Living @ home and hating it

chevalier

don't be taken for a ride ref the phone, he is using you. that money would have been almost the £67 you were looking for to be under £2000. His finances are no longer your affair, if he can't keep a mobile contract to talk to his sick mum then that is his problem.

sorry
chev

cassidy0111

LittleBoots wrote: »

There's nothing stopping him picking up a payg sim, there's lots of good deals out there with free calls/texts etc
Hope I'm not sounding too harsh, I know how hard it is to stop caring

No not at all. I think you have to be "business like" in these situations. I admire that your ex pays for his debt. I have learned a valuable lesson and the anger I feel when I see these phone bills makes me care less and less each time.

cassidy0111

chevalier wrote: »

don't be taken for a ride ref the phone, he is using you. that money would have been almost the £67 you were looking for to be under £2000. His finances are no longer your affair, if he can't keep a mobile contract to talk to his sick mum then that is his problem.

sorry
chev

thanks Chev. I think I have paid out more than £200 on this mobile phone contract since we split. It would not be the first time he has taken me for a mug as he left me with all sorts of bills to pay when he left. (one of the reasons the Halifax card got so high).

I would not have brought this up tonight had it not been for the 0845/0870 numbers. I just think that is really arrogant to do that!!

LittleBoots

Too right, Chev is right that could have been your £67 almost. If u can't cancel it then please get it dropped down to the lowest tariff possible. He needs to take responsibility himself

cassidy0111

LittleBoots wrote: »

Too right, Chev is right that could have been your £67 almost. If u can't cancel it then please get it dropped down to the lowest tariff possible. He needs to take responsibility himself

I will get a message to the ex and contact Orange and see what they can do.

cassidy0111

Well have asked my friend to speak to my ex regarding the mobile phone. I suppose I could phone him myself as I pay the bill for his phone!! But I think a mutual friend will do the job better than I could.

iwantahome

Not wanting to sound too harsh, but if he's found someone else and decided its over with you then he doesn't give a hoot about your feelings. His new partner can deal with his communication issues if need be. Don't let yourself be a doormat. If your friends take his side over yours if there are any repercussions then they weren't your true friends. Tell them the situation and state exactly how much debt he left you in. I did when my ex was living it up with someone else, partying every weekend while I paid debt that was not mine and lived with my parents, which I still do and I hate that taking on someone else's debt is the reason I am not now sitting in my own flat. It has stopped many opportunities for me, but I have learned a lot and will never ever sign up for something phone or loan or anything for anyone else ever.

Breaking up and letting on the financial mess I was put in was also a great time to find out who my true friends were and get rid of the false friends. I now know exactly which friends I would do anything for and which friends would do the same back.

Stopping the phone will be hard, but it will make you stronger.

Stopping paying my ex's bills and demanding some of my money back did exactly that to me.

gothrockchic1

Hi ya, just been reading your thread and posts and want to wish you luck. I broke up with someone 18 months ago and we were living together and I am still owed money but chose to keep quiet about it Im £300 out of pocket but it's better to have him out of my life and its a small price to pay for that :cool:

I would follow your instincts on how to deal with the phone bill saga only you will know how he will react. You can get a cheap Sim card for 99p in Tesco!

Also I want say that you are doing so well with the 100 day challenge! That £67 will turn up somehow! Its a good feeling getting it under £2k I did it recently! :j:beer:

LittleBoots

Such a carppy situation, hope your friend gets through to him.

cassidy0111

iwantahome wrote: »

Not wanting to sound too harsh, but if he's found someone else and decided its over with you then he doesn't give a hoot about your feelings. His new partner can deal with his communication issues if need be. Don't let yourself be a doormat. If your friends take his side over yours if there are any repercussions then they weren't your true friends. Tell them the situation and state exactly how much debt he left you in. I did when my ex was living it up with someone else, partying every weekend while I paid debt that was not mine and lived with my parents, which I still do and I hate that taking on someone else's debt is the reason I am not now sitting in my own flat. It has stopped many opportunities for me, but I have learned a lot and will never ever sign up for something phone or loan or anything for anyone else ever.

Breaking up and letting on the financial mess I was put in was also a great time to find out who my true friends were and get rid of the false friends. I now know exactly which friends I would do anything for and which friends would do the same back.

Stopping the phone will be hard, but it will make you stronger.

Stopping paying my ex's bills and demanding some of my money back did exactly that to me.

When he left I had to use the credit card to settle all the bills and contracts before moving back home. I could not afford to keep the flat and it was not really all that convenient for my work anyway.

We have a really close group of friends dating back to when we first met on Glasgow gay scene about 10 years ago. I know it has been awkward for some of them trying to stay neutral.

Had it not been for the debt, I would have rented a cheaper flat closer to my job. So I do feel a little bitter that I am back at home. have not lived here since I was 16/17. I have learned a lesson- do not take on debt/contracts for other people who claim they "love" you.