Bridesmaid has got FAT - what do you do

alarafan

I bought the bridesmaids dresses some time ago when they were at a good price. One bridesmaid has always had yo-yo weight. She is normally sort of a 14ish. Since I asked her to be a bridesmaid she has been on and on about how she will be on a diet to look good in the photos etc (no prompting by me) - I got her dress in a 16 so it could be taken in if needs be. I recently saw her and she is bigger than she has ever been. Close to an 18 at least. There are about 6 weeks to the wedding.

The dress is no longer in stock to get it in a bigger size. I don't want to offend her and be like -um do you think you are going to fit into this dress by then? If I put her in a different dress that will be like making her chief bridesmaid when she is not. What to do so as not to offend anyone.

cte1111

Use of the word FAT in relation to the subject will definitely be offensive.

Best bet is to get all the bridesmaids round to try on the dresses and then see where you are. I think bridesmaid's dresses are like wedding dresses and tend to be on the small side anyhow.

codemonkey

I think you need to talk to her to find out what's going on. Maybe ask her to try the dress again then you'll get an idea of how much she has to lose to get into it and whether its possible in the time before your wedding with our without the help of supportive undergarments.

If its not, well, that's another choice between getting a different dress or demoting her.

sammy_wheeler

wow the word fat in your title is not helping you by not being offensive!

I don't even know what to say really!

BanburyBride

alarafan wrote: »

I recently saw her and she is bigger than she has ever been. Close to an 18 at least.

I understand that this is inconvienient for your wedding, I really feel for you, its all very stressful!!

BUT I assume if she is your bridesmaid then she is a close friend, it might be nice to have a chat and make sure that everythig i ok, as someone who struggles with thier weight and is am emotional eater, maybe she has some issues going on at the moment and she might apprciate the support. Especially if she is bigger than she has ever been, she may well be very unhappy at the moment - might be worth a thought?

HisDoris

Maybe ask all your bridesmaids to come over and try their dresses on to 'see if they need any alterations' ... she will then realise she has put weight on and maybe she will loose some before the big day so she fits into the dress?

This way may stop her from feeling totally uncomfortable about the situation!

losingpatience

Whilst your title may be a little on the harsh side I'm having a similar dilemma. Two of my bridesmaids asked me to order their dresses in a smaller size and were adamant they'd lose weight to get into them. There's still 5 months until the wedding but when one of them came round to my house the other day she looks to be 2 sizes bigger than the dress I've got for her and I'm in a complete panic. When she tried it on when I got her it she was spilling out of it and she looks to be even bigger now. My other bridesmaid I've not seen in a while, but I know she's trying to lose weight, she just can't exercise at the moment as she's waiting for an op on her leg so I don't know how her dress is fitting her.

I know I can't really say you need to lose weight, but as selfish as it sounds I don't want to spend £1000's on this wedding and have the photos ruined by my bridesmaids looking like I've got the wrong size dresses for them! I think I'm going to do what someone else has suggested and get them round to try them on and if they are obviously too small maybe try to say something like "would you maybe feel more comfortable if I exchanged it for a different size" but it is so difficult and I don't know if I could bring myself to say anything

alarafan

BanburyBride wrote: »

I understand that this is inconvienient for your wedding, I really feel for you, its all very stressful!!

BUT I assume if she is your bridesmaid then she is a close friend, it might be nice to have a chat and make sure that everythig i ok, as someone who struggles with thier weight and is am emotional eater, maybe she has some issues going on at the moment and she might apprciate the support. Especially if she is bigger than she has ever been, she may well be very unhappy at the moment - might be worth a thought?

Thanks for that - sometimes you get into the Bridezilla mindset and forget that they are not accessories to make your wedding look good but your FRIENDS.

whitewing

Where the bm dress being kept? I am overweight, have lost 1.5 stone so far, but I have very little perception of how I actually look (I still feel the same size most of the time). If the dress is at yours, she may be worrying a lot about her weight and hence eating more. It would be humiliating to have to ask to try it on. There is more chance of her fitting into if she can keep it at her house, and try it on regularly, I would have thought.

Enchantica

That's a really crappy title to have. Why didn't you just say that your bridesmaid had put on some weight? Being a size 18 bride-to-be, I think that's really offensive. Your bridesmaid has probably been having problems and eating to feel better or maybe she's having medical issues. Did you think to ask her?

Nothing else to say really...

floss2

Is there be a possibility that she may be eating for two, and could be growing a baby and not be just "fat" as you state?