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A 4th baby?
Comments
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I have 3 children and chose not to have the 4th -even though my hormones were still calling!
I would just consider the costs as the children get older -mine are now 14, 12 and 9 and I am surprised how much more they cost now than they did when they were little. It is very easy to think that babies cost the most -in fact each year they seem to get more expensive.
For example school trips, dinner money, social groups, swimming lessons, computers, playstations, trendy clothes, holidays for 5 or 6, Christmas....
I know none of these are essential -and many well adjusted children have grown up without these, but it is still worth considering.
There is little worse than not being able to afford your childrens Christmas pressies and having to let them down gently.
We made an active decision to have 3 kiddies and be able to provide for them well rather than struggle financially with 4.
Having said this I can totally sympathise -when those hormones are calling it is difficult (why not wait a year and see if you still fee the same as you have time on your side)
Cazzy0 -
I have 3 children of my own and a step-son (who was just over 1 when DH and I got together) and I'd love another, not that that's going to happen
The step from 3 to 4 children in a practical sense is the biggest one, simple things like, as mentioned earlier, fitting them in a car but also going on holiday, more and more places are beginning to see a family as up to 3 children but the extra child can make things very expensive. Housing isn't so much of a problem as children adapt to what they are used to and will manage to fill the space with clutter no matter how big or small a house is. :eek:
If I was in your situation I would enjoy the little ones you have for now, after all if being pregnant puts you on crutches then this is going to make it hard work for you to deal with a couple of toddlers and a new school starter and reconsider when the little ones are at least potty trained (nappy changes for 3 at once are no fun trust me and an added strain on your back).
Whatever you decide to do, good luck and may all your chldren bring you smiles and joy.0 -
as a mum of 6 kids 17 ,14,13,12,8 ,5 please bear in mine little cute babies grow into moody stroppy teenages the cost of clothing goes up £££££££££££££££ school trips in high school more or less one every few weeks but i love it and wouldnt change a thing0
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mines are 4, 2 and 7 weeks, and i have never been so shattered in all my life!!! love them all to bits, but finding it really hard to enjoy them all at the moment and to give them all the attention they need. Something/someone always needing something, all have been sick, breastfeeding, toilet times.
DH is fantastic but works long hours, and have very little family around, so when he is home we both tired and on edge. Just forgot how hard it is! people assume you find it easier the more you have, but it is still the first time i've had three kids! wouldn't change them for the world, and know how blessed we are to have healthy and happy kids...... just want some sleep!!!0 -
Interesting thread. I'm a mum of 3, 12,9 & 2 and would love more chidren. My health has got progressively worse with each pregnancy and was very poor with DD3.
My worry is that if I had a 4th, how could I care for the other 3 if I was as ill as last time (which is very likely) and would I miss out on what I have by chasing more.
DD3 was also very ill when she was born and after many a heart to heart with my gp some of the issues I would probably face with a 4th child have really scared me, eg. in all likelyhood the baby would have to be delivered early (as dd3 was). A baby on oxygen has a massively increased chance of health problems, this would have a major impact on the entire family.
I have a five bed house with 5 large bedrooms so space isn't an issue but money is.
We privately educate and would want to do the same for all children so this has to be considered but is a minor consideration compared to the health issues.
Good luck with whatever you decide, I'm still trying to figure it out but I'm much older than you op so don't have a lot of time!0 -
I'm only allowed 2 children, 5 and 6 months.
We have a small new build 2 bed, sorry 1 bed and a cuboard. My hormones are telling me to get pregnant again but have to wait another year so i can qualify for MA again. Space wise its a complete squeze so most of our belongings go up to the loft and only have out what we need0 -
Hi I am a mum of 4 and they are 5,4,3,and 1 and I am expecting my 5th baby in 15 weeks time, while it is hard work at times I think it is great having them close together, I am sure that If it is what you and dh want then you will get on just fine x0
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Its nice in some ways to have them close together, but I don't think its always fair to have a huge brood with only 1 or 2 years between each. Doesnt really allow for them to be treated as individuals in the same way as a bigger spread of ages would. I know someone with 7 kids all with about 18 months age difference. They're a lovely family and both parents work hard to provide for them and feed and clothe them properly, but the kids are always treated as a pack and barely get any one-to-one time with mum or dad.
Also, don't forget that most college/uni courses are 3 years long: would you be able to afford to give them all the opportunity to follow their dreams if they are spaced too closely?
Ours are 18, 16 and 13 now, and financially its a struggle, and we're on a reasonable income!0 -
I am Mum to 4, 16,14,11 & 7 and also in poor health please do not under estimate the effect your health has on your children. Now if I have to go into hospital or even to a doc appointment my children get very worried. Yes they have their Dad too but as they say "Dad is hopeless without you Mum". We don't have any other family so I guess that has an effect too.Panda on My Shoulder
If you can make it cheaper do so. If it's not reduced, in Primark, off ebay or free I can't have it :rotfl:0 -
I am from a family of 3 and things were always tight financially. My parents have never been able to help with cars/weddings/house deposits like many of my friends and to be honest I am jealous of friends from smaller families who get more support. Even babysitting had to be rationed as my parents have quite a few grandkids. For that reason we had only 2 and to be honest as they get older, wanting more expensive things, I am glad we only have 2. We have no savings for uni/weddings and it scares me to death. Hopefully I will be returning to work full time in the next few years and we will be able to put something away for when they are older.
Personally I feel that even 3 children in this day and age is a luxury, I have no idea how people with more than 1 or 2 manage. Think about the future. Do you see yourself being able to support 4 or 5 kids through uni, driving lessons or with house deposits? We thought about number 3 a few years ago, but as we were renting and could not afford to save I did not think it was fair on the other 2.0
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