Does this sound right? - divorce

bewilderedhelpneeded

catfish50 wrote: »

If you don't feel 100% confident that he's not using you, that may be because he is.

Are you sure your kids are ok with their bedrooms being used by his kids? It's so hard sometimes for children to express their true feelings when they can sense what response is hoped for. And sometimes parents think they can tell what their children are feeling but they're mistaken. Been there.

My children are a lot older and they are usually honest and frank with me about other things so I know that they would feel comfortable telling me if they were not happy with arrangements.

bewilderedhelpneeded

peachyprice wrote: »

Yes! >>>>>>>

Ok thanks - I hadn't thought about it from that angle!

daska

bewilderedhelpneeded wrote: »

I hadn't thought that it might be her stalling to get under my skin. she is divorcing him and the divorce is being 'led' by her solicitor my partner hasn't pushed anything forward at all just supplied information via his solicitor when requested.

Doesn't mean she might not enjoy spinning it out LOL

You shouldn't encourage him to do something which may harm his best interests - the solicitor will most likely have advised him that he needs to get the finances sorted out before applying for the decree absolute and I think it very unlikely that the solicitor would be putting his file aside unless the client had instructed him that he didn't want to pursue the financial agreement. N.B. if her funding is cancelled the solicitor acting for her quite probably won't even bother to let him know so he could wait a very long time.

bewilderedhelpneeded

daska wrote: »

Doesn't mean she might not enjoy spinning it out LOL

You shouldn't encourage him to do something which may harm his best interests - the solicitor will most likely have advised him that he needs to get the finances sorted out before applying for the decree absolute and I think it very unlikely that the solicitor would be putting his file aside unless the client had instructed him that he didn't want to pursue the financial agreement. N.B. if her funding is cancelled the solicitor acting for her quite probably won't even bother to let him know so he could wait a very long time.

I think the only way he is going to find out for sure is to ring his solicitor and ask what stage it is at and what the next step is.

xtcc

Exactly he needs to call the solicitor and ask them to explain why it's been put to one side for 6 weeks.
The earliest he can apply for a decree absolute 3 months 6 weeks and 1 day from the nisi being granted. It will cost him £45.
TOP TIP:Look on the Wikivorce website for all your divorce questions.

clearingout

peachyprice wrote: »

Sorry, didn't mean to imply there is anything wrong with your house!

But is is very unusual for a mother to be so carefree about lack of permanent sleeping arrangements for her children, and to accept her children sleeping at a girlfriends house where the father doesn't even live. It would usually be something that would be used against the father to limit access or stall a divorce.

But I'm guessing she likes her time away from the children too much

Can't win, can she? She tries to do the right thing and share the care of the children and she's something of a floosy, getting on with her life and enjoying her time away from her children just a little bit too much?

OR

She kicks up a fuss, holds onto the children until they have a proper bed to sleep in, is accused therefore of trying to maximise the ex's child maintenance liability so she can buy handbags and drink vodka, and is generally a bad mother 'cos she's not acting in the children's best interests.

Jeez! What the hell are we ex wives supposed to do?!

catfish50

clearingout wrote: »

Can't win, can she? She tries to do the right thing and share the care of the children and she's something of a floosy, getting on with her life and enjoying her time away from her children just a little bit too much?

OR

She kicks up a fuss, holds onto the children until they have a proper bed to sleep in, is accused therefore of trying to maximise the ex's child maintenance liability so she can buy handbags and drink vodka, and is generally a bad mother 'cos she's not acting in the children's best interests.

Jeez! What the hell are we ex wives supposed to do?!

Put the children's interests first. If beds aren't available near their school, then arrange contact but NOT overnight stays on school nights. Obvious, really.

In this case, the NRP could presumably have the children at weekends, in his home 100 miles away. It would be interesting to see what his reaction to such a suggestion would be.

pigpen

catfish50 wrote: »

Put the children's interests first. If beds aren't available near their school, then arrange contact but NOT overnight stays on school nights. Obvious, really.

In this case, the NRP could presumably have the children at weekends, in his home 100 miles away. It would be interesting to see what his reaction to such a suggestion would be.

Same as my KH's was.. 'you can't possibly expect me to give up every weekend for the rest of my life to look after the children for you so you can go be a prostitute'

On the bright side that means he will die before DD5 is 16 so I don't have to put up with him much longer lol

catfish50

Maybe not those exact words....

pigpen

catfish50 wrote: »

Maybe not those exact words....

LOL.. I would hope not.. it did make me laugh though.. esp. as he told me I was frigid for most of our marriage.. :D:D