Starting Again

turbo.jet

You are doing so well, and have such a clear picture of not only where you are at now and where you are going, but also how to get there. Don't forget how much you've achieved in the short time since you focused on it. Its very impressive. Yes, you have a high amount remaining, but have proved to us all and yourself that you can do it - you are an inspiration! Well done

Skint_but_Optimistic

I dont know about an inspiration, I feel like my face should be on a poster for kids in school advertising what not to do. When I think of the excesses I was part of during my first marriage, clothes spends on a weekly basis of 100 plus, three holidays a year on the credit card, ex husband out 4 nights a week and then one night a week out with me, christmas spends for one child at over £800..

Stupidity. I realised this part way through and it broke us up when he wouldnt change. My family and my new husband are paying for my sins of the past.

Mind you he wouldnt have it any other way, but I feel like he married someone not only who had a previous family, but also a dirty financial past.

Not exactly the stuff hollywood writes about. haha

turbo.jet

What's not inspirational about someone who has learned from their mistakes and is working hard to clean up the mess. My comments still stand

A lot of people walk away from their responsibilities but you haven't, you are facing up to them and tackling them. It is highly commendable. I think you might be being a bit too hard on yourself. Show me one person who hasn't made mistakes in the past! What you are doing now is to be commended.

Skint_but_Optimistic

Well thanks, but you know I hate making mistakes and if I do I move heaven and earth to put it right...

bonsibabe

Hi Skint. I am a long time lurker on here but sometimes I do actually post. You are blooming amazing!!!!! I just wanted to say that to you. I have about £16500 of debt being repaid at £30 a month, as it is all i can reasonably afford at the moment. I am the only wage earner in our house until DH's first wage goes in. We have devised a sneaky plan of opening a savings account for DD2 (her "real" account is in my dad's name lol), using that to save and save and save (if we can) and then using the money to pay off debts. That way we will earn some interest on it before we pay the debts (which are frozen as I have been paying them in small chunks for 2 years now). I hope this sounds okay as I am desperate to replace some household items as well and then start saving to buy the house that we currently live in. DH has a £3K debt which he is disputing but I'm letting him get on with that while i deal with the joint ones.

Inspired by your PPI successes, I am looking into that for us. Like you, we got PPI on everything and have worked out that none of them would have paid out anyway so these b**gers got money for nothing from us and I want it back!!!!! If that works then I will use the money to buy the household items i need (new fridge and freezer ... big ones this time) and possibly a new washer and dryer (if there is enough cash). Planning on getting DH to pay half his wages into the "savings" account as I pay all the bills and he just will not need that amount of money each month as he takes his bike to work (it's really close to home) ... I need the car but luckily it's a motability one so all I have to factor in is petrol ... however I do about 35 miles each day to get me there and back from work ... I hate petrol costs, specially up here in the Highlands!

I completely understand where you are coming from regarding the depression, you have big hugs from me ... i was on antidepressants ... took myself off them as i hate taking pills (i have enough meds to take daily don't need more lol). Probably not the best thing I could have done as I feel realy messed up most of the time but like you, just have to get on with it. Am off work sick this morning ... auntie mother nature came visiting at the weekend and 4 changes of clothing yesterday and a night of feeling icky just didn't make me feel like working this morning. Still feeling poo but better than i was ... back to the grind tomorrow.

Anyhoo, just wanted to pop in and say well done and give you a huge virtual hug for being fab! xxx

bonsibabe

Hi again ... sorry to hijack your thread Skint but need to have a rant about my blooming DH!!! Just cos he has PTSD does not give him the right to be a lazy S.O.B!!!!

He hasn't worked in over 2 years and has now gotten himself a job. Obviously i was dead chuffed and said thats great but you still need to help with the kids and the house. He was like yes i'll do this and i'll do that and i'll do the next thing. Aye right!!!!

With the PTSD he is like Jekyll and Hyde ... one minute he is great and the next he is a complete control freak ... i can't even go to my mother's without him texting demanding to know where i am and when i will be home. I haven't had a night out since new years eve ... and that was sat in a corner while he did a disco ... love being left on my own all night and watching all the local lasses throw themselves at him.

It all came to a head in August and i took the kids and walked out ... had to get the police to come with me to get some clothes and stuff for me and the kids ... stupid me went back after 4 days ... i thought it best to give it another go ... we have been together nearly 12 years and have 2 lovely little girls.

But today ... being off sick ... he has left me to do everything ... while he sat at his laptop and faffed about ... said he was applying for a supervisors job ... but left me to sort out everything ... hasn't even gotten the quotes i asked him for in august for an insurance claim that has been outstanding for nearly a year ... i work full time and have to do everything in the house as well... i feel like his mother not his wife ... so much so he sleeps on the sofa every night ... i wish he would just realise that this is going to give me a breakdown ....so i have given him to the end of the month or he has to leave ... but no i don't think this is having the desired effect of a kick up the bum ...

grrrrrrrrrrr

sorry again ... just needed to get that off my chest lol xxxx

debtfreewannabe321

well done skint you've managed to pay off so much in such a small time don't be so hard on yourself....we've all made the same (or very similar) mistakes which is why we're all here lol, but at least we can say we've learnt our lesson eh

dfw x

debtfreewannabe321

bonsibabe :grouphug: big hugs sound like you need them. I thought my dh had ptsd when he recently come home from a 6 month tour, he reckons not though, so i just get to put up with the lovely mood swings :think:

dfw x

bonsibabe

dfw ... he probably does have it ... it was the forces that caused it in my DH ... long story but i wish it was at an end and then he could probably move on but he needs someone he trusts to give him a kick up the bum ... shame he now hates my parents ... he would listen to my dad at one time ... its tearing me in two and i hate it ... i love him but i need my family and i don't have many friends now ... when i walked out he told my neighbour a load of stuff that wasnt true so she hardly talks to me and he tells me that my best mate won't talk to me cos i'm such a cow now apparently ... if he would just pull his weight in the house and garden i could probably handle the rest .. am just knackered lol

but thank you for the hugs ... i needed that xxx

Skint_but_Optimistic

Cant the forces help? isnt there some support? thanks for reading the blog, you both need hugs, brave ladies and I hope things work out for you xx