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A 4th baby?
Comments
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shariatlanta wrote:lisa_75 wrote:.
At the end of the day if you feel your health and finances would allow it then why not, one more really won't make an awful lot of difference and as somone else pointed out the happiness you get for lots of kids outweighs the hard work.
What about when they get older? My friend has 8 children. She has 19 grandchildren. You cannot tell me she finds it just as easy to pay for Christmas as my mother in law who has 2 kids and 2 grandchildren?0 -
I have three children 10,3 and 1, all boys, when i had my last straight after having him i was really broody but as hes getting older, crawling around, turning tv off all the time making a mess etc, i'm beginning to change my mine, as i find them hard work sometime.
But also i have to think that we have a 5 seater mondeo, and can't afford to change it, so no room for a 4th. Bedrooms our house is a three bed and one room is a box room so house isn't big enough.
I still get broody but i start thinking about the financial cost it will cause. In the words of my mother "The more children you have, the less money you have to spend on each of them individually, as their are more to buy for".
Don't think my sister took any notice though she has 6 kids but does have a five bedroom house and a people carrier.0 -
mspig wrote:
I still get broody but i start thinking about the financial cost it will cause. In the words of my mother "The more children you have, the less money you have to spend on each of them individually, as their are more to buy for".
Someone with an only child once said something similar to me. I get broody too. I don't know many women who don't. However the financial burden of children is just too large consideration for me to consider any more. If I won the lottery tomorrow I would probably have one or two more.mspig wrote:Don't think my sister took any notice though she has 6 kids but does have a five bedroom house and a people carrier.
If she can afford a people carrier and a 5 bed house she is not doing too badly! I have 2 kids and can't afford to buy a shoebox!0 -
Was she given the 5 bedroom house by the council though?
People say you shouldn't let money come into matters such as this too much, but personally, if you have neither the resources, nor the funds, don't add to an already larger than average family and expect everyone else to fund it.
For the OP - your health is paramount and don't underestimate the strain another pregnancy will bring and quite possibly limit your capabilities with your existing children.0 -
I have 3 children (20, 18 & 14) & expecting no. 4. Eldest 2 live with their partners now, so just youngest at home. Eldest son just became a dad, so we're grandparents, but I don't want to feel that's the end of mothering for me - I'm only 38! Things were tight when they were all small & I didn't work, but we managed - cut our coat according to our cloth, as the saying goes.
I've always wanted more, but only managed to persuade OH recently. I'd like just one more after this (God willing) & then I think that will do!
Families are going to think we're mad, but we've never asked for handouts, never been in debt, but also never been tight with necessities for our children. We've been fairly careful with money, & don't live flashily, so feel we can 'afford' more children.
I'm the eldest of 4, OH youngest of 5, so we've never wanted just 1 or 2, but never quantified how many! If I'm healthy enough, then we will have no. 5, & we have to live with those extra little people - looking forward to it!
Good luck to those of you having more, whatever your reasons, but there's also nothing wrong with just 1 or 2 kids - the world would be so boring if we all did the same & agreed with each other!July 2024 GC £0.00/£400
NSD July 2024 /310 -
This is a very interesting thread; we have two children and are trying to decide on whether to have a third. For those of you who have big families, do you ever get time to spend with each child individually? How does it work when you are doing homework with them, or reading stories at bed time?
I am not constrained by finances in my decision about whether to go for number three, but am concerned about the practical aspects and in particular how you manage to give each child individual attention.0 -
We set staggered bedtimes, esp. when the kids were younger, so each child had bath/story time alone, although sometimes it was a communal affair - they seemed to enjoy baths & stories together on occasion. Re. homework, etc., sometimes everyone was at the table together, sometimes only one child had homework that night, so things balanced out over a week.
We are lucky in that my parents live in the same village, so sometimes the kids went to them, esp. if it was something which grandparents were better at! Then the child got undivided attention from grandma/grandad & they both had a good visit.
This routine seemed to work for the most part, although it got harder when they were all at high school, & esp. on Sun night when they'd all left their homework 'til the last minute!!
I'd take each child clothes shopping alone once or twice a year - even if we still argued about fashion vs practicality, we could still have a more peacful time than with 3 kids in tow. Even with a larger family than mine, you can give each one undivided attention if you make a conscious effort, it's not as hard as you might think.July 2024 GC £0.00/£400
NSD July 2024 /310 -
Just been reading through some of the posts, and would like to add another penny's worth. We are probably what some people would call comfortably poor - we don't have much, but what we do have is very much appreciated. My DH is a star at home, and this is probably one of the reasons I would consider having more after this one. He does not work long hours, and he's a great help around the house. He's great with the two boys we've got so far and gets to spend a fair amount of time with them, and at the moment (being induced tomorrow with our 3rd) I can still say I wouldn't have it any other way! I love my family to bits and would love a big family.
As far as children getting more expensive as they get older, well I can only go by limited experience, but I thought they only get as expensive as you make it out to be. My children will probably never go without, but they will learn that money doesn't grow on trees, and that they will not get everything they point at.
Family around? What's that? Being foreign, my family is in a different country (and one of the most expensive ones around...) and since my dad died last year, and my sister deciding she's no longer on speaking terms with me, there's just my mum - and she's poorly. So here I've only got my in-laws. But again my DH makes up for not having much. I really don't know how I would have managed without him.
Holiday... This word is foreign to me (lol). We don't go on holiday. This christmas we're finally going back to Norway to spend christmas with my mum. The last time we were there for christmas was in 2001. We did get to go for dad's funeral in may last year, and again in august (courtesy of the in-laws) where we all drove over in our separate cars and had the best time ever. So "holiday" accommodation is never going to be a problem, so I guess we're lucky that way. And I wouldn't really consider going on holiday anywhere else. Don't do heat, so sunny Spain and the likes holds no charms for me or DH.
Still, like others have said too, as long as you and your OH and children are happy, that's all that matters, and in the end, the decision is yours.0
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