MF at last! Now for the £300,000 'Mansion' Fund.

earthgirl

Thanks, work is still not great. We have the threat of redundancy AGAIN and observations by the head at any point next week, book scrutinies (sp?) etc. It just seems like constant pressure and I feel I am constantly failing. Tonight I have been to bed but just feel so stressed and anxious about it that I have had to get up. My chest feels really tight and i have a physical sense of my stress so I have to change something!

I guess the big think I have to change is that I need to accept that I will have to do some planning and marking at a weekend - even just when baby has his nap. I didn't want to do this as I felt that the weekend was my time with my family, but I just can't get everything done at work and I can't relax at home then.

I also need to keep things simple. I know I am supposed to be doing all singing all dancing lessons all of the time, but I need to simplyfy things so that I am not so stressed out, and keep my sanity!

I would also like to clear my desk every night (that is quite a tall order!)

Right, I am off to do a bit of planning until midnight then off to bed. Tutoring all morning, and then 2 piles of books to mark before I can relax.

Thanks for all your support and all your lovely diaries, I really enjoy reading them - the only thing that is keeping me sane and focused!

CathT

.....and breathe. Honestly EG I don't know how you get so much done. Hope you get through your marking and it frees you up for a lovely family weekend.

Hope all the work stuff goes ok? I never thought redundancy would be a threat in your profession just as it normally isn't i mine but I guess it's a sign of the times and the cut backs.

MatyMoo

Earthy, I know your eyes are firmly fixed on the mansion fund but would it be worth giving up a couple of your private tutorings during the week to make time for marking and planning so that you could give yourself time to do this during the week? This way you would have the family weekends you want.

Nothing is more important than your health.

summerday

Hi Earthgirl,

Sorry to hear about the stresses at work. I am a real believer that in these situations what will be will be, and even if the outcome isn't what we hoped for initially, things have a way of working out for the better in the longer term, be it in the form of a better job coming along, or even a more radical change of lifestyle that wouldn't have happened otherwise. I know it's easy for me to sit and say that, but my DH was made redundant last year and things have worked out for the better.

I also think you should take heart and reassurance in the fact that your mortgage is fully paid off and you have a large savings net built up, which I know is intended for the mansion fund, but look at it from the perspective that your hard work means that your essential monthly outgoings are very little, and even in a worst case scenario you won't starve or be out on the street... a very different situation from acquaintances I have seen in negative equity who lose their jobs, have homes repossessed and go bankrupt. Even if you get behind in the mansion target, nothing is more important than your family's immediate wellbeing and security and you have done so well to secure that. In the grand scheme of things, does much else really matter...?

Courgette

Earthy, that's a really worrying post. Please take care of yourself, you have your health, a lovely family and a mortgage-free home. Everything else is just stuff

xxx

museumworker

Take care love - it does sound like you have sooo much on your plate, no wonder it catches up with you at times. You've worked so hard the last few years and done INCREDIBLY to be MF already. But there is nothing more important than your health - says the migraine sufferer - stress can be so debilitating and ruin your life. How about writing a list of everything you could give up - like you said, the perfect lesson plan, the tutoring, cleaning (get a cleaner), whatever it takes. You already are MF, and if the mansion takes an extra year or so but you are perfectly healthy and happy and get loads of quality time with the family, that'll be worth it right? x

gratefulforhelp_2

earthgirl wrote: »

Thanks, work is still not great. We have the threat of redundancy AGAIN and observations by the head at any point next week, book scrutinies (sp?) etc. It just seems like constant pressure and I feel I am constantly failing.

Are your union involved? There is a limit on the number of obs they can do, unless your school is in special measures (or whatever they call it now).

Tonight I have been to bed but just feel so stressed and anxious about it that I have had to get up. My chest feels really tight and i have a physical sense of my stress so I have to change something!

Have you audited your caffeine/exercise/alcohol/sleep habits to try to reduce stress?

Exercise? Maybe see GP. I absolutely sympathise and know that feeling, but generally teachers who feel that way are NOT the ones that fail, since they are conscientious enough to worry and also work the hardest.

Honestly I spent years thinking someone was going to find me out as a crap teacher, until I looked around me....

I guess the big think I have to change is that I need to accept that I will have to do some planning and marking at a weekend - even just when baby has his nap. I didn't want to do this as I felt that the weekend was my time with my family, but I just can't get everything done at work and I can't relax at home then.

Maybe do it for a month and review it, then you won't feel it's forever?

I also need to keep things simple. I know I am supposed to be doing all singing all dancing lessons all of the time, but I need to simplyfy things so that I am not so stressed out, and keep my sanity!

I would also like to clear my desk every night (that is quite a tall order!)

Right, I am off to do a bit of planning until midnight then off to bed. Tutoring all morning, and then 2 piles of books to mark before I can relax.

Love you are overdoing it. Remember Earthlet needs you well, if you're doing 75% of the job you are doing better than most.

Thanks for all your support and all your lovely diaries, I really enjoy reading them - the only thing that is keeping me sane and focused!

Lots and lots of love, and don't lose sight of what's important. xxx

Secret_Saving_Squirrel

Hello there,

Please don't worry about all the monitoring stuff at school, work scrutinies and learning walks and all of these things are just the current fashion and if you are conscientious for most of the time then your head will be jumping for joy with you. Most of the time these are just going through the motion activities. It is awful to have to take work home but it happens sometimes and it's just one of those things. It is balanced by the longer holidays that other workers don't get, so just keep your eyes on the Xmas break! Only five weeks away.

You are doing great,

Squirrel

earthgirl

Thank you for all of the lovely posts - I have tears streaming down my face reading them. You are all talking complete sense and are so, so kind. I have to put my family and our health first.

I haven't had any feedback from my lesson observations, and the books weren't really scrutinised - didn't stop me marking each one of them though!

I m really going to take a long look at my life this weekend (after I have done my speed awareness course ) and see where I am and where I want to be.

This week I have had a mixture of complete insomnia, tight chest and anxious feelings, and tummy upset which I can attribute to stress at work and in my life generally, and I really want things to change.

Atleast thing should be a little clamer at work now - I will get there!

wantabetterlife

Take care EG...we all need to re-evaluate things once in a while.