Assertiveness :(

DVardysShadow

amalis wrote: »

Well, it is a bit more complicated. I have no team reporting to me, but I am supposed to be mentoring and overseeing junior staff in my dep.
Ok, for example ,the other day I asked a junir to bring me a box of post it notes (coz she was going to vault anyway),. She brought it and just threw it on my table. I consider such behaviour inaproppriate, but I havn'e said a word

How should you have responded? and why didn't you?

amalis

DVardysShadow wrote: »

How should you have responded? and why didn't you?

welll I should have asked "why are you doing like this?" or "what is the matter with you?". To pay her attention to this.
I did not because...I don't know. Did not wont to escalate it and confront probably.

VfM4meplse

amalis wrote: »

welll I should have asked "why are you doing like this?" or "what is the matter with you?". To pay her attention to this.
I did not because...I don't know. Did not wont to escalate it and confront probably.

That is exactly what you should have asked! A few sharp words here and there will do your reputation no harm.

amalis

VfM4meplse wrote: »

That is exactly what you should have asked! A few sharp words here and there will do your reputation no harm.

well, I should have, but I did not. And most likely next time I will not as well.

relic

amalis wrote: »

welll I should have asked "why are you doing like this?" or "what is the matter with you?". To pay her attention to this.
I did not because...I don't know. Did not wont to escalate it and confront probably.

I wouldn't have asked "why are you doing like this?", but yeah, something like that!

amalis

relic wrote: »

I wouldn't have asked "why are you doing like this?", but yeah, something like that!

what would you say?

WestonDave

Have a look at your local college and see if they do courses - I did one a good few years back and found it quite helpful - especially as it was with a load of people that I'd never have to see again so it didn't matter if I made mistakes.

There's a place for easy going and a lot of the time letting things ride can be a good option rather than picking a fight everytime, however you also need to occasionally make it clear when someone has overstepped the mark. Curiously I find if I do have to "lose it" (which I tend to do "deliberately" rather than as a loss of control) then it tends to have more impact than for those people who are generally "stroppy"

Errata

You should have said 'Please don't throw things on my desk'. End of. You need to give clear instruction, not the third degree about why they were doing it and why they are behaving that way.
What do you mean by 'overseeing' junior staff? Supervising? Managing? What?

Sambucus_Nigra

amalis wrote: »

Ok, for example ,the other day I asked a junir to bring me a box of post it notes (coz she was going to vault anyway),. She brought it and just threw it on my table. I consider such behaviour inaproppriate, but I havn'e said a word

How did you ASK for your junior to bring a box of post it notes?

make_me_wise

amalis wrote: »

Hi all,

this is my 2nd job where I am told that I am not assertive enough meaning I don't speak up for myself and not strong enough to deal with people who offend me.
I am reading a lot about assertiveness, but reading is not enought. I can never put theory into practice
what do I do?

I would suggest finding a self esteem course or an assertivness course. I have attended both and found them really useful. Its difficult to pick too much up from just reading. You may find you would gain more by having to do role play. Wish you well OP.