Suspended on pay...likely to be dismissed?

jkkne

I'll keep this brief.

Was pulled into the DM's Office this morning and told an allegation of harassement has been made against me and that I was suspended on pay pending an investigation.

The accuser is someone who I thought I was friends with. We get on well, send flirty emails and texts and I admit to having a crush on her. I'm saved under a girls name in her mobile as her boyfriend is jealous of her having too many male friends.

I admit I really like her and text her a lot, but I understand she has a boyfriend and our relationship. We've agreed to be strictly work friends a couple of times but always gone back to our old ways.

We don't see each other outside of work and we never ring each other. Its always texts and internal email.

I was very very very drunk one night and used an old facebook account to tell her boyfriend she'd cheated on him. Which I admitted to the DM straightaway. However this was 3 months ago and the apology was accepted, I'm still not even sure it was me. She told me it was traced.

Now. We agreed to stop texting and emailing and I deleted her name from my phone and that was Wednesday. No contact since until I get pulled into the office.

I know the facebook thing was very stupid and wrong but I thought it was closed. Her and her boyfriend are fine and there's been no reprecussion at work because of it. Neither of our work performances have been affected by this.

I dont save my texts or voicemails from her (or anyone) and shes trying to paint this as a one way thing.

I don't think it looks good for me and I think I could be out of my job because of it and it seems so unfair

Does anyone have thoughts

spadoosh

If someone lied to your partner about you cheating on them would you have complained.

I don't think it looks too good either. All you can do is plead your case that it was a 2 way thing and that the facebook comment not only was stupid but massively disrespectful and hope for the best.

Im sure you will be much more careful in future who you flirt with

relic

I do.

Workplace /= primary school playground.

She obviously has plenty of evidence, you don't. Start looking for something new, and next time, don't go after women who already have partners.

heretolearn_2

Maybe sh'es had 3 months of grief from her boyfriend who no longer trusts her and is angry that she still works with someone she's been flirting with and claims to have had sex with her, understandably. Maybe she's decided the only way to salvage her relationship is to get you out of the workplace, as it's easier than finding a new job herself.

Next time don't act the fool. Flirting etc doesn't belong at work these days. Drunken facebooking lies to break up someone's relationship is ridiculous and I'm not surprised you are on a disciplinary for it.

bcfc1710

Offer to resign, that way you will not have a sacking on your CV

jkkne

heretolearn wrote: »

Maybe sh'es had 3 months of grief from her boyfriend who no longer trusts her and is angry that she still works with someone she's been flirting with and claims to have had sex with her, understandably. Maybe she's decided the only way to salvage her relationship is to get you out of the workplace, as it's easier than finding a new job herself.

Next time don't act the fool. Flirting etc doesn't belong at work these days. Drunken facebooking lies to break up someone's relationship is ridiculous and I'm not surprised you are on a disciplinary for it.

I didn't claim to sleep with her and her boyfriend doesn't know me at all. I feel totally appalled by my behaviour

I accept I was wrong. I thought the matter was closed and the apology accepted.

I accept I was in the wrong but it seems strange to bring it all up now. I have Union representation on this but doubt they can do much.

saintjammyswine

Sorry but I think they might be right. Could be one to chalk up to experience (not a good one either by the sounds of it).

jonnyd281

bcfc1710 wrote: »

Offer to resign, that way you will not have a sacking on your CV

Any reference could still state resigned whilst disciplinary action pending.

vax2002

jkkne wrote: »

I have Union representation on this but doubt they can do much.

Your screwed they are too bothered about the perks they get to rock the boat.
Get a sicknote for stress YESTERDAY , take the six months free pay, dont attend any meetings until you are well, which will be when the cash stops, use this time to find another job

sciencegeek

hmm, i suspect that if the story is exactly as you say it you could argue for defamation of character - after all you dont believe you have harrassed her right? Of course, you have defamed her character by claiming she has cheated on her partner too... in any case, if it went far enough you could probably request phone records from the mobile operator that will show her contacting you as well as you contacting her.

jkkne

sciencegeek wrote: »

hmm, i suspect that if the story is exactly as you say it you could argue for defamation of character - after all you dont believe you have harrassed her right? Of course, you have defamed her character by claiming she has cheated on her partner too... in any case, if it went far enough you could probably request phone records from the mobile operator that will show her contacting you as well as you contacting her.

That was my thought. Work have pulled all the emails between us.

I should explain. I wasn't having a fling with her no have any intention. I simply had a crush on her.

At no point did she ask me to stop texting (she always replied) or made any note that it was inappropriate or ask me to stop and being rather insecure on things, I did ask her this