How to deal with people like this?

j.e.j.

Charlies_Mummy wrote: »

As far as I'm concerned she has had her chance with me and she has been rude and just unpleasant to be around, and to be honest I can't be bothered. I have enough friends, and I don't feel the need to make extra ones at swimming lessons. I really can't be bothered to have to start correcting a grown adult and generally getting involved in something that might cause friction.

:T
I've felt like this several times, LOL

Yes, if that's her personality, just leave her to get on with it.

Nicki

bluenoseam wrote: »

See this is where being like me is an advantage (i generally don't care about upsetting people if something needs said) - but i understand you'd probably prefer to avoid my f-off solution. (as Billy Connolly says, it's universal and isn't ambiguous and says it perfectly ) If you want to be more pleasant about it i'd say "listen, to be honest you REALLY do my head in - so i'd rather not speak to you" and hope she takes the hint.

:eek::eek:

That is FAR more rude than anything the OP has quoted the problem lady as saying. If I overheard anyone say that to someone, or Heaven forbid, someone said it to me, I'd cut them stone dead forever.

I cannot believe that you think that your suggested comment is in anyway "pleasant". It isn't any more pleasant than your f off alternative to be honest!

Miss_Scrooge_2

Nicki wrote: »

:eek::eek:

That is FAR more rude than anything the OP has quoted the problem lady as saying. If I overheard anyone say that to someone, or Heaven forbid, someone said it to me, I'd cut them stone dead forever.

I cannot believe that you think that your suggested comment is in anyway "pleasant". It isn't any more pleasant than your f off alternative to be honest!

Well it's honest, to the point and not open to interpretation. I think that's what the OP wants. If the woman cuts her off stone dead, I think that would be a blessing. :rotfl:

Charlies_Mummy

I honestly think that even if I did go as far as to say it to that woman, she just wouldn't "get" it and would probably carry on talking about herself.

chewynut

Charlies_Mummy wrote: »

I honestly think that even if I did go as far as to say it to that woman, she just wouldn't "get" it and would probably carry on talking about herself.

I had a friend like that when I was at school. No matter how many times you tried to tell her that she wasn't a very nice person, she'd always demand examples, use excuses like 'but you do this and you do that and I find this really annoying' despite that not having anything to do with the matter at hand. Then she'd make an effort to be nice for a few weeks until she inevitably slipped back into her old ways.

(I eventually sorted it out by getting into a massive catfight with her where I tore chunks of her hair out and ripped her shirt so she had to walk half-naked through school. She never lived the humiliation down and refused to ever come near me again. But violence is not the answer! )

Charlies_Mummy

Chewynut, that has really made me laugh.

RedBern

j.e.j. wrote: »

I think your idea of sending your husband to take DD to swimming lessons for a few weeks might work. This woman seems to be the sort who attaches themselves to one person probably because they won't get such an easy time behaving like that with a group of people.

People who are constantly putting others down and bigging themselves/their offspring up must be insecure deep down and I suspect this woman is quite lonely.

yep - as long as we don't have a thread in a month's time saying 'swimming class mummy stole my husband'

Ignore her, take a book and read. She'll soon take the hint.

heretolearn_2

Don't let her drive you away from the poolside, it's so sweet to watch your child splashing around and learning to swim. (Apart from when they get older and do snorkelling lessons instead for two terms and all you ever see is a random head or flipper briefly breaking the surface, then it's just downright boring.)

I'd do the Ipod route, I can still watch my child, but she won't interrupt. If she is really awful and does interrupt just say 'sorry I can't talk, i'm listening to this tonight' and turn away.

Or go in and sit next to another mum and do not catch her eye when she comes in.

Or take a notebook and pen and pretend to be writing stuff, again if she interrupts says 'sorry I can't talk, I'm working tonight' and turn away.

Or lurk around until after she sat down and go and sit down away from her.

Or take a big bottle of really nasty cheap stinky perfume and keep spraying it round me and her every 5 minutes or so and drive her away...

Fake a really dreadful dreadful cold and sneeze on her...

Eat 3 tins of beans beforehand and fart a lot. She won't sit next to you next week.

Or come back with something really ridiculously over the top as a response whenever she says something to brag, like when she says her daughter is doing really well at school, say your daughter has just taken the Mensa membership tests and Cambridge are holding place for her to go and do a Maths degree next year. Or if she says, yes we are going on a two weeks holiday to the Caribbean, say you've signed the whole family up for the first Virgin space centre flight in 2015. If you one-up her every time in a way that makes her look daft she'll quickly move on to the next victim.

meritaten

for gawds sake............how long does a swimming lesson last? an hour max? is it really too much to ask to let this poor woman sit and bump her gums for a while? do you have anything better to do? She is a lonely, pathetic woman who feels the need to 'big' her child up - probably her child is her only focus in life and why not agree the kid is the brightest, smartest, fastest most stunning child in the universe - you dont have to believe it! and the way one or two have suggested belittling the child - if I heard you do that I would think you were a horrible person. the woman only wants to talk and brag a little! where is the harm in that?

The way some of you have responded and the awful things you say to do, my bet is not one of you would actually DO them - just 'bigging' yourselves up!

If you really cannot face talking to the woman, then as most of the reasonable posters suggest, just take an ipod and listen to music and DONT remove the earphones. Though personally I think this is very rude behaviour!

celyn90

I don't think it is a bad thing if you are unhappy or uncomfortable to want to distance yourself. Do you know any of the other parents that you could sit with?

I actually feel sorry for her to be honest. Some people just don't come across well and feel unhappy in a social situation and don't know how to make small talk.

It's natural for a parent to be proud their little one; and maybe she is doing well at school. I love the comments on here assuming her daughter is average - it doesn't matter, her mum is proud of her. How about saying "well done and that you are happy for her" instead? You don't need to follow it with a comparison to your own DD. That is probably all she needs or wants to hear. It doesn't sound nasty to me. Socially difficult if the tone is wrong, maybe, but nasty? Not sure.

"Well the teacher won't move her up until she's GOOD" - how about a reply like "Oh yes, it's important that they are fully confident in the water". It doesn't always need to be tit-for-tat or a points scoring exercise.

pinkcandyflossprincess wrote: »

you dont need it, alternatively you good turn loony !!!!! yourselve and crack up laughing if her daughter makes an error in the pool, shouting your daughters such a clod etc, she wont like her little darling insulted and is liable to self destruct:rotfl:

I am sorry, but I don't think insulting a child for an innocent mistake to get at the parent is appropriate.