it. In the words of a satrwRs character, do or dont do, there is no try!

Im very sorry but your post has quite upset me. Without being disrespectful this is a prime way to burn out. How do I know this? Well I did this for many years and no one's physical, mental and emotional health can withstand that assault. I do agree that it is important to have goals but the philosophy of pacing is not rubbish. It is a way of managing your life that allows you to achieve. Small, baby steps all mount up!

LL - my condolences to you and hubby xxx

bratz81

morning all, thanks so much for all the birthday wishes!! And Skymist, happy birthday to you too!
I'm afraid I don't have a picture of me in my dress (can't remember who asked now, sorry!) but it's a beautiful dress to wear - I loved it!

LL - sorry to hear your news and you're right about carpeing that diem.

Well, I was completely spoiled all weekend by friends and family - never had such a nice birthday! I had started off feeling bad as a lot of people I thought were friends were making zero effort when I was trying to organise a party - but it ended up being a great night out with just a few close friends and a cinema trip to see Sherlock Holmes. Would recommend it, so funny

My wonder fianc! bought me a Pandora bracelet with 5 charms on it, and his mum got me another charm plus a vintage hobby stool, must get a pic up of that. I also got some vintage style necklaces, a Cath Kidson umbrella, you know that ones with the hook handle thing? And lots of wine and cards, as well as vouchers from my dad who said there's no point him picking a present for me being an old man (71!) and not know what girls like! He's so funny.

tru

LL hugs for you

My glasses were £2.69 for 6 from Ikea Best size I've ever used, lol. My knickers and socks combo - I hadn't started drinking when I put them on. Wonder how I'd end up looking if I picked out clothes while drunk? I'll have to try that :rotfl:

The Christmas do was rubbish. People blowing up balloons and letting them zoom around the room onto other people's tables was annoying. As was a couple of people throwing grapes. I couldn't dance because of my hip - didn't mind that so much, I knew before we went that it would hurt so was prepared to miss out a bit. But the others in our group claimed the two big comfy sofas by throwing their coats and bags over them then not sitting down because they were dancing all night. Other people had to stand up and I could see them eyeing 'our' seats. Course, I'm the one who got the dirty looks because I was the only person sat there. Even mr tru left me on my own for an hour and joined the others. I got more and more wound up as the night went on, so I picked myself up, grabbed my coat and bag and stormed outside with a full bottle of wine. I went into childish mode "well if their stuff is stolen, it'll serve them right for being so stupid and selfish". Sat myself down under the shelter where I downed the wine and chain-smoked (I know, I know - but i don't want to hear it, lol). The place is an old mill with a huge waterwheel and a little waterfall, the Christmas lights were twinkling and reflecting off the water. I had my own little party by myself and it was quite wonderful

We were out last night too, a fab carol concert then the pub. So that's two nights in a row where I've fallen into bed with my make-up on. My face needs some serious pampering today

lessonlearned

Just the quickest of quickies - oo-oer missus - that sounds a bit dodgy.

Skymist - Happy Birthday :T:T:T

Sorry can't do the cake thingy.

Lots of best wishes - have a Fab Birthday. XXX

Callisto

I just thought I would sneak on here for half an hour before going into town to get the last few present bits, so this afternoon I can commence Operation Spare Room. (OH's Mum is coming to stay at least a couple of nights from Christmas Eve, and the room really needs tidying. Plus I can't currently access the decorations as there is junk in front of the cupboard!)

Skymist - Happy Birthday, and hope you have a lovely day!

Tru - The mill and twinkly lights sound pretty, sorry the actual do was rubbish. I have found that these pre-Christmas events don't generally live up to expectation. It feels like there is too much pressure on enjoying yourself, when the majority of people are frazzled and still thinking about what they have left to do.

Sparkles - Your winter walk sounds fab! I have been exercising indoors lately as the weather here has just been grey and rainy.

Molly - I do agree with you regarding pacing yourself to achieve. I mentioned my sister being a high achiever in my previous post. She works full time as a manager, has a website she is trying to make into a business, has several hobby/interest/volunteer groups she attends, is obsessed with exercise/dieting and every weekend is crammed with activities. She used to only be at her house one evening a week, and we had to book in advance to go round and see her!

However she now suffers from chronic headaches and I can't help but wonder if this is a result of always being busy and never properly relaxing/destressing? So she has been forced to cut back drastically on the amount she does. I used to be jealous of her life, but have come to realise that we are very different people and I wouldn't want my life to be that busy, so I will continue with my baby steps. I would just like a little tiny bit of my sister's get up and go to help me get started on things!

