Employer Banning Out Of Hours Socialising!

dmg24

WoodruffsDad wrote: »

Please read my earlier posts. I explained that, having been born and brought up in the local area, I knew many of the sheltered residents as friends, as did my wife, long before my wife got her present job.

What are we supposed to do? Blank them?

Theory is fine but we live in the REAL world!

Then perhaps it would be better for your wife to move to another unit, where she is not on such familiar terms with the residents?

There is no way to put this diplomatically so I'll just ask it - do you not have your own friends away from the home?

WoodruffsDad

dmg24 wrote: »

Then perhaps it would be better for your wife to move to another unit, where she is not on such familiar terms with the residents?

There is no way to put this diplomatically so I'll just ask it - do you not have your own friends away from the home?

It's not a "home"! It's a collection of flats and bungalows which makes for independent living.

Why are you so concerned with my personal life and friendships? I only wanted advice on the legality of her employer instructing my wife how to use her personal time!

KiKi

WoodruffsDad wrote: »

Please read my earlier posts. I explained that, having been born and brought up in the local area, I knew many of the sheltered residents as friends, as did my wife, long before my wife got her present job.

What are we supposed to do? Blank them?

Theory is fine but we live in the REAL world!

And in the real world the council have said staff cannot socialise with vulnerable clients. So you need to deal with that either by challenging the council or your wife finding another job, or going along with their decision.

Interestingly, you seem to have ignored my posts - and those of others - pointing out the council's valid view regarding protection of your wife and the clients. You're only responding to other views which you are vehemently disagreeing with.

Does this mean you can see some value in the other opinions, or are you just ignoring posts that put forward valid arguments?

KiKi

KiKi

WoodruffsDad wrote: »

Why are you so concerned with my personal life and friendships? I only wanted advice on the legality of her employer instructing my wife how to use her personal time!

And I answered you on the legality of it way back on page 1. But you've not responded to my posts regarding that, and ignored any sensible argument I've put forward to you when explaining it.

KiKi

pipscot

WoodruffsDad wrote: »

It's not a "home"! It's a collection of flats and bungalows which makes for independent living.

Why are you so concerned with my personal life and friendships? I only wanted advice on the legality of her employer instructing my wife how to use her personal time!

you have been given advice on the legality of this several times now! Arguing with the people who have provided that advice (for free and actually trying to help you) will not help! :)

If you are that concerned, I suggest you consult a lawyer. Everyone here is actually trying to help you and your wife but you don't seem to want to listen to us so I suggest your next step is to consult a lawyer specialising in employment law.

WoodruffsDad

I give up! I will NOT be returning to this forum.

I have never read such a load of politically correct, uninformed, uncaring comments. It is evident that few posters have any idea of the reasoning behind sheltered housing or how it works. I'll reach my own conclusions.

Goodbye.

SueC_2

WoodruffsDad wrote: »

I only wanted advice on the legality of her employer instructing my wife how to use her personal time!

They're not really instructing her how to use her personal time though, are they?

They are simply saying that outings arranged by the social committee are for the benefit of residents, not employees or anyone else. It's really not that unreasonable a stipulation.


EDIT: Sorry, cross-posted with, as opposed to ignoring, your withdrawal from this thread.

catfish50

WoodruffsDad wrote: »

Please read my earlier posts. I explained that, having been born and brought up in the local area, I knew many of the sheltered residents as friends, as did my wife, long before my wife got her present job.

What are we supposed to do? Blank them?

Theory is fine but we live in the REAL world!

We do live in the real world, and in the real world you are not entitled to join in activities at your wife's place of work, unless invited to do so with the agreement and approval of her employers.

Couldn't you perhaps find other social activities to attend? For example, most heritage sites have a "Friends of....." society. If the heritage site which you and your wife are deeply interested in has such a society, why not join? It might be a good way to make new friends, who would not be associated with your wife's place of work. Or how about organizing social activities at your own place of work? Or volunteer with a local charity? It's not always easy to find friends these days, when many people work long hours and don't have time for much socializing, but there are still ways to get in touch with others if you look around.

RuthnJasper

This is an interesting debate. All I can really add is my own experience.

For a long time, I was under the care of the local Adult Community Mental Health team (now discharged, hurrah!). I was always very friendly with my support workers - one, in particular, who remains a friend. HOWEVER, there came a time when someone from my local area, who I knew (still know) very well saw me sitting in the waiting room and came over for a chat. She was there on a work placement. Following that encounter, she would 'phone me at home and always make a beeline for me on social occasions, trying to 'support/counsel' me. As the reason for my needing the service was owing to trauma from a distressing incident, I certainly did not wish to discuss the matter outside of a professional environment and neither did I particularly wish to socialise with most of those who knew what had happened to me and were trying to help me through it.

My real point, anyway, is that on one social occasion the lady was talking to me and passed on a lot of information about what goes on 'behind closed doors', at the Mental Health Team's office. Certain things about other service users; strategies the support workers use to wind down after encounters with difficult patients; comments her colleagues made about patients - all of which I had no desire to hear and which I found rather distressing, not to mention mortifying (even though I didn't know the other service users).

It is very difficult to know how this issue could be resolved in a way that would make you happy, WoodruffsDad. Of course you should keep your friends, but there have to be boundaries on what's open for discussion at these events.

As another poster suggested, something must have happened to prompt this, somewhere along the line. It could be that in a different part of the area a care worker DID cross a boundary - or one or more residents asked if they could have their own events without staff there. Who knows? I am sure your wife could raise this with her colleagues or manager (or you could, given that they put you through a CRB check and are aware of your involvement in your wife's work) and find out why the new rules are in place.

Hope everything works out for you.

tbourner

WoodruffsDad wrote: »

I give up! I will NOT be returning to this forum.

Goodbye.

:wave:
..