Frugal Frump to Fab/Winter Solstice

lessonlearned

Good evening ladies

Just a quick post - at teatime I received some very sad news.

My friend's husband died on Wednesday. He has been battling throat cancer for the past year and whilst of course we knew he wasn't going to make it, we all thought he had a bit longer. He was just 62.

These were friends who we met a few years ago when on a property viewing trip to Bulgaria. We both had properties in Spain, theirs was about an hour away from ours so we used to meet up regularly both here in the UK and in Spain.

We had such good times and the future was so bright. This was just 5 short years ago - before OH's illness had got it's grip and before J's cancer was even on the horizon. We had no idea what the fates had in store for us and that there would be such dark days ahead. Illness and death always walk with us, but we thought we had plenty of time to live and enjoy our retirements. None of us realised that in our case they were so close by, just waiting to pounce.

Ladies - heed my words.

I know some of you have health issues, relationship worries and some of you have to deal with depression.

I'm not for one moment suggesting that I think your problems are trivial. What I'm trying to say, in my clumsy way, is try not to let them define you or shape the way you live.

J & S and OH and myself have had to learn the hard way just how fragile life is, how short and fleeting.

Make what we have suffered mean something, learn from our experience - live each and every day to the max, squeeze every last drop out of your lives, don't let sorrow, anger, bitterness or regret into your hearts and souls.

Carpe those diems - don't fritter them away.

Tomorrow today will be yesterday.

A very sad and wistful G'night x

Bitsy_Beans

LL my love and thoughts are with your friend. She s lucky to have you to support her. I hope she can find fond memories through the sadness xxx

sophistica

Where is everyone? I had to post as there was nothing to view. Loved the Advanced Style blog. I now have confidence for outrageous outfits. I have been dressed to the nines for the last two days. Just about to get out of pjs and run to a third day. Still on my parents refurb. I tell everyone...take MASSIVE action. I learned this from the guru Anthony Robbins. Forget about pacing yourself, this is all nonsense, if you want something, move heaven and earth until you get it. In the words of a satrwRs character, do or dont do, there is no try!

podperson

Hi all,

Tru - you sound completely fabified for your do - hope it was fun!

LL - I'm so sorry hun, thoughts are with you and your friend. Agree that there's definately a lesson in there, we do all have issues and problems but in the grand scheme of things it is so important to appreciate what we do have and the important things like health and loved ones.

Went out for the family meal last night, it was ok - was sat next to his uncle who does annoy me a little - he's one of those people who seem to feel the need to put everything and everyone down - but in a subtle way so it's hard to call him on it. Anyway at least have got most of the cards and pressies sorted out and given for that side of the family now - will go over and see his gran Friday or Saturday with her pressie but won't see anyone else now before xmas. On the brighter side felt quite organised on the fab side, wore my new skirt that I haven't worn out before with dark grey tights, black ankle boots, a dark purple top with a little bit of sparkle and a grey wool jacket on top.
Been to see Arthur Christmas this morning, really enjoyed it and am going xmas busking again this afternoon so hopefully be a bit xmassy. Hope everyone is having a good day x

lessonlearned

sophistica wrote: »

I tell everyone...take MASSIVE action. I learned this from the guru Anthony Robbins. Forget about pacing yourself, this is all nonsense, if you want something, move heaven and earth until you get it. In the words of a satrwRs character, do or dont do, there is no try!

Well - let me see ..........................

If you can then yes by all means.

In the past I was very much an all or nothing, go getter. I not only burned the candle at both ends, I burned it in the middle too. Social life, work, marriage, children the lot.

At the moment I have no choice to pace myself.

After nearly six years of caring for OH I am simply burnt out. My body has been trying to tell me for some time now, my head has only recently caught up to this:o.

So, sorry but for now, it has to be baby steps, pacing myself, and just simply hanging on until OH goes into care. I am literally counting down now. I am having to make sure that I'm never alone for long because I always need an extra pair of hands to assist me with the moving and handling.

Without wishing to appear ungrateful I am longing to have some time on my own, without hoards of people coming and going. I'm desperately in need of peace and solitude to just recharge.

The one thing that does concern me is that when I can stop and take a breather, will I simply collapse - either mental or physical. It has been known. Apparently it happens to roughly 50% of carers. They keep going and then, when they finally take their foot off the gas, they fall ill themselves. They just keep going through sheer will power.

The eternal optimist in me says it will not happen to me, I will not allow it. Which is why I'm trying to ease off now as much as I can, trying to minimise the damage.

I had a chat with my sister about this just this morning. I was telling her that my Christmas preparations are nowhere near the usual scale I indulge in, that my house is an absolute tip and that, frankly, I no longer cared. We laughed about it - she agreed that the house can wait till next year.;) I may well employ someone for a few weeks to help me straighten things out a bit. Oo-er am I finally learning a bit of sense in my old age.:rotfl:

Well today I have my boys with me, they're doing some of the heavy stuff, things out of the loft, some of OH's not used equipment into the garage. I'm going to tackle a bit of ironing.

I'm not religious at all, so you'll never catch me thanking a God I simply don't believe in. However, I do think I am very blessed with having such a wonderful family, - my darling boys and my truly fab sister. Riches beyond rubies.

So sorry Sophisticat, at the moment for me, pacing myself is not nonsense. There can be no grand gestures, or massive action from me, I'm just simply hanging on and doing the best I can.

