Advice needed please!

lostinrates

Can you get a few friends (preferably including at least one ''burly'' bloke?) to help you move stuff? How much do you have there? How quickly could you pack it up? where can you take it?

Make plans, ask for help. FWIW when I left my (violent) ex I found people I barely new were willing to help. People's instinct is often to offer help to victims of domestic abuse (I didn't think of it as that till a long while afterward, its just the bloke had a bit of a temper and was manipulative as far as I was concerned..even when it hurt I didn't think of it as abusive.)....and I found no shortage of nice blokes to go back several times with me to get stuff out. Sure we didn't get it all ...prioritise what you take....paperwork and a suitcase full of clothes...practical clothes etc first, valuables second then things that can be replaced.

Might he go out for a drink with some friends at some point?

delilahstar

He doesn't have any friends. He's literally going to spend the next week or so inside because he is skint and only gets paid on Friday. I can pack everything into boxes and bags, and with my speed, I can have it all moved within a day in my car.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Then prioritise. You need your ID and bank stuff. Nothing else is important. Have it there in a bag and bide your time. He will go out at some point - or you will have to go out for milk or something. Grab your bag and don't look back.

delilahstar

He has been to see his GP today, and his GP has said he can do nothing for him regarding his anger management. The only way is for him to create a way of coping with it. I'm gutted, I don't know what the hell to think anymore or do.

January20

delilahstar wrote: »

He has been to see his GP today, and his GP has said he can do nothing for him regarding his anger management. The only way is for him to create a way of coping with it. I'm gutted, I don't know what the hell to think anymore or do.

Sorry but I don't believe this! Actually, I would say that any anger management course is learning to develop strategies to cope with it! Either he is telling the truth and needs to get a second opinion, either he is lying to you because he doesn't want to change!

Either way, it doesn't matter. What is important is what you decide to do: stay and live with it or take a chance on a better life and go.

Honestly, you can't change him, but you can change yourself and the way you react to his anger. Your life - your choice.

You've been given plenty of advice!

Mojisola

I think he should go back and see a different GP.

In the meantime, these pages have some useful info - https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/anger-management/Pages/Introduction.aspx
- https://www.angermanage.co.uk/how-to-control-anger/keep-cool.html

Elle7

delilahstar wrote: »

He has been to see his GP today, and his GP has said he can do nothing for him regarding his anger management. The only way is for him to create a way of coping with it. I'm gutted, I don't know what the hell to think anymore or do.

While I agree with January that this is very unlikely, I think that this should be the turning point. He won't change, so you need to go. You can't live like you do. Look at this post, and then go. Speed pack, move home, and think about it all later.

Oh, and keep us informed. I've got my fingers crossed for you