Bridesmaid has got FAT - what do you do

Birdie85

Completely agree about the double-standards Katerinasol, no-one says to someone, 'Oh my God, you're so fat, how'd you do it?!'...

Similar thing happened to my friend, she bought her dresses from Forever Yours, so essentially made to order with the price tag to go with it. One of the BM's had a larger size ordered 'just in case' and with 10 days to go she tried it on for the final fitting and it wouldn't fit, not even close. Luckily she went on a strict diet and did some exercise so it zipped up on the day, so there may be hope for your BM Alarafan, but she'll have to be strict and take it seriously, which it is, as if she's that size she's bound to be an unhealthy weight and it's not good for her. If she needs support then by all means give it to her, offer to be her exercise buddy if it helps, claim you need lose weight to fit into your dress!

If I were you, I'd give all of the girls their dresses and say I want to see them in them a few days before the wedding (so as to not single out one girl); if it still doesn't fit then sadly she'll have to wear something else and come as a guest or she can find and pay for a replacement (with your approval of course). It's all very good being nice about sensitive subjects such as weight gain but I'm guessing you don't have room in your budget for more bridesmaid dresses which you shouldn't have to buy.

rubysmummy_2

Could you maybe get a seamstress to put a lace up back in? i was a maid of honour for my best friend and she ordered all our dresses 9 months before the wedding, i lost a lot of weight so needed it altering, her sister had put two dress sizes on, luckily we had shawls with our dresses so the seamstress just took our shawls and put extra panels in her dress and put a lace up back which did the trick with a panel behind it so you couldnt see her back. No one noticed that her dress back was differnt to ours and it made her feel a whole lot better as it fitted her properly. (she was nearly in tears when we all went for our fittings and she realised how much weight she had put on). Could you maybe search ebay for a second hand cheap dress and use the fabric from that to put panels in if needs be??

hp3

Wow, what a thread lol!

I'm going to stick my nose in now, I completely understand and am with you on buying the bridesmaid dresses when you see them. I dont get married for two years and have already bought two of mine (small sizes) as there were so cheap and exactly what I wanted I couldnt walk away without them. Normally bridesmaid dresses are anything from £120 and over each, this is such an expense when chances are there not going to ever wear again. i have two larger bridesmaids that I have not yet bought dresses for, mainly because they didnt have their size, but also becuase their weight yo yo's so much. I have their sizes at the min but one is having a baby and eating takeaways like there going out of fashion whilst my other one is very homesick after moving away so could either be comort eating or not eating because she's upset. I think you may need to find out if anything has happend with your friend for this to happen and like other people have said, give them the dresses to try on that way they can decide themselves what they want to do in regards to weight. Lots of people need something to work towards. One of my maids is pregnant and is happy I have her size as it gives her something to work towards after the baby. You did the right thing in taking their sizes and still ordering a size bigger just incase, obviously you must have had an instinct!

I hope all goes well and I'm sure they will all look beautiful!.

yimmie

This is probably the funniest thread i've read in a while!!
I personally would speak to her and say that *you* (myself, not her) need to lose some weight and would she come to the gym or something with you?
maybe do a fun class like Zumba / swimming ... invite all of your bridesmaids to go so she isn't singled out?
I would say you need to get them to try the dresses on asap!
If, the dresses don't fit numerous bm's how about getting them to pay for replacements?! they were the ones that said to you that they will lose weight and haven't... which i suppose is an inconvenience to you!
Hope this helps
x

Anglea

You might have something else to think about too.

I was a bridesmaid and slim but was bit shocked to be told off by the bride after the wedding because she thought I ruined some of the photos in my dress.

In a few shots, because I was standing slightly side ways on, I lowered the bouquet and must have been breathing out right the moment the camera clicked, so my stomach looked prominent

In the rest of the photos with my bouquet higher the photos looked very nice.

I don't know if it was just the bride being picky or would everyone have a problem with position of bouquets? (I've got no recollection of worrying about this when I got wed and had two bridesmaids, unless I've just forgotten)

nykied

katerinasol wrote: »

A bit off-topic, but I find it kind of double standards that it's ok to call someone 'skinny' but 'fat' is offensive. It's not like the OP is going round saying, 'Oh she's turned into a massive whale' or anything.

Sorry to keep this OT, but I totally agree with you. One of my friends has been mentioning a fair bit that I'm skinny (I'm a size 6-8 and she's not long had a baby) and there have been comments about how I need to eat more. I eat more than anyone I know and I've never been on a diet in my life!

I almost fainted at a wedding on Friday and I got the comments again. I snapped and said that it was offensive, it was upsetting me and that it was just the same as saying to someone, 'Whoa, you're fat! You need to eat less!' :mad:

Birdie85

Anglea wrote: »

You might have something else to think about too.

I was a bridesmaid and slim but was bit shocked to be told off by the bride after the wedding because she thought I ruined some of the photos in my dress.

In a few shots, because I was standing slightly side ways on, I lowered the bouquet and must have been breathing out right the moment the camera clicked, so my stomach looked prominent

This is something to think about; maybe taking some test photos is a good idea! Dresses can look lovely in person but photos can pick up the little flaws that you miss. For my friend's wedding we wore chiffon dresses which were lovely and skimmed over problem areas IRL, but on some of the photos you can see where our belly buttons are because of how the fabric clings in that area! :eek:

Blobby8_2

alarafan wrote: »

just because someone is size 18 does not mean they are fat

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
You just made my day.

JoeyG

they could be 6'8"

Gleeful

Anglea wrote: »

You might have something else to think about too.

I was a bridesmaid and slim but was bit shocked to be told off by the bride after the wedding because she thought I ruined some of the photos in my dress.

What!!! Are you still friends with this girl? I wouldn't be!

I had 8 bridesmaids sized between a 6 and a 24. I didn't ask any of them to lose weight or tell any of them that they looked fat in the pictures. Normal people don't care about these things! One of my BM's was too big for her dress, never mind,we just got a seamstress to add an extra panel in the back, problem solved!

A good tip is to buy dresses with a corset back. These can allow for massive fluctutation in size.