Fabwise - well for the past few days I have been bathing with my posh dead sea mineral salts and various aromatherapy oils to try and help my back. It's working, the pain and stiffness is starting to ease off now but I am having to nurse it along. I've also managed to do some physio homework to stretch and increase flexibility. Posture is better now. I've even managed to build in a few tummy/ab crunches, very gently though. Have another physio booked for next Wednesday.

So ..........getting there.

Hope you are all having a good weekend. x Still feeling a bit raw about J's death.

Skymist

My condolences LL....XXX and :grouphug: . As if you haven't enough on you plate as it is!!!

Many belated "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" wishes Bratz :bdaycake:, and I hope you had a marvellous time!! Nice to have another Sagittarian on board. I'm creeping through the door to my 62nd year tomorrow....where did all the time go?LOL

Loving the size of you new glasses tru.....where you drinking from them when you dressed in your matching Zebra print undies, I wonder? LOL

PP, really good to hear that you've sorted out OH's gran...such a shame that the rest of his family can treat an elderly lady without any consideration for her health and safety!!!

Willow, those cotton gloves really do help whatever hand cream you use, to soak in, but it does feel strange wearing gloves to bed!

Hallo to all you other Lovelies....hoping that everyone is managing to get into their Christmas stride and spirit without too much panic or stress.....Google is also in on the act of trying to "Christmasify" (I don't think that there is such a word!LOL) us:-

http://crave.cnet.co.uk/software/google-let-it-snow-makes-your-browser-christmassy-50006443/

On the fab-front, I'm still VLCarbing, so my weight remains stable, and being on my own, I'm in complete control as to what comes into the house food-wise, so I've been able to resist ALL those lovely Christmasy treats!! I established my beauty routine many years ago, and have stuck to it rigidly over the years... I wash my face with coconut soap... I used to use Cussons Imperial Leather, and I don't know whether it's just me, but it just doesn't smell the same (not as nice) as it used to!........, and then a serum, and over the top of that, a moisturiser, the latter two varying as to a) whatever is new...AND affordable....or b) whatever I may be trialing!

I do have a problem with hands over the winter, often getting wee cracks, like paper cuts, that sting like hell, and find the only way to get rid of them is to put tea-tree cream on them, cover with a plaster and leave them on overnight. I have tried so many handcreams, emollients, wearing gloves with cream on overnight etc., a but all to no avail, so I just have to put up with it! I always use rubber gloves for household chores...ever since the days of using Napisan ...and always wear gloves when I'm out and about.But I'm grateful that this is my only problem during the cold winter months...so many people suffer far greater health problems than little skin cracks!!!

Right....that's quite enough rabbiting from me....have a great day all of you, and remember this time next week, you'll hopefully be enjoying the rest of your Christmas day, as all the hard work will be over!

S

Callisto

Hi all, I have been away from MSE for a few days. I didn't switch my computer on at all on Thursday, which is most unlike me!

LL - So sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. Make sure you buy something lovely with your vouchers that makes you feel special, as you deserve it.

Bratz - Happy (belated) Birthday.

Skymist - Happy Birthday (in case I don't get on tomorrow.)

Sophistica - Interesting to hear you say 'take massive action'. My sister is like this, in anything she does she goes above and beyond. I'm more of a cautious soul, I like to think for a while and then take small steps to achieve things. Ideally I would like to be a balance of the two, I will go for my goals, but not completely exhaust myself!

I have realised that you do need to actually set goals and go for them, otherwise no goals = no achievements. It has taken me a while to work this out as I have done quite a lot of drifting through life. It was this thinking that spurred me into starting the Open University course.

Does anyone take part in the Day Zero Project? Link here. Basic idea is that you set yourself 101 goals to complete within 1001 days. My current list is due to finish in May 2013, and I need to get on with completing more of it once Christmas is over. The author of the site also posted this as an alternative New Years Resolution list:

7 things for 2012

1. Learn how to...
2. Start...
3. Stop...
4. Take a holiday to...
5. Find...
6. Try...
7. Be more...

I will definitely be compiling this list on January 1st!

Willow92

LL - I am so sorry to hear about your friend's husband *hug*

Hope everyone's okay and progressing well fabwise.

I'm just looking on ebay for some dresses to go with my tights.

fedupandskint

Firstly - my condolences LL

As for me, I have been for a mid length countryside walk high on the tops in ankle deep snow and biting winter wind chill. It was great as the skies cleared to reveal a bright blue sky. What a wonderful enjoyable walk it was today great fun frollicking in the snow and taking lots of photos to preserve the memories of a beautiful winter day. Looking forward to the next one!

At least plenty of kcals were burnt off and then replaced by a big bowl of gorgeous stew and dumplings for tea!

I have cleansed, exfoliated and face masked this evening and slathered on a lot of facial balm and moisturiser as it was pretty harsh out there today. Skin feeling back to normal now.

Just relaxing now trying to find something to watch with a nice glass of rum and coke. Old fashioned I know, but reminds me of when I used to drink this in an old fashioned pub with a snug when I was younger with friends (20yrs ago). These pubs don't exist anymore as they are boarded up and closed down. Plus I'm quite happy with one glass instead of several glasses of wine so not too bad either kcal wise!

Bitsy_Beans

Lucky you Sparkles on your lovely winternday. We had rain

Not much fabbing going on aside from the basics. Am back to eating everything in sight