How to deal with people like this?

Charlies_Mummy

I take my 6 year old DD swimming every Saturday morning. Parents sit on seats at the poolside to watch and a mother of another girl that is in the lesson has attached herself to me. She seems to be the sort of person that just puts you down constantly whilst she talks to you, and everything she says has a sting in the tail. I've tried to be friendly and to have decent conversations with her but everything goes the same way. For example the first week (they've been going 3 weeks) I asked her which school her daughter attends and she said "XXXXX School and she's doing EXTREMELY well".

Then today she came and sat with me and first of all she said "oh your DD is swimming with no armbands now" and I said "yes I'm really pleased with her" and she said "Well the teacher won't move her up until she's GOOD". I don't really care TBH which group DD is in as long as she learns to swim and enjoys her lessons. Then she started talking about her older daughter getting bullied at school and I said mine had too and we'd moved schools a couple of years ago because the school hadn't sorted it out and she said "Well they wouldn't get away with that with ME because I would sort it out if my daughter was bullied". Everything has a nasty undertone with her. If i speak, she cuts in and talks about herself, she doesn't listen at all.

I know she's probably like this because she's a hugely insecure person, but what is the best way to deal with people like this? Am I best sending DH for a few weeks with DD to "break" the cycle of her sitting with me? Or how is best to deal with her? Thanks

rachbc

take a book or an ipod and headphones!

balletshoes

or wait a few minutes more than usual before you take your seat, so the other mum has already sat next to someone else .

mishkanorman

I get up and walk away, Im afraid I dont have the tolerance to panter to people I dont gel with now. I work sometimes in a pub and we get all sorts, from the lonely but essentially nice to the outright weird, you need to decide what your opinion of this lady is, will you ever be friends or will she continue to grate on you ?

You dont need to be rude, just obvious.

Good luck !

chewynut

Depends how rude you feel like being.

I'd personally go with the iPod/music suggestion. But some people don't realise how rude or negative they are. I know my sense of humour can border on rudeness when I don't think about what I'm saying so maybe she doesn't realise she's not being nice.

If you're feeling brave you could point it out to her. Worst case scenario she gets a huff on and stops talking to you

shy-but-need-help

Can you go and sit nearer to the other parents so you're not on your own when she spies you and comes to sit down? You might find that if you're already sat with a group she'll head to another person sat on their own.

Charlies_Mummy

I don't think I could ever be friends with her. She seems like a total know-all and the kind of person that no one really likes and everyone gives a wide berth to. I mentioned her to a friend the other day and she knows her as they work at the same place and she said this woman is unpopular at work.

I think this week I'm going to just acknowledge her and then make it obvious I don't want to talk. We generally sit at the poolside but there is a cafe at the gym the pool is at, so I could go and sit there. She wouldn't sit at the cafe as she likes to sit near her little darling and yell out encouragement to her:eek:

chewynut

There's always one!

I'd definitely avoid and or ignore her until she gets the message.

mishkanorman

Urgh, people like that can be really draining ! I would literally avoid her to start with, if she starts to follow you about get tough and excuse yourself and move.

Charlies_Mummy

I think she makes a beeline for me as she feels she "knows" me as our daughters were at nursery together for a few months before school. Only a couple of sessions a week and they didn't play together. I never spoke to this mum then but she made a beeline for me on the first day as she remembered me.

mum2one

Maybe she doesn't realise that she is that brunt, me if it happened again and she commented on about what she would do, I would say something like, unfortunately I would x,y,z, but then again if we all the same the world would be a boring place. Yes to a point ur being blunt, but doing it in a polite way and if she thinks about it, she may just realise what you mean,