Right, I really need to go to the shops now...

podperson

Morning all,

LL - I completely agree that it doesn't matter at the moment whether you think the house looks good or whether you've done as much for xmas as you normally do - appreciate family and the time with OH at home and the rest can all be sorted out in the new year (though not all at once, make sure you don't overdo it and hopefully will be able to recover gradually from the strain rather then having a burnout).

Skymist - Happy Birthday hun :bdaycake:- hope you have a lovely day!

Callisto - the Day Zero thing is interesting, I don't know if 101 might be a few too many for me though I suppose it would include mainly smaller goals though?

Sparkles - your winter walk sounds lovely, I do like it when it's snowy but all crisp and bright - we seem to be just getting rainy or icy snow up here this year.

Bratz - am so happy to hear you got spoiled - you deserve it and sounds like some lovely pressies there.

Tru - what a shame your xmas do was a bit of a let down - some people can end up being very inconsiderate when they've had a few but leaving you to watch the coats all night is just rude! Glad you managed to find your own little xmassy moment anyway.

It's interesting to see peoples responses to the 'go all out' philosophy. I know I did tend to just go for things a lot more when I was younger but I suppose when you have more responsibilities it's not quite as easy. I know that I do want to make big changes but at the moment it's not feasible for me to have things all happen at once - that doesn't mean I can't be focused on them and constantly working towards them though. I always find it quite interesting looking at biographies for successful people like Richard Branson and the massive risks they would take - I suppose it's a change in my own philosophy that I used to quite admire that but now I find myself thinking that it's all very well but I'm sure there's a lot of people who also took huge risks and lost everything, and of course there's no biography for them to show that story. Kind of like the 'history is written by the winners' kind of issue. I don't want that to sound negative - more that I just believe that although it might take me a little longer to take where I want to be but I don't want to take a massive risk to do it or burn myself out as Molly mentioned.
Anyways, back it work today but only 3 day until I finish for xmas. Also my boss said this morning that he'd forgot I was finishing early and what do I normally drink - fingers crossed for a xmas pressie and he wasn't just being forward:rotfl:
Hope everyone's having a good day x

maman

:santa2:

Adding my good wishes too skymist. It's my DD1's birthday tomorrow. I hope you get a fuss made of you. It can be difficult with Christmas birthdays.

Glad you had a good time bratz, you had some super presents. It's great that people thought them out so well (including your dad:rotfl:). I have a Trollbeads bracelet (very similar to Pandora) and I love wearing it. When I'm going somewhere a bit special I always put it on as part of my fabbing routine. I love bracelets. I tend to 'talk' with my hands and so having well-groomed nails and bracelets adds to the effect. I have 11 gold bracelets on my right wrist permanently.

tru, well done on having your own party:D:T I hate balloons and infantile behaviour so I'd have willingly joined you in the shelter!!!

I haven't time to stay and chat now (must go and see DGD1 as she's had two teeth out this morning, making space, typical teenage thing).

Quick comment on 'big plans' debate (very interesting sophistica). I can see both sides. Perhaps a really big, single-minded plan is only possible if you can put other things on the back burner or delegate them to someone else (even basic stuff like cooking, cleaning, childcare etc). I think we're all agreed that having no plans, ever is a pretty unsatisfactory way of life. So with my bum feeling a bit sore from splinters I'll say 'bye until later.

Willow92

I'm far too laid back and lazy to 'go for it' xD

Bitsy_Beans

Sophistica I have to say for someone to attempt suicide is a little more than being self absorbed in a minor problem. To you it might have been minor but to your friend it was potentially her whole world. I understand how awful it must have been having to deal with your father but everyone has their own demons to battle. Suicide is not something taken lightly and your friend was probably in a very dark place. What happened with your father does not automatically relegate other people's problems to being insignificant.

Whilst your go get 'em attitude is somewhat admirable however this being MSE most people cannot afford to "delegate" to others. I am a sort of SAHM, I took a drop in income to do this so I dont have money to divert to cleaners and gardeners.....it is all down to me.
I agree that sitting on your @rse expecting to get things done isn't going to make things happen but I don't think taking small steps to achieve what you want is wrong either. Taking risks is all well and good but how does one balance that when you have a small family to raise and protect. Am I prepared to gamble with my children's home? Not likely. If I were single with no dependants then it might be a different situation.

Your style of living may well fit you and your circumstances but I disagree that one size fits all.

