Bridesmaid has got FAT - what do you do

sammy_wheeler

good idea about letting the bm having the dress

and please ask your FRIEND how they are and if they need any support in their life-- your wedding is not other peoples high priority-- but your friend maybe needing support and all you have said to us is they are fat and your are worried about the dresses matching

tattybonce

Ok, can anyone tell me why you buy the dresses so really early for?! I don't understand, one person says there is another five months to go before her wedding!

RainbowDrops

This is the reason I left it so late getting dresses.
I didn't want to be stressed myself or put pressure on the girls, especially as my sis was having a baby.

Has the BM actually got the dress, or have you kept them?

Maybe giving them all the dresses (rather than singling her out) would be a good idea - say you want them t be able to try them out so they can match shoes accessories etc if needed.

Don't really know what else to suggest sorry.

alarafan

tattybonce wrote: »

Ok, can anyone tell me why you buy the dresses so really early for?! I don't understand, one person says there is another five months to go before her wedding!

Well, the budget was tight and I saw dresses I liked at a price I could afford and did not know when I would get a similar deal again (they were on sale), so rather wait and not be able to afford anything I liked I bought them.

We paid for the bridesmaids dresses because we did not want anyone to be out of pocket with the expense of being an attendant.

Scotsbride

Is there anyway that she could have the dress in a simlar style but the same colour I would talk to her gently and like OP said maybe leave the dress with her. Of course it would be nice for you if she fitted into the dress but bare in mind that loosing weight can be stressful and you don't want to make her ill by putting undue pressure on her

losingpatience

tattybonce wrote: »

Ok, can anyone tell me why you buy the dresses so really early for?! I don't understand, one person says there is another five months to go before her wedding!

I discussed it with my bridesmaids beforehand. There was an offer for 20% off at the time and rather than wait a few months and have to pay full price I decided to buy them earlier to save myself some money. Also as my bridesmaids wanted smaller sizes then they currently were it meant they could have their dresses ( they all have them at home ) and try them on over the months to see whether they fit etc Rather than buy them with a month to go and them worry they were going to have to go on some kind of crash diet.

I don't really understand why your so outraged at getting dresses however many months before the wedding, I've got enough to organise so wanted it over and done with and now I know what kind of colours I'll need for flowers etc to match the dresses which I wouldn't have known if I had have left it until just before the wedding. At the end of the day people are different and whilst yes some people might be happy buying their dresses a couple of months before their wedding I wasn't, it doesn't mean what I've done is wrong.

zcrat41

The other thing is if you buy dresses from somewhere like Dessy they have a 4 month order time! I ordered mine in Feb - they arrived yesterday and my wedding is on the 25th June!

katerinasol

A bit off-topic, but I find it kind of double standards that it's ok to call someone 'skinny' but 'fat' is offensive. It's not like the OP is going round saying, 'Oh she's turned into a massive whale' or anything.

OP, I know it's stressful knowing that your bridesmaid may not fit into her dress, but she may well be feeling awful about it as well. Do you think she would be able to lose enough weight to fit before your wedding? I think you should be supportive, and not single her out for trying on the dress like someone else said. Maybe invite your bridesmaids round for a glass of wine and a fitting?

Kittendreich

I'd also go for the invite round for a try on, plan accessories and to book in for any alterations...this could be bigger, smaller or just to fit 'better' - no need to get personal by pointing out she's put on weight (I'm sure she feels bad enough about it as it is...I would if someone bought me an expensive dress and then I couldn't wear it).

Depending on the style of the dress a seamstress might be able to extend the seams or put in an extra panel or something to make it fit - but I wouldn't leave it too long as a good seamstress with availability might be difficult to find at this time of year.

Realistically she won't be able to shrink that much in 6 weeks unless she is totally dedicated to it (unlikely as she knew when she had to wear the dress and didn't keep her figure under control) - so good underwear and a good seamstress would be my best suggestion.

alarafan

Enchantica wrote: »

That's a really crappy title to have. Why didn't you just say that your bridesmaid had put on some weight? Being a size 18 bride-to-be, I think that's really offensive. Your bridesmaid has probably been having problems and eating to feel better or maybe she's having medical issues. Did you think to ask her?

Nothing else to say really...

Sorry, I did not mean to offend.
I know it is all relative and just because someone is size 18 does not mean they are fat, they may just be a big person so being a bigger size does not automatically make a person fat.

I am not using the word fat as a moral judgement or anything like that, it is just a fact she has gained a lot of weight and is now very overweight and that is causing some 'technical problems' in the same way as if someone lost 'too much' weight and was now very thin (unhealthily so)