Should I stay or should I go?

LookingAhead

Hi CG. Some good arguments for both sides here aren't there?

In the end I think you have to talk to those close to you (as you said you will do with your Mum) and sleep on things at least one or two nights. Then usually, your instincts will tell you the right thing to do.

For me it's like an internal set of old fashioned weighing scales. When you feel it 'tip over' to one side or another - there's your answer.

(Have never regretted any decision made like that!)

Let us know what you decide though - and your reasons!

victory

crawley_girl wrote:

Ok here goes...

Reasons to stay
* brings in extra income
* I enjoy it (mostly)
* don't like to let the members down
* it is likely one of the managers will leave shortly and maybe worth 'riding the storm'
* will miss the members

Reasons to go
* my mental health is important, as is my self-esteem
* i feel undervalued and used by the managers
* to stand up for myself
* would have more free time for myself
* would be able to find other work if I wanted

the first one mental health-more important than money-leave
Undervalued goes from your work place to your normal life to the family and friends and is all consuming with questions of why? leave
If the boss is going and that is one that you cannot get on with then do not let him or her ever stop you from becoming the very best you can be and deprive you of a good life/career etc as that is bully tactics he she will be off and not give you a sec more thought, don't allow someone else to have that amount of power over you-stay
More free time sounds great, the work you find has to be- fun, money same or more, be able to wake each morning and look forward to it, has great colleagues and be worthy.
The only member you need to worry about letting down is yourself.
Your colleagues are just that they will move on to other jobs, you owe them nothing and they don't either, guilt is a powerful thing, don't live life through it. xxx

nrsql

Have a chat with your manager.
They probably don't realise the effect of what they are doing and their perceived attitude so you would be helping them to do their job.
If they don't appreciate the help then point out the commitment you have shown and ask them whether they wish you to stay. That will force them to make the decision - if they say they don't care then I would leave.

Don't be confrontational about it.

climbgirl

nrsql wrote:

Have a chat with your manager.
They probably don't realise the effect of what they are doing and their perceived attitude so you would be helping them to do their job.
If they don't appreciate the help then point out the commitment you have shown and ask them whether they wish you to stay. That will force them to make the decision - if they say they don't care then I would leave.

Don't be confrontational about it.

Yeah, I think the rush to leave is far too hasty. They probably don't realise how p*ssed off you are about this and you walking away isn't standing up for yourself, it's just leaving.

If you want to stand up for yourself, talk to them first. Ask them why they've done it, explained that you feel aggrieved and why and tell them you're considering leaving because of it. Their response will tell you everything you need to know to make your decision I believe...

duncans-mum_2

I second what climbgirl said. Give them 1 chance to see if they will give you the response that you want to hear. If you (generally) enjoy the job it would be a shame not to try, but if the answer you get is no good, then go. How you feel day to day is more important.

balbs

Nip down to the library and borrow (no need to buy this) 'What colour is my parachute' - this will give you lots of ideas about the skills that you have (which you do) and how they can be used in lots of different jobs. But I also agree with the approach of talking to your present employers about how you feel. The most important thing I believe is that you feel in control of the situation

beanielou

Hi C_G
Hope it all works out for you.
Keep us posted.
Take care
Lou

crawley_girl

LookingAhead wrote:

Hi CG. Some good arguments for both sides here aren't there?

In the end I think you have to talk to those close to you (as you said you will do with your Mum) and sleep on things at least one or two nights. Then usually, your instincts will tell you the right thing to do.

For me it's like an internal set of old fashioned weighing scales. When you feel it 'tip over' to one side or another - there's your answer.

(Have never regretted any decision made like that!)

Let us know what you decide though - and your reasons!

The thing is, this isn't a new feeling. I've been thinking on it for about 3 weeks give or take a day or two.

I did talk it through with my mum and surprisingly her thoughts were 'dont burn your bridges' whereas I thought she would just say 'pack it in'. Maybe I justed wanted to her hear say that.

On Thursday night I went out with a friend who works there too and we talked it over and I was all for handing in my resignation on Friday. I went in on Friday and saw a few more service users that I hadn't seen for a while and told them my hours had been reduced but didn't hand my resignation in.
My friend/ work colleague called me on Friday evening to tell me that the boss had called a meeting with the service users to talk about a serious issue, but they spent the whole time talking about me and my hours. My friend described it as a 'riot' but she often blows things out of all proportions! She said that the service users had said that they are threatened to boycott the centre due to the way I had been treated and were prepared to take it higher if the boss didn't resolve the issues.

I am so touched that they felt like this and have had yet another cry about it all but really don't want them to be involved as it could have a negative effect on their health.

The saga goes on... but I think I will sit tight until next week

duncans-mum_2

Nice to know how highly the service users think of you. Should make the managers a bit more aware of what a good employee you are, but your post does kind of read that you seemed to have made your mind up already? (ie you were disappointed that your Mum said stick it out.)

Over the next few days I'm sure it will become clearer what your gut feeling really is.

All the best with it.

WesternExpress

All the best with it. Why not set yourself a deadline of something like February, to give you a chance of sorting it out but also having an end in sight?