Totally confused and do not know what to do

Lost_in_the_mist

Please cancel this posting

relic

You've pretty much given out enough details to figure out who you are if friends and family use this site.

You're both cheating, both seem to be publically advertising it, and seem happy. Sounds like a good match. Oh and by the way, you're not confused, if you're happy to go out in public holding hands and so-on, that's not confusion.

Personally I couldn't think of a worse way to start a relationship, if they're doing it now, what's to say they won't do the same to you in a few years?

mrcow

I'm not sure exactly what you're after by posting on here.

why haven't you just told your wife? If everything is so wonderful and perfect with this new woman, why are you sneaking around having a grubby little affair? Just come out with it openly and move on.

Or is it all just a grubby little affair after all?

Darlyd

Well I don't believe in affairs, as marriage should be taken seriously! However your circumstances of not having a child due to your wife unable too, may have caused this situation. You must take into consideration the hurt you will cause your wife. Ask yourself, Do you love your wife? Are you just in the honey moon period with this other woman? Might just be a spark (due to sex) and nothing else. No one here can make your mind up for you, only you can do that.

Charlie2011

I would say that you only live once and that you have to follow your heart, just make sure this is what you really want and you have not just got caught up in all the excitement that a new relationship provides. Yes people will get hurt the question you have to ask yourself is this new happiness worth the pain and the upset to the other parties involved? I hope this helps and that you manage to get things sorted. I would also like to mention that honesty is the best action to take its better that they find out from you rather than someone else!

Kate78

darlyd wrote: »

However your circumstances of not having a child due to your wife unable too, may have caused this situation.

Sorry but this made me angry. Infertility is not an "off the hook" excuse for playing away!

whitewing

You should have ended your marriage before becoming intimately acquainted with someone else. For goodness sake, don't get the mistress pregnant until you have had the decency to sort out the other relationships.

jackomk

My ex husband was in your position when married to me.......that's why he's an ex !!!!

He soon realized (too late) that an affair was only exciting, when it was an affair.

Sounds like you are just keeping your options open otherwise you would have told your wife.

Darlyd

Kate78 wrote: »

Sorry but this made me angry. Infertility is not an "off the hook" excuse for playing away!

I know. But some men take it upon themselves to use this as an excuse.

My aunty could not have children, her hubby constantly played away, it was like as soon as his mistress fell pregnant he then left my aunty. (in bits may I add).

FBaby

Your biggest problem is this 'a few months ago'.... you are in love, all is perfect, can't see anything going wrong, she is the love of you life, she wants a baby with you, she is the one.... except that isn't it how we all feel when we fall in love at the beginning? Unfortunately, even when all seems so right and perfect at the start is rarely a reflection of how perfect it will continue to be months and years later.

The reality is... you are taking a risk. Yep, you might have found your perfect woman, yes, she might be the love of your life, yes, she might leave her partner, move in with you, start a family and you will live hapilly for ever after and look back and agree that deciding to give everything up for each other was the best decision. Alternatively, you might decide to live your wife, break her heart, see her in pain and feel dreadful about it, battling with the guilt, to see your perfect partner backing down and deciding not to want to give everything up with her partner for you, or even if she does, you might discover later that she isn't your ideal partner after all (quite often the case), and end up with her, confused, and desperately missing your wife, wishing you could turn the clock back and never start this relationship.

You can post your dilemma everywhere you want, no one can tell you where this is taking you. You have to make your decision, stick to it, regardless of the consequences, and accept that it might turn out to be the best or worse one you've ever made.

Darlyd

And you end up on Jeremy Kyle in years to come for a DNA. Sorry but it may back fire, how do you know she is not sleeping with her partner? Or has seen another guy?