oh packed his stuff and left tonight what do i do now?

pearl123

Hi - hope you are doinig better today. And that your uni stuff is progressing or that you've got an extension.

Your other half or ex - He's not overdoing it with the number of hours he's plays with his playstation is he? Is it possible that he's a bit addicted to it? Or was he keeping it sensible?

Any

Seriously - first night of "possible" break up and going for pills???????

DMG - not always I agree with you, but drama queen fits in this case.

Maybe because the couple was always very full on it is time to reflect back on the relationship. Either it was chemistry or real love and in which case having a time apart will only strenghten the relationship.

But one needs to realise those feelings and be sure.

heretolearn_2

What a pair of drama queens!

You both need to do a lot of growing up - relationships are not meant to be like this, and you aren't supposed to behave like this. Sulking, strops, walking out, been cool towards each other, honestly. Try communicating like adults. It takes a while to learn all this - we were all pretty rubbish at relationships to start with, but you two sound very alike and particularly immature, sorry if you find that insulting, but that's how it reads.
a) he annoys you. you sulk and go off to mums.
b) you come home, still sulking, so give him the cold shoulder.
c) he comes home from work, possibly unwell, or possibly just sulking himself and wanting to lie around making you feel sorry for him and guilty
d) you irritate him instead
e) you have a row including calling him names (I'm sorry, are you in a playground?)
f) he decides to strop off back to mummy (little boy wants to play computer games in peace, I bet mummy makes him a sandwich to eat at the same time)
g) you give him an ultimatum about if he goes, don't ever come back (wow, that's mature)
h) off he goes

I know this sounds harsh. But life with or as a drama queen sucks. You both need a few days to calm down, think about what you really want, and start to work towards it with all a bit less emotion and a bit more thought.

By the way, if I'm feeling ill, I generally want to be left alone to die in peace. Bring me a glass of water or bowl of soup every few hours, but otherwise please stay away. Someone getting in bed and pulling me around, trying to cuddle and fuss over me would drive me mental. I wouldn't react by stropping off to my parents, but they'd get firmly told to please go away. So part of living as a couple is in learning that not every one is like you. You like a fuss. He clearly told you he doesn't. You don't know what he wants better than he does.

Aaah young love. I thank god I'm not a teenager any more :-) It does tend to get easier as you older and more experienced. Maybe not the intense highs so much, but it's worth it not to have all this rubbish going on.

make_me_wise

There seems to be a big communication problem between the two of you. You're left wondering whats going on now he has walked out. He probably felt the same when you came back and 'played hard to get'.

Surely by the time you are living together you are past that stage. If my husband flipped out, walked out, came back and behaved that way Id grow very bored of the situation and seriously consider whether he was really the type of person I would want to be in a relationship with. All far to childish for me to be honest.

As for what he is responsible for as far as the flat goes. If both names are on the tenancy agreement then he will be liable for half the rent. As far as bills are concerned if he isn't there and not using the facilities then to be honest I dont see he should pay the bills.

joeblack066

Any news Chloo?

Mupette

perhaps he's addicted to his playstation, and now it's been hacked once again he is going cold turkey and taking it out on you

chloo

Thanks aliuro I handed my work in today it wasn't a written piece it was a portfolio so 44 pages of a3 covered in glitter gems cut outs and full of facts I hope! I got it in on time so that's good at least it's not hanging over me any more!
Willema thanks will have to check it did have a look at the renewal letter it said we had to give two months notice so until august basically but as I understand by law it's only one month? So that would take us to July? Thank you!

Ems thank you I did get my work in so I'm feeling a little lighter for that thank you for your kind words!

