Stuck in a huge fat rut

mummyofboys

Hi everyone,

Feeling abit down in the dumps! Im 24 have two lovely boys aged 4 and 1. I have put on so much wieght and feel totally stuck in a rut! I have no extra spare income at the minute as im a student and work only part time. I wear ugly clothes and have only 3/4 outfits that actually fit me and there not nice. I have just found a heap of grey hairs! in my usually dark hair. Im about 15st. 5"8 and i feel like i want to loose wieght but then i feel im too far gone for it to work if you understand me; like its not just a stone i need to loose. I swing between wanting to do a quick fix ie) shake diet or atkins which i have done in the past and put back on, and then slowly and healthy however i end up being good in the day and then just binging at night and ruining it thinking i will start tomorrow.

I feel well older than my years, i look a mess, I never get men looking at me even old ones! I am married but it would still be an ego boost if u get me. I feel really unfashionable , and just generally not me anymore. I feel I live for getting kids up ect and to be honest to knackered at the end of the day to cook something healthy .

I dont know how to get myself out of this rut I feel so bad, it makes me not care with things like washing my hair ect putting make up on as I think whats the point. The last time I put make up on was at a wedding 3 weeks ago but it just made me feel worse because I thougth god this is what i look like when I have actually made an effort

skyvicky123

Hi Mummyofboys,

I really feel for you - I have days of feeling like this myself...in fact today's one of them.

Not sure what to suggest as I don't know what to do for myself either. One thing I do know from my own experience is that when my hair is washed, my clothes ironed and my house clean and tidy I always feel better able to focus on what else needs to change.

One other thing, why not try eating with the kids - I am sure you feed them healthily, so this will mean you eat better too. Plus eating earlier is better for you. Perhaps go out for a walk with them every day. They will love it and your getting a bit of exercise.

Can your OH give you a bit of a break at the weekend so you have time to spend a bit of time on you - do your nails, have a long bath, time to do your hair etc? that might make you feel a bit better x

goodgirl80

Hello! I hope you don't mind me responding to your post, but I can relate to how you feel. Have you seen your doctor? You may be suffering from depression or a thyroid condition?

margaretclare

Have a look at this site: www.weightlossresources.co.uk

And/or: I wanna....lose weight. That's on this site.

A quick fix will not work. You've put on weight because you've eaten all the wrong things. Too much sugar probably - we are not designed, from an evolutionary point of view, to eat as much sugar as people eat nowadays.

Making a healthy meal is not necessarily time-consuming. A sandwich, made with wholemeal bread and a slice of cheese, followed by an apple, is a very healthy meal and could hardly be quicker.

I've found that it's the white processed i.e. white flour, white sugar, and anything made from them, that is an absolute no-no for me.

You don't need to put on make-up to look good. Take care of your skin, use moisturiser, and wash and brush your hair. Some dark-haired people get grey hairs very early in life. Others of us never go grey but just lose what hair we had to start with!!

mummyofboys

Thanks, no i havent seen a doctor, I know it isn't depression , its merely looking after everyone else and letting me go to pot. It just goes round in circles want to do something... but am feeling tired /lethargic...eat crap... get more tired.... get bigger... feel crap... starts again. I just cant seem to shake myself and do something. Its always next week ... or on Monday .

Yes I do cook healthy meals for my kids... that is a good idea. However I work till 8pm most nights so I just usually grab a take away or ready meal and chocolate from the spar which is not good for my waist line OR bank balance .

Feel really unattractive to my husband aswell.. our sex life is suffering because I feel to big and to be honest I dont think he finds me attractive right now, and to be honest I dont blame him!

Tiddlywinks

Wow, sorry to hear that you're feeling so down. Everyone hits rock bottom at some point so you're not alone in that.

You can do some little things to make a start... I always feel better with make up on for instance - in fact, it's my way of getting ready for my day. Little things can help you feel a bit more confident.

Clothes - charity shops have great bargains as do Primark, Peacocks and QS. Also, freecycle sometimes has stuff and don't forget ebay.

Weight - there's no quick fix, it does take time but it is very do-able. you only have to look at some of the threads on the beauty board to see that. In the meantime, dress to flatter. What are your best bits, show 'em off. It's amazing what you can pull off with a bit of confidence.

