Working to live or living to work?

Snuggles

I'm feeling really frustrated with life at the mo, and don't know if I just need a good kick up the posterior, or if it's pretty much like this for everyone.

Me and OH both work full time and we don't have children. OH has a three hour total commute each day, so leaves at 7am and gets home about 7pm. I'm usually home around 6. So during the week, evenings are spent just having dinner, washing up, preparing next day's lunches, a bit of relaxing time, and then early to bed.

By the time the weekend arrives we are both tired and tend to sleep late (usually until 9 but sometimes until 10). It's so nice not to have to rush around getting ready for work, and by the time we've had a leisurely breakfast and got ourselves showered and sorted, it's late morning. On Saturday's we then go out and get the grocery shopping and any other necessary errands done, followed by duty visits to parents. Then home and get on with the laundry, housework, gardening etc, then dinner, a film, and bed. Sundays we really like to do as little as possible, OH likes his computer games, I usually have some TV to catch up on that I haven't had chance to watch during the week, or reading, sitting in the garden etc. Somehow the time just rushes by and suddenly it's Monday morning again.

We both feel that we should be making more of the weekends, there's a big wide world out there, and we 're not making the most of it. But we never seem to have the energy! Sunday would be the obvious day to get out and and do something, but we both really value having that one lazy day, so we make plans but then when Sunday comes we invariably decide not to bother!

I know it sounds silly but I really resent the fact that work takes up so much time and energy. We both earn reasonable salaries but are not in a position to reduce hours or anything like that. I just feel like it's work, work, work, and weekends are spent just doing the domestics and recharging the batteries in preparation for more work, work, work.

So I was wondering, what do you do with your weekend? Is it just us or is what I am describing fairly common? I have this idea that everyone else is off doing exciting things every weekend, or are most people just getting on with the necessary stuff?

balletshoes

Snuggles wrote: »

So I was wondering, what do you do with your weekend? Is it just us or is what I am describing fairly common? I have this idea that everyone else is off doing exciting things every weekend, or are most people just getting on with the necessary stuff?

yes, most people are doing the necessary stuff at the weekends if they are working all the rest of the week - thats perfectly normal .

I usually plan any days out and about around my DD's school in-service days, or in holidays. To be honest, any serious clearing/gardening/DIY that needs doing around my house also gets done in my annual leave time.

lostinrates

what about using some of your dh's commute time in the morning, or the hour in the evening, for the housework/some of the gardening? And getting groceries (even a delivery to free time) on a weekday evening? that might free up some time for ''bigger'' jobs at the weekend and one day of fun?

we're trying atm to remember lifestyle is important not just achieving and saving. This morning we had breakfast out (cheaper than supper, lol) and then came back to start diy and gardening stuff together.

meritaten

Off doing exciting stuff? I wish! Tbh when my kids were small we did more exciting stuff than we do now! unless you count a visit to B&Q or the Garden Centre. Sounds like your work/life balance is out of kilter but I did notice that after washing up after dinner you factor in a bit of relaxing time..........unless you go to bed ridiculously early - then you could be out for a couple of hours - go to a movie or instead of cooking dinner go out for a meal. or go do a weekly shop on say a Thursday evening and do the weeks laundry on Friday night - that will free up nearly a whole day in which you can do whatever your heart desires. No Law that says you have to shop on Saturdays!

moggitymog

I work full time too and the weekend is never long enough, i try to spread the weekend jobs over the week so i have more free time at the weekend, I also do a monthly online shop, so find it easy to pick up fresh bits during the week.

JodyBPM

As a (part-time) working mum of two children, when I read your post, I actually thought how MUCH free time you seemed to have - every evening plus a whole weekend day to chill - that would be total luxury to me now! But before I had children, and when I was working f/t, we probably had a similar pattern!

I agree with the suggestion of getting the supermarket shopping ordered online, and delivered one evening, that will free up some time. Plus little and often with the housework, laundry etc so that you don't end up with a pile up at the weekend that takes you most of a day to deal with.

If you want to do days out/trips etc, why not book them in advance - that way you will actually go rather than feeling like you can't be bothered at the last minute.

But TBH, I only learned to value and manage my time after I had the children when I truly didn't have any! It was only once they came along that I realized how much time I could have had if I hadn't wasted it!

hoogervaaner

I work full time and am generally away from home 3 days a week. I work to live as a state of mind but often like yourself find myself shattered and feeling as though I am living to work..... hamster on a wheel would describe it. I have tried to resolve this by making sure we do nice things when I am on leave. To be honest I do feel it is just how things are for many of us who work.

meritaten

Ive been thinking on this and I think you should both pick an event/activity to do on a weekend then book a night or two in a B&B. Do all your chores dring the week (give up an hour or so of your relaxation time then either leave on a Friday or early Saturday morning and come back Sunday evening (or afternoon if you have things to get ready for Monday that cannot be done during the week before)
For example - if you both like Walking then book an activity weekend. or if you ever wanted to visit a certain historical site book a B&B near there.
once its booked it gives you the impetus to get things done to prepare and then go - relax and enjoy your weekend!

Slinky_Malinky

Do you have to visit parents every weekend? If you cut your visits down and got your food delivered then Saturday would be a free day for you to go off and do something while still keeping your Sunday for relaxing.

happy35

what about shopping online and getting it delivered for when you get home from work so that it could be put away before your OH arrives home?

you could also try an clean a room a night through the week or consider having a cleaner

parents could be visited after breakfast and that way you would gain an extra half a day at the weekend

Bambywamby

IMO life is too short to lose 3 hours a day commuting. It's a horrible waste of time and in general makes you tired and cranky. If I was your other half I would look for another job, move closer to where work is or move away from the area to a new job. I know that sounds simple and somewhat of a throw away comment but in life you can never regain that time lost commuting and the knackeredness you feel at the end of the day loses you even more quality time. Yes it would take short term sacrifice and upheaval but I think worth it in the long run. x