Stephie's 100 Strokes of the Brush before Bed

rdchick

My poor baby brother, he and his long time girlfriend of 5/6 years split up yesterday and he's in ruins... breaks my heart too...

She's gone to uni in Brighton and wants independence. My bro goes there when he can (he's just been made redundant too) but she says she doesn't want to see him... Know the story so well as have been on both ends myself but he's so lovely and it makes me sad too...

Plus she was gonna be my bridesmaid in my imaginary wedding lol xxx

kerri_dfw

Sorry to hear about your brother

If it's any help I'm with your OH on holding off a proposal as I don't think you really know someone until you've been with them a good few years, especially as you grow as a person really quickly from 18-30 and your outlook in 3 years time might be quite different to now.

Whilst I remember, you should investigate Noddle, it's a free credit report and will save you £7/month. I notice you haven't put your experian on your SaR, have you started a spending diary yet? I find mine invaluable it's really helped me see where the pennies are falling through my fingers.

Sorry for all the pages on mine, I tend to spill my thoughts straight down as they're easier to decipher once they're out there. I've learnt so much in the past few months it's unbelievable and I think my family are fed up of hearing about finances haha, although my sister has started couponing so maybe it's rubbing off.

Hope you have a good weekend, I'm down your way going to visit my parents + sister/nephew in Bournemouth.

rdchick

Yes Kerri, I definitely need to do a spending diary. It's gonna be a poo weekend, I didn't get paid from my second job this week because it's taken from the week you got paid but didn't work over Christmas Didn't realise that and now I have 1 bar of petrol in my tank and zilch pennies! Payday from the main job on Tuesday which cannot come quick enough...

I have given up on the proposal thing now, it will happen when it happens... lots will be changing over the next few years and we can't afford to get married so I have given up caring with that one lol!

I have got Noddle but they rarely update it... Equifax do update theirs a lot but you're right I don't really need it and probably should cancel it.

Aww Bournemouth is lovely, have a great time! xxx

rdchick

*sigh*

It's all getting me down again... Tuesday seems like forever away.

I am going to start my spending diary too as I need to make sure I work out exactly what I am spending on. I am also going ebay stuff this weekend, lots of clothes, shoes and stuff that I don't need or use, that will make me feel better too

February is a 'save' month as I have my boyfriends birthday on the 20th, which means I will have to save £150 from my main wage and £30 each week from my second job so I should have £240 by the time his birthday rolls round for our trip to Cardiff as I need to pay for the night away and for a meal while we are there Will be good and a good test for me to save... I need to learn how to not spend what's not mine! Will be a tight month but only a 4 week month xxx

kerri_dfw

Hi Stephie, I don't want to seem overly negative but can I ask where you are staying in Cardiff as 1/4 of your wages on one night sounds an awful lot. Could you possibly get the coach (£10-15 return per person) and then stay in a b&b/premier inn? This would probably halve your spend and you can still have a nice time. You could then put the other half of the money towards your debts to be closer to your goal of being debt free by October Hope you don't mind me saying that, I'm just trying to be helpful.

rdchick

Hi Kerri,

I guess it's a case of being with someone who earns almost tripple what I do and feeling guilty on the amount he spends on me. The hotel we are staying in is a very nice 5* with spa and stuff, which I got for £109, looks great and really special. The meal shouldn't come to a great deal, I will see if I can get a coupon for somewhere nice and the rest will be like a cushion as I get so scared when I have to pay for stuff that I won't have enough! So any I don't spend will go back on credit card one or anywhere else that I decide needs paying.

I know this sort of 'keeping up with the Jones'' is what is keeping me in debt but it also makes me feel better in a way too... as that's all the money I will spend on him til xmas... xxx

kerri_dfw

Aw you sound like my OH, he's a student at the moment in Cardiff and I feel really guilty when I spend money on him because I know he can't afford it. So we have a compromise that I can only spend money if I earn it through vouchers that way it's technically free I know that if I spent loads of money on him he'd feel really bad (he's told me so), so I'm not allowed to. He buys me a small thing of chocolate everytime he comes to see me and I'm overwhelmed with how sweet that is, it's better than big flashy presents because it's from the heart.
Does your OH know about your debts? If he knew that him spending loads of money on you was making you feel bad because you can't afford it, then he might ease up a bit which might make your situation better.
We've all been there though, that's how we end up in this situation. My money used to go on meals out, presents, etc for my family and very little on myself. *hugs*
The hotel sounds fab by the way. I will try to remember the good, cheaper, restaurants we've been to so I can recommend them to you. I know a good veggie one

rdchick

Yeah it is hard, he does know about them and he helps me out when I need it and stuff, we're very much a that's your money, this is mine sort of relationship, that's how I want it anyway, he suggested a joint account when we moved in together but although it has its pros it also has the massive con of temptation... He has some debts too... All I know is he has a £2k credit card, that's all I know.

My debt came from a previous relationship where I was a student, working 3 jobs and paying for a boyfriend who had a lot of debt... we lived together so stuff like bills I always paid and he would just give me half the rent. I was a complete mug and it's why I feel guilty about paying a third of the rent and nothing else as my boyfriend pays all the rest. I used to give him £500 rent... that's half my wage! I guess I just need to think about things in percentages and that would give me a better handle on my spending... a bit like the demotivator thingy on here...

So yeah... just seen 20% off Frankie and Bennies, that would be good, I shall keep an eye out on it as it's his favourite resturant xxx

kerri_dfw

Mmmm Frankie and Bennies I shall keep an eye out for you as well as something always crops up. Is it a weekend you're going on? You have to be careful with vouchers on weekends grr.

rdchick

It's the Sunday we are going on so we can use the voucher on the Monday if needs be Thanks for keeping an eye out though! xxx