Hi podperson thank you for the message. We spend most our time together as a couple doing things I try to go out with my Uni friends every other week but sometimes I don't go out with them. With the play station he does play it an awful lot I get it's his hobby and he enjoys it but i do get annoyed with it his mum says it's not healthy the amount of time he plays on it. For example on a Saturday he will play from when he gets up then he goes to football and then when he gets home until 3,4 or even 5 am, he gets quiet angry when his team doesn't win. I just want to add as a lot of people keep saying I didn't sneak out to my mums it was decided between us I would go to my mums for the night I didn't disappear! And when I say played hard to get I would just be a bit cool like leave it a while after he text me, and I made him make more of the decisions and like when sitting on the sofa I didn't cuddle into him I let him make the first move if that makes sense? Thank you very much for reading my post and replying x

Thanks for the reply pig pen. I guess our relationship is different to yours we are very cuddley and affectionate towards each other.!

Thanks for your reply abey congratulations on the baby! I can totally understand what everyone means that it probably annoyed him which obviously isn't what I set out to do! With the Uni work I got it in on time but it would of been cut to 40% of the full marks for allocation if that makes sense? So it was ever so important to finish. Thank you

Hello pearl thank you for replying I have got the Uni work sorted pulled an all nighter so I'm very glad it's in now a heap off of my shoulders. With the playstation if you read what I put to pod person It's quicker than retyping!!! Thank you x

Ermm thanks for the reply any. I can assure you im not a drama queen I am finding it very difficult to Keep my head up and to keep on top of my Uni work without stressing about money and bailiffs and losing my other half.!

Again thanks for the comment heartolearn if you read with I put to pod person I think maybe you would understand a bit more and not just make an uneducated guess.!

Hi make me wise thanks for the reply if you read what I have commented to pod person I didn't strop out to my mums. I agree about the bills to be honest I dont even want to stay in the flat anymore I dont see why he should be allowed to just walk away from a massive commitment and I'm stuck in the flat until
A the let's up
B I can find a friends sofa to sleep on.!
I know I have thought long and hard and I really believe we are happy 95% of the time and to me that's to much to just chuck away. Thank you!

Hi Joe black thank you for the reply. I had a blunt text off him saying he's been to the bank and transferred over the money for bills and rent so I think with regards to these tell him to pay in until the tenancy finishes sit done and work out who owes what and then split the left over money. Heard from his lovely stepmum and she said not to worry about money if he doesn't pay it they will. They breifly spoke to him last night and he's defo at his mums but didn't get any more info thank you for your reply.!

Hi Mupette that's along the lines of what my mum says and along with his hours being cut at work so him having less money and no FIFA to play he's pretty annoyed. It's not my fault play stations down and it's not my fault his hours got cut at work I have tried to help him find a new job but he does the interviews and doesn't hear back poor bloke. Thank you!

heretolearn_2

Hi


Well it's good he's paid up.

I know I sounded harsh but really, relationships are hard enough at that age when you still both have your L plates on, don't go adding all the complications of living together into the mix. It very rarely works out. Better just to date and enjoy your time together.

scooby088

I think is a case of too much too soon, both of you are still young and need to enjoy your lives before you get bogged down with money problems and living together, maybe you were in each others pockets too much and spent too much time in each others company. I think even if you had been together for 30 years then you still need your own space and room, just because you are a couple doesn't go to say you lose your individuality too. As for the playstation is can become addictive and the network being down is maybe a blessing in disguise for your BF. I do hope all works out for you.

pigpen

chloo wrote: »

Thanks for the reply pig pen. I guess our relationship is different to yours we are very cuddley and affectionate towards each other.!

I never said we weren't.. but when I am ill I want leaving alone.. touching me actually makes me want to vomit.

Being under 25 do you not have a guarantor who is liable for the rent/repairs should you not pay?.. having been in their position I think it is fair you reassure them.

Glad you got your assignment in.. men are so not worth wasting opportunities for! and that you are feeling better today.. medication is often a cop out when you need to face reality and deal with it accordingly.. there is a time and a place and you seem quite ok at the moment. And pleased to see finances are being dealt with.

I hope given a cooling off period he can speak to you sensibly and in a mature manner and hopefully you can either try again but taking it a little slower or you can get closure and move on. My son is 19 and split from his GF recently and I said to him this.. one day when you find the person you truly love and are meant to be with you will look back on this upset and hurt and realise it helped get you to where you are. They had been together 3 years and have a 2 y/o little boy.