Is it better to be presented with an engagement ring or to choose one together?

jsnar5

Overwhelmingly it would appear that you need to propose with the ring but, that is not the way we did it. It was not a romantic proposal, more a casual question. We chose the ring together, finding something we both liked and something I could see me wearing for many years, for all occasions. The choice was a 3 diamond gold ring. It was second hand and not that expensive. We have now been married for 28 years and it was the right way for us.

If you are not sure why not discuss it, tell her of a scenario that you have read/heard about where the couple went to buy the ring together (maybe tell her you read it on here) so that they could get the right ring but many of the girls thought it wasn't romantic and see how she responds.
The bottom line is, this is your relationship, you know your partner. I am sure she will love you regardless.

Good luck which ever way you choose to do it

Afitos

Hi,

I think being proposed to would be lovely. We just decided to get married, I couldn't make my mind up what sort of ring to get, there is a thread on here somewhere !

In the end we looked on line, He did a list off of a site then I did a list and then we matched them up !! I did end up with a solitare though something that I never wanted but as everyone else has said I love it and it goes perfectly with my wedding ring which I chose !

I did let my Husband choose the engagement ring in the end because I sort of think that is the 'right' thing to do , If that makes sense !

dawnebabe

I had no idea that my H2B was going to propose when he did, the whole down on one knee presenting me with a beautiful ring which I would never have chosen, but love wholeheartedly! Unbeknown to me, he had made numerous shopping trips with his younger sister, the staff in Ernest Jones actually thought they were getting married!! I'm definately glad he did it the way he did, however, the ring wasn't the correct size & I needed to wait very impatiently for a few weeks before I finally had a ring that fit! Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

Queen_Of_The_Jungle

Its a difficult one isn't it.
Is the proposal going to be a total surprise? If so then you have to go it alone and hopefully get it right.
Or has she hinted/discussed what type of ring she may like, knowing you are going to get engaged one day?
Either way get the biggest/best ring you can afford, as she will have it for life x

MarkBargain

Many thanks for all the replies, it is really helpful and there are some very good ideas there.

MarkBargain

Queen_Of_The_Jungle wrote: »

Its a difficult one isn't it.
Is the proposal going to be a total surprise? If so then you have to go it alone and hopefully get it right.
Or has she hinted/discussed what type of ring she may like, knowing you are going to get engaged one day?
Either way get the biggest/best ring you can afford, as she will have it for life x

It won't be a total surprise as we have discussed the topic and future plans a lot, but not to the extent of rings.

Haha...she has a habit of losing things, so might not have the ring for life. :rotfl:

pink_princess

My Husband proposed with a lily, then I chose my ring. It was perfect and I have always had my ideal ring in my head so I'm so glad he did it that way. Shame he'd booked the date as well and only gave me 3 months planning:eek:
All went lovely though.

Whatever you do will be perfect to her. Show her this thread afterwards so she knows how much thought you have given it, brownie points forever:A:rotfl:

floss2

We had talked about it, and window-shopped various jewellers so he knew the ring I liked....he then went & bought one 50% more expensive & in hindsight much nicer and completely surprised me with the proposal!

PootleFlump_3

I have to say I am sooooo glad my OH did not pick the ring. Im not girlie by any means so hadnt really thought too much about the whole thing (nor did I know he planned on proposing) but I definately much preferred being able to go out together and choose something after he had proposed. Whilst he may have bought something I liked I would have hated to be put in the situation where I perhaps didnt like it as I wouldnt have been able to tell him that I didnt as I wouldnt wanted to have hurt his feelings. My advice would be to let her choose it although everyone is different. My OH proposed with a temporary ring which was absolutely bogging (although very funny at the time because it was soooo horrendous - he did that on purpose!). You could give her a jelly Haribo ring which would be quite cute. Good luck!

Curious_George_2

it was very impotant to us for me to choose the ring, i have a jewellery phobia and had a very specific idea of what i wanted as most rings look horrible to me,
i didnt want a solitaire as ive seen friends solitaires who had a similar budget to us and you need a microscope to see the sparkle, i didnt want a trilogy as thats what OHs ex wife had, i didnt want a cluster as thats what i had before etc etc....
so it took a real indepth search to find the one, we bought it together and had it resized, then the day we picked it up we went to a place special to both of us and he popped the question, not as romantic as others might want, certainly no suprise, but it was how it had to be and in the end... we are engaged, which is the most important bit! lol