Does this sound right? - divorce

peachyprice

Doesn't it just, but neither of the poor children's parents seem to mind. The ex wife sounds just as bad as OP's OH letting her children go there in the first place.

Padstow

mackemdave wrote: »

Because the financials should be sorted before applying for the absolute....obviously they arnt settled yet....Its been known that there have been years between nisi and absolute in some cases....There needs to be stamped consent order in place

There is so much misinformation on this thread. mackemdave is totally correct though. Also granting absolute is not automatic, has to be applied for. Just got mine, think it was £45. That was after 18 months of sorting the finance and 70k spent between us. Ouch!

The biggest puzzle in the OP is why did the father move so far away from the children?

bewilderedhelpneeded

skypie123 wrote: »

I don't understand why they didn't get an absolute when they were granted nisi. Surely they should have gotten that 6 weeks later?

The financial side of things has not even been started yet and there were problems over access. Ill ask my partner if he can speak to his solicitor and ask if absolute can be granted without the financial side of things being done.

bewilderedhelpneeded

pigpen wrote: »

I am in pretty much the same situation, except I was the wife.. I got the nisi in August and the Absolute in october... one of them is deliberately stalling.. there is no reason it would be held up on issues with the children or the shared mortgage.. this is sorted separately. We are waiting on an order goin through tranferrin the deeds of the property into my name but the mortgage will still be in both names.

I'd be asking him if it is him stalling because he is having second thoughts about being with you and throwing away his marriage and family or if it is her stallling because it is the best way she can get under your skin..

I hadn't thought that it might be her stalling to get under my skin. she is divorcing him and the divorce is being 'led' by her solicitor my partner hasn't pushed anything forward at all just supplied information via his solicitor when requested.

bewilderedhelpneeded

jackieglasgow wrote: »

I believe that in Scotland the financials and childcare has to be sorted before the absolute is granted, if that's right, are you in Scotland, OP?

No, im not in Scotland im in England

bewilderedhelpneeded

catfish50 wrote: »

Definitely not ideal. Is this arrangement officially approved? How can a shared parenting agreement work unless both parents are able to provide adequate sleeping arrangements for the children within reach of the children's school?

Officially approved by who? My partners ex is aware of the sleeping arrangements.

bewilderedhelpneeded

peachyprice wrote: »

You don't have to give details of this when you fill in the divorce forms, you just state that you both agree to 50/50 parenting.

So unless the ex wife has challenged the arrangements they won't be brought into play, and I doubt OP's OH will bring them up as he's having his cake and eating it.

No the childrens sleeping arrangements are not being challenged at all. The ex knows all about them. Only comment she made was during mediation when she said that one child sleeping on a camp bed was figiting and annoying the other child. My partner agreed to sort this out and one child had my bed and the other has a more stable, non squeeking camp bed.

bewilderedhelpneeded

catfish50 wrote: »

Sounds like a miserable situation for all the children concerned. OP's kids have to put up with her boyfriend's children staying in their rooms -- boyfriend's children have to put up with sleeping either in their dad's girlfriend's children's rooms, or else sleeping in their dad's girlfriend's bedroom (in one double bed?).

OP, couldn't you just treat this man as a non-live-in boyfriend until he is divorced, if he ever does get divorced? He really doesn't sound like promising material if he thinks it's ok to treat his kids (and yours) in this negligent manner.

My partners children sleep in my childrens rooms when my children are staying at their Dads and my children know about this and are ok with this idea. When my children are at home my partners children sleep in my room, one in the double bed and one on a camp bed (its a big room)

bewilderedhelpneeded

peachyprice wrote: »

Doesn't it just, but neither of the poor children's parents seem to mind. The ex wife sounds just as bad as OP's OH letting her children go there in the first place.

Do you mean the ex wife should not let the children stay at my house full stop or do you mean that she should not let them stay due to sleeping arrangements and if so do you mean my partners children staying in my childrens room when they are not there or them staying in my room or both? just interested in other peoples point of view!

catfish50

bewilderedhelpneeded wrote: »

My partners children sleep in my childrens rooms when my children are staying at their Dads and my children know about this and are ok with this idea. When my children are at home my partners children sleep in my room, one in the double bed and one on a camp bed (its a big room)

It still sounds tough on the children to me. Hope you manage to resolve the issues soon in a satisfactory manner, and all the children can be settled with stability again.