BUT you have to want to make changes and believe in yourself.

How are things with your OH? Is he supportive? Do you have friends that could support and encourage you?

Are you just feeling a bit down or could you be depressed?

24 is young - you are at the start of your life with everything to look forward to. Don't blight the best years of your life with worries about your looks - identify what you want to do, make a plan and just do it.

scroogey

I posted this in your other thread......
I signed in just to reply to this, I usually lurk.
I find what works for me is going to a slimming group. I went to Slimming World a few years ago and lost 3 stone. I stopped going as it was getting too expensive for me. I heard about referals you can get from the Doctor so mid Feb when to the doctor and asked, they had the choice of Slimming World and Weight Watchers. Perhaps your doctors surgery does something similar?
I've had quite a rotten time of it in the last year and my self esteem has taken a complete battering. But taking that first step in Feb was probably the hardest, I always hated how I look and would never look at myself in the mirror. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on Sunday, and for once I actually liked what I saw!
I have a good few stone to lose still, but it's all baby steps, I know I'll get there eventually.
You will too, you can do it and you will!
Rupaul says "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell can you love anybody else?" I really believe that is true, and the more I'm beginning to love myself, the more I've noticed men checking me out (something I've never noticed before!)
Good luck!

goodgirl80

mummyofboys wrote: »

Yes I do cook healthy meals for my kids... that is a good idea. However I work till 8pm most nights so I just usually grab a take away or ready meal and chocolate from the spar which is not good for my waist line OR bank balance .

Can you do larger portions of healthy dinners, perhaps using a slow cooker. Then you could have that after work.

evansmummy

I agree with joining a weight loss group. I joined ww after having my 1st son. I put on 2 stone with him and lost it gradually. I ended up losing it all. 2lbs a week is really achievable and if you think that 1 stone in 7 weeks. It doesn't sound like a huge climb then.
Set yourself small goals. I found if I stopped eating all treats I craved it more. I changed from white bread to brown for my toast in the morning. Tomato soup for lunch and chicken with veg for tea. If you feel you need a sweet treat grapes are fab. If you struggle cause you work late get your hubby to make you something healthy for when you get home and stick the money you would normally spend on takeaways in a piggy bank and buy yourself some new clothes with the money you've saved.
It's awful when you feel it's a huge goal to achieve but you've got to start somewhere and you'll get into some good habits.
Good luck!

mummyofboys

Thankyou... I have never heard of getting a gp refferal to ww or sw... I will book an appointment. I know I am very young to be feeling like this, I am starting a nursing degree in sept and I dont want to feel like this in UNI... I look like such a frump its embarasing I feel so embarassed all the time, and I have even seen my dad looking me up and down as if to think i look like a tramp. It seems whenever I have bought new clothes within a couple of wears they look ames on me. For example I bought some new work pants ( cotton gym style pants ) that have draw string at top... I bought them 2 months ago and they looked ok at first... now when i wear them the go forward and stretched where the knee is from when im sitting down.. they hang funny as I have massive belly and slim legs. I just feel I look awful in everything, so my mantra has prob subconsciously been if you dont make an effort and get slagged of then its ok as i can justify it with i didnt make an effort anyway.

My husband defo doesnt find me attractive overwieght. H e hasnt said it but I know, we hardly make love ect and the type of women he likes has always been slim. I would spend five pound on my son for something,,, yet I have needed a hair dye but think oh whats the point or I cant justify spending it on myself...

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

why not cook a batch of healthy dinners and freeze them? much better than the take aways.

I would get your thyroid checked but dont think it is a quick fix if there is a thyroid problem, it will contribute to the weight, but so will the take away and no exercise.

Doctors can refer you to a gym also

for clothes. Save up - then book into one of the FREE sessions (john lewis/debenhams) and speak to the stylist. Tell them your budget and they will help. you wouldnt even need to buy from there - just have a look at the styles etc.

Your husband loves YOU for who YOU are. my OH has a fantasty woman - he can have her - i have orlando bloom

As for hair dye - local colleagues dye hair for REALLY cheap (and they are all supervised)

I think in all honesty you lack self esteem and will power (i really dont mean this harshly!) could you get a diet buddy?