Is it better to be presented with an engagement ring or to choose one together?

MarkBargain

Thanks for all the comments. There are definitely two schools of thought. I think I might try to get my girlfriend to comment on what styles she likes and to get her ring-size measured (a bit of a give away maybe), then I will get choose and buy one myself later and present it as a surprise at a future date.

PootleFlump_3

MarkBargain wrote: »

Thanks for all the comments. There are definitely two schools of thought. I think I might try to get my girlfriend to comment on what styles she likes and to get her ring-size measured (a bit of a give away maybe), then I will get choose and buy one myself later and present it as a surprise at a future date.

That will ruin the surprise and the romance of it all dont you think? If my OH had started asking me about rings and sizes I would have known straight away what he was up to and us girls like to be surprised!!

jtr2803

For me, it wouldn't make any difference if you proposed with or without a ring, it's the proposal that counts the most!

themull1

i would hate wearing a ring i didn't like, so i say, pick the ring yourself.

lauraaurora

buy a cheap ring from Argos, and put it in here! Then let her know that you would like to take her shopping to get the ring she would really want. She's going to wear that ring for the rest of her life, and I think that's the best way to get it right!

I was engaged n my early 20's, and my then fiancee gave me a ring which I really didn't like. I was forever seeing other rings and wishing I liked mine. I never told him, of course.

We didn't last the distance, and when my now husband proposed, I had a pretty good idea he was going to do so and so managed to drop a few hints as to what I would like. I now have an engagement ring which I love and wouldn't swap for the world.

Sammy85_2

My OH proposed with the ring, but to be fair, i had dropped a lot of hints and had sent him a website link or two over the years. He knew i wanted a solitaire diamond, and thats exactly what he proposed with. It was a little small, but only very slightly and was easily resized.

You could try bringing it up in conversation with your OH, if you know someone recently engaged, maybe ask her what she thought of so-and-so's ring, or ask her friend to find out? Her friends could easily have a conversation about engagement rings with her and find out exactly what her dream ring is.

x

MarkBargain

PootleFlump wrote: »

That will ruin the surprise and the romance of it all dont you think? If my OH had started asking me about rings and sizes I would have known straight away what he was up to and us girls like to be surprised!!

We have spoken about getting married next year so it wouldn't be a total surprise anyway, and my worry is getting a ring that she doesn't like. I don't know what size to get either, so it would almost certainly need to be returned and resized. I could buy one and then return it just to present something, or propose with an alternative ring or item as others have suggested. I am still thinking it all over and postings on this thread are helpful, so thank you.

floss2

MarkBargain wrote: »

We have spoken about getting married next year so it wouldn't be a total surprise anyway, and my worry is getting a ring that she doesn't like. I don't know what size to get either, so it would almost certainly need to be returned and resized. I could buy one and then return it just to present something, or propose with an alternative ring or item as others have suggested. I am still thinking it all over and postings on this thread are helpful, so thank you.

Why not enlist the help of her best friend to take her "dream engagement ring window-shopping"? Then you've got an idea of what she'd like.

Judith_W

I guess this is really backwards, but with my hubby, we had talked about marriage and knew we wanted to get married but not for a while, so we went ring shopping, chose the ring together. He then kept it for MONTHS eventually proposing when I least expected it, but with the ring we had chosen together.

jojo2004

Another vote for the 'choose together beforehand' route here - I did. I wanted antique, and other than it being platinum (yes, yes, I know that makes it harder to find), had no idea on style. We went shopping for it, found it (Edwardian, platinum, diamonds, BEAUTIFUL), had it resized, and then he proposed. Perfection - for me. Everyone's different.