Employer Banning Out Of Hours Socialising!

pipscot

WoodruffsDad wrote: »

My original name was something very close to my real name. On advice from this forum I changed it to "woodruffsdad". I have never done ANYTHING else to change it or renew it. I am as confused as you are as to why my posting score changes from post to post

Could it be anything to do with the fact that I post on a Dell PC at work and an Apple iMac at home?

you seem to have 2 usernames - WoodruffsDad and woodruffsdad - these are separate users as far as MSE is concerned. Probably you are using 1 username at work and the other username at home.

WoodruffsDad

pipscot wrote: »

you seem to have 2 usernames - WoodruffsDad and woodruffsdad - these are separate users as far as MSE is concerned. Probably you are using 1 username at work and the other username at home.

I am not knowingly using 2 names. I was not even aware that I had two!

catfish50

birkee wrote: »

Without plowing through this post to the end:-

You wish to take advantage of subsidised activities for your own ends?
Are you going to share their subsidised food as well?
There's a smack of misuse of public funds about this.
Follow behind in your own car if you want to share with friends, and make sure you supply your own food etc.
Can't see an employer complaining about you being in the same place at the same time, but taking advantage of subsidies? NO!

That sounds like stalking.

If the OP wants to visit this heritage site with his wife and any friends who happen to live in the sheltered home where his wife works, there's nothing to stop him from organizing such a trip. But to follow along on an outing organized for (and probably by) the residents of a sheltered home, would be downright creepy, IMO.

birkee

Posted pre post #74. Now removed.

Later post says trip is NOT subsidised.

sulkisu

WoodruffsDad wrote: »

My wife works for a local authority in the sheltered housing field. I have completely separate employment in a commercial field.

The authority has decreed that employees must no longer socialise with residents and are no longer allowed to take part in any of the sheltered housing scheme's social activities, including outings to UK attractions.

My wife and I would very much like to go on one of the visits coming up this summer which has been arranged by the sheltered housing scheme's social committee because it is to a heritage site which we are both deeply interested in. My wife would like to book the day as annual leave and go on the visit with me on a personal basis.

The employer, a council, has told my wife that if she goes on the trip, even though it is in her own time, she will be subject to disciplinary action.

Can an employer legally dictate what an employee can and cannot do during their holidays?

I don't think they can dictate what an employee can or cannot do during their holidays, but they can dicate who can join in on events/trips that they are organising (whether those people are paying their own way or not).

If your wife's employer has suddenly changed their stance on this, as you suggest in one of your posts, perhaps it's because the lines have become blurred and they no longer see it as a good idea. The fact that you and your wife feel so strongly about your wish/right/need to go on this trip and to be with 'your friends', suggests that they may have a point. As other posters have pointed out, there is nothing to prevent you and your wife from visiting this heritage site on your own or with other (non-work related) friends.

kai666

WoodruffsDad wrote: »

Because many of the residents who will be going on the visit are our friends. We like to go with friends rather than on our own.

but they are not your friends, your wife is employed to look after them.

WoodruffsDad

"You wish to take advantage of subsidised activities for your own ends?
Are you going to share their subsidised food as well?
There's a smack of misuse of public funds about this.
Follow behind in your own car if you want to share with friends, and make sure you supply your own food etc.
Can't see an employer complaining about you being in the same place at the same time, but taking advantage of subsidies? NO!"

How dare you accuse us of taking advantage of subsidised food! There is NO subsidised food or anything else. When we get to our destinations on these trips we all make our own arrangements for food. Some go to cafes and some take packed meals. We each pay our own way. As for using our own car and following behind, aren't we being urged to use cars less and use public transport? There are always spare seats on our coaches so why can't we use them and help save the environment?

It might be a good thing if some ignorant posters on this forum stuck to facts and stopped making assumptions!

scooby088

This is why i have advised my OH not to get back into social care of the elderly, I do think becoming friends with clients in the situation can open you up to a whole lot of trouble, and in all honesty i wouldn't personally treat the client as a friend but i would be friendly and professional in my dealings with them.

On a personal issue i wouldn't want to socialise with the clients out of my work environment.

WoodruffsDad

kai666 wrote: »

but they are not your friends, your wife is employed to look after them.

Please read my earlier posts. I explained that, having been born and brought up in the local area, I knew many of the sheltered residents as friends, as did my wife, long before my wife got her present job.

What are we supposed to do? Blank them?

Theory is fine but we live in the REAL world!

WoodruffsDad

scooby088 wrote: »

This is why i have advised my OH not to get back into social care of the elderly, I do think becoming friends with clients in the situation can open you up to a whole lot of trouble, and in all honesty i wouldn't personally treat the client as a friend but i would be friendly and professional in my dealings with them.

On a personal issue i wouldn't want to socialise with the clients out of my work environment.

See my post 80 above.