MrsWoolfe

just popping in quickly to say hello,

a Happy Birthday to Bratz and Skymist!:bdaycake::bdaycake:

LL- so sorry to hear about your friend- you are right things like that really do make you think and we must try and take the time to appreciate and enjoy the now as much as we can- BIG HUGS to you LL not much else I can offer that will help- come on here and vent anytime thoughx


had a similar thing ourselves recently,DH's nephew who lives out in LA is four and has not been very well, they think he has an issue with his pituatry gland which is why he's not growing properly so has been having a horrible time with lots of test and daily injections in addition his Mum isn't well and is having surgery next week and last week his baby sister (14mths) fell and started bleeding from her ear- they disovered that she has a tumour behind her eye...DH's cousin is the Dad in this little family and is being amazing, very upbeat and positive that things will get better but can't help feeling for him- must be every person's nightmare, hopefully things will improve and they will have many more happy times ahead, but it really made me think about things... I'm thinking of heading out there end of next year if possible and can visit my family in Florida too, always put things off and say next year/when there isn't something big happening etc- but they came over this summer and I loved seeing them all lots of laughing and playing involved, I'd hate to think I'd not had as much of those kinds of times with the people I love...

sorry bit rambly there- I must try and post properly more often otherwise it ends up in a big rambling post!!!

Tru- sounds like you made the night for yourself! rubbish that people are so selfish at times but after a drink or too a lot of people forget their manners! lights sound pretty though!:D

PP- Glad things went better than expected with the visit, must say I find it really odd that they can treat their elderly Mum like that though! do they realise how hurt your OH is that they don't come to see him? I had a thing with my Mum recently about her never visiting me- We go there all the time and at first I didn't want to s anything as she was getting back to being independent etc since Dad...but she drives/travels everywhere else- including trips to the US/France/ etc..so mentioned it and she was surprised I was upset- she had the idea I didn't really want her to come over...why I#m not sure but she's promised to come here more....

In my case I'm being selfish here- when I go to Mum, there are always loads of people round- and I know it's lovely that everyone stops in to say hello and wants to catch up with us- but I don't get much time with my Mum to just talk, and see how she is doing- she's the type who will never, ever discuss her feelings with anyone outside her immediate family...and sometimes even I have to drag it out of her, so I want her here so we can do stuff together- not end up cooking for lots of people and having the house full although that's great fun at times too....

Hi Callisto:wave: the 101 idea is interesting- may ponder that over the break...

Bitsy- we had lots of rain too and I did not do well eating this weekend...but I'm being very mature and blaming my Mum:p

we only went over for the afternoon on Saturday- the plan was pick Mum up and head over to adopted Bro's to go over and meet my new little nephew also my neice had been asking for us for weeks and wanted to drop xmas pressies...bearing in mind that Mum was working night shift I wasn't planning on staying for dinner or anything...My Mum has other ideas....she cooked a lamb curry, she told one of her friends we were coming and hinted heavily that DH LOVES rotis/chappattis so she turned up with a HUGE pot of them and then told another aunty we were over and I'd asked for her king prawn receipe ( best prawns ever ever ever!)- so of course my lovely aunties decided she would make us a pot to eat thinking we were down for xmas...i don't think Mum quite thought it through bless her because of course my darling Sis-inLaw wouldn't accept that we would go over and not eat so she cooked too...oh my goodness was I full!It was all delicious though....and tonight am off for works xmas meal.....


Sparkles- I enjoy a rum and coke too! and am quite envious of your snowy walk, it's just rain and slush here, I'm really looking forward to being home during daylight hours as I can then go on a couple of nice walks over the break will have to do a few to balance the PJ days!

re the Burnout thing- well I'm most definately in the baby steps group!- many of you know how ill I have been in the last few years, so going all out is not even an option for me, and you know what? as things have slowed and I've gradully taken the time to look after me, I've become so much happier with my life- nothing much has changed, in a way financially we are worse off, but still have enough for what we need, the difference is my focus, my focus now is on the things that make me happy, how much I love my Husband and how much fun we have together, I spend time with people who make me feel happy and are sincere friends no more bending over backwards to please fake friends... No one knows what is around the corner so of course if you have something that you really want and would make you happy go for it- but not at the expense of your health/quality of life- in the end that is all we have of value anyway...the quality of the life we lead not the quantity of things we have...

anyway off to feed kitten and then get glammed up for meal! Have a pretty flute sleeved burnt orange dress hanging up, opaque tights and black boots, have had my hair in a plait all day so it will be soft and wavy and some sparkly eyeshadow I've been wanting to try out...well it IS a Christmas meal;)

Hugs to all that need them and hope you are all doing well

MrsWoolfe

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