Working to live or living to work?

findingmyownway

I am part of a couple. We both work full time and OH has an illness which makes him more susceptible to wanting to spend whole days in bed!

We manage 'life' by having a cleaner (2.5 hours every fortnight, she irons too), I do the washing on a daily basis (a load in every other morning, hang up when home from work or while OH is setting dialysis equip up before bed), I try my best to meal plan and cook fresh food most nights but its usually a 30 min meal tops, while things are simmering etc I make sure the dishwasher and kitchen are clean. In a morning I make our lunches for work and take breakfast up to OH in bed before I leave. Apart from that I don't do that much housework. We generally have a tidying blitz before the cleaner comes (and have TONS of cardboard boxes to break down due to OH's dialysis equipment, they're hidden in the spare room most of the time though so its a once-a-week job). For the shopping either I go on way home from work or get home delivery online - no way would I spend every Saturday doing that!!

We both play sport during the week (hence the need for quick and easy meal planning), usually OH does 1 night and I do 2/3. Saturday morning OH catches up on sleep while I play sport again, then by the time I get back he's feeling a bit more human and we have brunch together and do 'something'. Sundays similar really, we do like to get out into the countryside and he often wants to treat me to a country pub lunch after I've looked after and cooked for him all week :-)

caledonian_princess

I love my weekends, I like to lie in bed until lunchtime and I like to sit about in my pjs for the rest of the day. In order to achieve such a level of splendid laziness I get my shopping delivered during the week and do my washing, ironing and cleaning on weekday evenings. Some nights I don't sit down until 9 or 10 but for me it's worth it to be able to do what I like on Saturday and Sunday.

rainyday12

I'm not marry now, but i also feel the weekends is too short, my weekends are always spent with my boyfriend, cooking together or watching TV together, my job only have 1 rest day per week.

Benson

JodyBPM wrote: »

As a (part-time) working mum of two children, when I read your post, I actually thought how MUCH free time you seemed to have - every evening plus a whole weekend day to chill - that would be total luxury to me

But TBH, I only learned to value and manage my time after I had the children when I truly didn't have any! It was only once they came along that I realized how much time I could have had if I hadn't wasted it!

I couldn't agree more with this, if only I had appreciated it and done more with my time!!!

getmore4less

If you get up and work the same hours as the OH most of the stuff would get done during the week.
So get up at the same time and stop when he gets home, do the shopping cleaning cooking etc.

If tired at the weekend go to bed earlier during the week at least a couple of nights

Stop watching TV(it makes you stagnate), go for walks or sit in the garden have friends round for BBQ a couple of hours only no late night drinking

Could OH do an extended day and stay local one night a week getting time back on say a Monday or a Friday.

Could you plan weekends/days away where you go via OH work so he does not have to come home first.

You say finances are an issue to getting out of the commute rut due to jobs. One activity not sure if you are doing it is budget/planning and money management.

Get something like MSMOney and track spendings and saving every morning before you go to work. Knowing where every penny goes can help improve savings rates and reduce low value discretionary spends.
You might for example have a big sky/cable package to compensate, cut that back and it will pay for the weekends away.

Check out the holiday inn 2-4-1 thread on the holiday board, we pick up 2 mights in expresses for £30. then there are travelodges and premier inns or de-veres often £20pn

What do you do with your holidays, we tried to make sure we went away for all of them, so no hanging around at home for those days.

DevilsAdvocate1

Snuggles wrote: »

I'm feeling really frustrated with life at the mo, and don't know if I just need a good kick up the posterior, or if it's pretty much like this for everyone.

Me and OH both work full time and we don't have children. OH has a three hour total commute each day, so leaves at 7am and gets home about 7pm. I'm usually home around 6. So during the week, evenings are spent just having dinner, washing up, preparing next day's lunches, a bit of relaxing time, and then early to bed.

By the time the weekend arrives we are both tired and tend to sleep late (usually until 9 but sometimes until 10). It's so nice not to have to rush around getting ready for work, and by the time we've had a leisurely breakfast and got ourselves showered and sorted, it's late morning. On Saturday's we then go out and get the grocery shopping and any other necessary errands done, followed by duty visits to parents. Then home and get on with the laundry, housework, gardening etc, then dinner, a film, and bed. Sundays we really like to do as little as possible, OH likes his computer games, I usually have some TV to catch up on that I haven't had chance to watch during the week, or reading, sitting in the garden etc. Somehow the time just rushes by and suddenly it's Monday morning again.

We both feel that we should be making more of the weekends, there's a big wide world out there, and we 're not making the most of it. But we never seem to have the energy! Sunday would be the obvious day to get out and and do something, but we both really value having that one lazy day, so we make plans but then when Sunday comes we invariably decide not to bother!

I know it sounds silly but I really resent the fact that work takes up so much time and energy. We both earn reasonable salaries but are not in a position to reduce hours or anything like that. I just feel like it's work, work, work, and weekends are spent just doing the domestics and recharging the batteries in preparation for more work, work, work.

So I was wondering, what do you do with your weekend? Is it just us or is what I am describing fairly common? I have this idea that everyone else is off doing exciting things every weekend, or are most people just getting on with the necessary stuff?

When we both worked full time I had a cleaner, so at least no cleaning at the weekend. She also did the ironing. Instead of washing line, I have a tumber dryer. Yes it costs more, but it saves so much time. It only takes a few minutes to put the washing in and I would do this a couple of evenings a week.

As for food shopping, could you do this online. I also used to shop fornightly and make use of my freezer for items like meat. Then it was just a quick pop to the local shop for fruit and vegetables.

Not the cheapest way to do things, but when we were both working full time it was time which was important and we were prepared to pay more in order to free up time.

HTH.

KxMx

I've found with housework, 5 minutes before bed tidying dinner things/ recycling/ putting anything i've gotten out away makes alot of difference, it's amazing. As does wiping counter/oven after cooking/food prep and chucking pots and pans in sink before eating the meal, it takes seconds sometimes.

Doesn't help with the heavy stuff but it does free up more time so overall it's a gain.

If you can afford a cleaner for the heavy stuff then go for it!

Sarah2100

I think its very hard at the moment to get or even hold a job, I think our country being part of europe doesnt help, this gives europeans the right to come and work in the UK when they please. Other countries like Turkey etc are ment to be joining the euro therefore all having an adverse effect on citezens of the UK in obtaining or maintaining employment. This is nobodys fault my opinion is simply that its down to the increase in the global population !!!

Sarah