Christmas money dilema??

advent1122

Broken_hearted wrote:

I suppose you bank your child benefit as well, its money for the kids not you. How about child tax credit that is also meant for the child. Come on advent get real.

We are talking about gifts given to the child by a relative not benefits given to the parents to clothe and feed a child.
Let's look at it another way.
You give your niece £20 for Christmas and find out it was used by the parent to "clear a debt".
So you would be happy with that?

ChrissieI

nickyhutch wrote:

The OP didn't say she was desperatley in need of the money, though, did she? Just that she felt the children aleady had enough presents. Put the money away for them for when they want something.

It's morally wrong to take your childen's money. It's been given to them, not to you.

Did you not see the OP's signiture she has debt (as do most of us on here)
Why leave the childrens money in the bank and then have to pay interest on her debt?
Thats makes no sense to me

ChrissieI

carolwat wrote:

. its her debt and not her kids so why should they pay for it.
carol

When a family are in debt it affects every member of that family including the children.

If the money is used to get out of debt faster and less interest is paid then the whole family will benefit. Including the children who's money was used in the first place.

nickyhutch

Yes, she doess, Chrissie, and so do I.

It is still my opinion - just that, my opinion, to which I am entitiled, and which I am allowed to air on here - that it is plain wrong to use money that has been given to your children to pay off your debts.

Each to their own. We can't all be the same.

livinginhope

Oddly enough,it was the people who had given my children their money,which was banked into their account,that told us to use the money and not to feel guilty about it,if they don't have a problem with it,why should anyone else?

chocaholic110

Personally if I gave money to family for something for their kids and they pooled it and bought beds or similar I wouldn't have a problem at all. It's something they need and will get good use out of.

Much better idea than buying loads of toys when they've been bought plenty already. Isn't it just a waste of money to buy toys just to spend the money rather than buying something they really, really want?

I did consider using some of my children's savings to get out of debt faster - I haven't but wouldn't frown on anyone who needed the money badly - surely it's better to use it on neccessities in a dire sitaution than have it sitting in the bank and the whole family suffering??

Hay_2

What "IF" some of that debt was from buying the children essentials/requested non-essentials?Like shoes,school trips,the latest "must have",trendy clothes etc??
Personally in this situation I'd let those giving gifts/money KNOW that it was going towards new beds etc.I'd MUCH rather my gift was useful in that way rather than being another toy surplus to requirements...
And sorry...but as trustee on my kids accounts they are in my control until they are 18...so any money I "borrow/steal/NEED to use...I have a fair few years to replace:rolleyes:
Blimey.....

nickyhutch

I don't see my son as owing me for things I've bought him. I decided to have him, and part and parcel of having children is buying them stuff. If you go into debt doing it, then that's YOUR debt, not theirs.

heppy23

I know it's statisically unlikely but what if my baby sons £100 premium bonds won him the £1 million jackpot? Should we just sit on the money in the bank for him until he is 18 or should/could we use the money to buy the family something?
We live in a small but cosy flat, we would love for him to be able to go out the back door into a big garden with a big lawn etc.
I joke that he can buy the house and get first pick of bedrooms!

The bigger question raised by the original post is can we be trusted to do the right thing for our children?
Money is a very emotive subject but there are so many other choices we have to make on their behalf that can have long term impacts - do you get them christened? Do we send them to nursery full time? Which one? Do we encourage them to follow the same football team as us? Do we bombard them with videos to teach them french before they are four? Etc etc.
Parenting is hard, you don't often get a 2nd chance.

I like to think I am doing the right thing with Williams money but only time will tell, same as only time will tell with every choice we have made on his behalf.

I_was_a_fool

And no matter what choices you make, there will be someone who will tell you it was the wrong choice.

You have to do what you feel to be the best in the circumstances you find yourself in (or get yourself into in my case!)

I felt I had betrayed my kids by getting in debt over my head and so risking their home and their security. Actually I still feel that...but if we manage to keep the house & stick with the dmp, I will be able to help them go to uni later on & even leave them a very good sum when I am gone...

So I dont feel guilty about the £300 I have "borrowed" from their savings accounts.